That's beautiful, Jen. But the lace won't yellow?

I have mine too. On TV there was a lady that made christening outfits for each grandbaby out of her wedding dress. I think that's what I'm saving mine for. It's brocade, so I think it'd be lovely...

Okay. I'm crying again. I'm such a schmaltz today. The past two days the Wook has been going on and on about how beautiful I am. I keep expecting the earth to spin off it's orbit..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Ah well, it's home made eggroll night. You and Rob are invited... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

- Kimmy

Ah, that explains it. Good thinking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hey, I did that too!!! Cept, I used it as a backdrop to frame some other wedding momentos...#1 A dollar bill that I had ripped in half when Mr. W moved back home to Michigan from Georgia while we were dating...I said, "I bet you that I won't ever live in Michigan with you." (I thought he would go back and forget me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />) Anyway, we had a long distance relationship for a while...broke up, got back together, broke up-we were kids-In the meantime each half of the dollar bill would be sent back and forth accordingly...Lastly, at our wedding the minister used the dollar bill and spoke rather eloquently about how that we would always be worth more together than apart...it was quite sweet...

#2 I saved the wedding kiss by using a very pretty hanky to wipe his lips after we kissed(residual lipstick)...so all of that along with the wedding lace is framed and hanging in our bedroom...

WARNING...I'm on a ramble, but thought I'd share this too...Recently I ran across the letters that each of us wrote to the other the night before our wedding...the letters were post marked on our wedding day, and we didn't open them until our 1 year anniversary...SIMPLY INCREDIBLE...It just floors me to know what I almost threw away, and how very deeply that I hurt my sweet husband...I am truly blessed to have him in my life...

Ok, sorry, sappy, sentimental, romantic rambling is officially over! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

Crying again.......

That is beautiful, Mrs. Just beautiful.

Awww Kimmy, thanks, but don't cry...I'll be forced to go out and buy a hanky to save "friendship tears"...LOL...I'm such a sap! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

That was lovely Mrs W.

BTW don't worry, Kimmy and I have a tissue that we share.

What a pathetic dweezlenut!

...anyway, I'm so glad that you and Rob are talking about this incident. And that you've decided 2 stay married.

Good stuff, Jen.

-ol' 2long

Just so you know, Jen, you are and will always be one of my favorite silly foreigners! love ya! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

:::::Here's an exercise when you get an MB crush: imagine the object is 300 lbs. overweight, balding, in desperate need of a dentist.

A.M.Martin, Is this your distant memory of JL????????????

ML, The only problem with your actions in KJ's sitch is that it might force anyone else who is in Kiwij's situation, deeper underground. Anyone thinking of fessing up to MBs with the hope of getting the 2x4 they know they need would think again. They are left to work outside the radar - which is not a good thing when secrecy is feeding their excitement. Most of us know someone who can contact our S if we find ourself in an inappropriate relationship.

But I guess "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush".

an

anyname, I guess I don't see that as a problem because anyone who wants to do the right thing won't be "forced" anywhere; they will do the right thing. A person can't be forced underground against their will. I don't WANT to be the kind of friend one can come to and crow about an affair and I don't think MB, thankfully, is that kind of place. If someone wants to feel "safe" doing so, they should go to gloryb.com. But if someone really wants to do the right thing, they will do it.

anyname...

Um, I'll take "Foggy Logic"<img src=...olleyes.gif" alt="" /> for $1000 Alex!!!

Mrs. W

***Just had to edit, because surely this must be a game!***

The gesture you did for your H would not be lost on me. Just keep plugging away at making right what has gone wrong... it will work out in the end. You are a lucky woman to have Rob by your side...in short time, he will be able to feel the same about you. I wish you both happiness.

Jen - You know that I care for you and support you and Rob 1000%. But I was stunned by this -

"I'm planning my wedding pages. I still have my wedding dress and I'm going to cut off some of the lace and use it on the page. Those pages will be the profoundest message of all to Rob."

Of course, I don't know Rob, but as a BS, the above would mean absolutely NOTHING to me. My WH, while still living with the OW, made my an album of our life together. I have no idea what he thought it would mean to me. The only thing it did for me was make me very sad. It was a reminder of all that he decided to throw away for the OW.

