Precisely. That was my point.

Each of us will have our own boundaries over this issue. This has worked out well in this case. It didn`t cross ML`s personal boundary to contact Rob and it didn`t cross Jen and Rob`s boundary to have been contacted.

However for some of us this would have been a crossing of our boundaries since we do feel that MB is supposed to be an anonymous forum. If you are e-mailing outside the forum I think you do have to let go of that expectation to a certain extent.

This situation has made a few people uncomfortable and I do understand their reasoning.

I don`t think a consensus is going to be reached as to whether this was right or wrong because each member here has different personal boundaries on this issue.

No it`s not my thing....but if it WERE my thing I would have felt violated because of my expectation of anonymity here. But that`s just me.

I do still respect the opinions of those who would feel differently though.

I wish everyone would give this a rest.

MB is, and always be, as anonymous as you want to make it. I've always used my real first name and my H's first name and if you can track me down with that, good for you, you'd be very clever.

It was through private e-mail I was found, absolutely NOTHING to do with MB.

I will say it again and again. My H and I grateful to Mel for calling.

Now if you'd all be like JL and the others on here who are actively helping me and Rob I would also be very grateful.

Excellent Post Jen...

Is Rob a very sensitive man? Exactly how has he responded to all this? Have you talked to him about the fact that you crave more excitement in your life, or do you feel that he is too hurt right now to deal with that? I'm just trying to see if he's anything at all like Mr. W, before I can offer anything that might be of value to you guys...

Mrs. W

Mrs W, Rob is a very sensitive man. When I met him he was a hippy trainee teacher. He was unlike anyone I'd ever met before. People love him. Most people describe him as "cool". Our kids love that he knows so much about everything. He's widely read, intelligent and cares passionately about the future of the planet. I've never heard him raise his voice in anger (well, once just after d-day).

We've never had a fight in 32 years. I don't know if that's a good thing. I don't think it is.

You know, I've been thinking and if Rob ever called me and said meet me in a bar after work, it would have the same effect as if the OM called.

He knows I'll always be more outgoing and "out there" than him and as JL has pointed out to me before that's why he's attracted to me. I watched his father spend the last 20 years of his life sitting on the porch reading a book and I just don't want that for me or him. Poor old guy (my FIL), he deserved that you know, he'd worked hard all his life including 5 years away during WWII. My MIL made her own life, holidays alone, outings with friends etc. which was sad.

I know Europe is a trigger for him. I'