What I needed was ACTION - no more lies, no more secrets, no contact with the OW, an explanation of "why", assurance that it wouldn't happen again.

anyname, I guess I don't see that as a problem because anyone who wants to do the right thing won't be "forced" anywhere; they will do the right thing. A person can't be forced underground against their will.

Sure, in an ideal world. But I thought the foggy thinking of a WS rendered them confused and in an extreme state of "conflict". e.g wanting to do the right thing and desperately needing another hit of the LUV chemicals. A person cannot be "forced" undergroud but they may choose to continue with a double life rather than get ratted on (in their warped minds) by their friends. Sure it's their choice but these folks are in a mess, as I understand it. It was interesting that someone as MBs wise as Jwj still would not acquisce to what everyone was telling her to do.

It was just another point of view. Thanx mrs W. for your input too. At least I can amuse people if nothing else.
an

anyname, this is not an ideal world and STILL a person cannot be "forced" underground against their will. We can no more force them underground than we can "force" them to stop their affair against their will. What a person chooses to do is something over which only they have control. And only they are responsible for their choices. I have no control over the behavior of others, thankfully. I can only control myself, and as such, can only concern myself with my own actions.

Anyname,

Have to agree with the others here. If a WS is serious, then they will need the 2x4. If they arent, then the 2x4 will scare them away.

And if they arent serious, then it SHOULD scare them away!

In His arms.

You know, it's funny... in all my years here (geez louize, has it really been seven?)... I have yet to meet an active WS who didn't eventually tell us what was going on.

Yes, I'm serious.

I'm sure there are those who quietly disappear and we never hear from them again, but they aren't usually the active posters.

My guess, for what it's worth, is that in spite of everything... an active WS knows what's right and wrong... and they need validation of that.

Plus, let's get real... a cursory reading here will tell you that you won't be getting hugs and fluffies when you say you're in an affair. This place is hard-core, folks... which is not to say there isn't care and compassion amongst our members (there is)... but hugs are not the first line defence against affairs - a dose of reality is.

Jen,

I think your album sounds nice. I hope your H appreciates the care and thought that has gone into it... and yes, while actions will speak louder than anything else, any and all efforts toward healing are a good thing, I think.

B, I couldn't do what your H did and Rob knows that I haven't been able to do any Italy pages (and I never will) or any pages of our dog (even though she died 6 years ago). Just too painful.

That's why it will mean a lot when I put together our wedding pages.

Oh and as to being forced underground. I never would be. I confessed on here looking for help.

I think we may have lost two MBers though. Both on the verge of EAs, both, as Mrs Dubya said, succumbing to la la fantasy land.

If KiwiJ had really wanted to remain a nameless person on this board, she would have not emailed from her personal account. If she had not done that Mel wouldn't have been able to find her number.

There have been lots of WS who were not 'ratted on' by people on here. No one knew how to do that. Jen opened herself up to something just like this- first off, she posted on here her struggles. She received lots and lots of enocuragment to remedy the situation. When she didn't take the action herself, Mel did what a lot of betrayed spouses wish someone had done for them and called the betrayed spouse.

There are very few betrayed spouses who do not wish someone had cared enough to tell them about their spouse's affair.

I suppose that if you had a friend and found out they were having an affair, you'd sit on that information? How would you feel if you found out your spouse was in an affair and a huge percentage of his aquaintances knew about it, but never bothered to let you know?

Believe me, If Mel was having an affair and I found out about it, I'd drive across town, kick her rear, and haul her in the house and make her tell her husband. I'd expect the same thing from her. Why? Because we know the MB principles and believe in them.

I see it as we here hold one another accountable because we are all here upholding those beliefs. That is why Mel made that call.

You must admit there are lots of WS who come on here and are encouraged and 2x4ed and hopefully they do the right thing. Those that are here to justify their A are referred to gloryb. No one on here goes about trying to find out who the WS is so they can call the BS.

This was different as, despite the lack of one on one in person contact, there was a relationship.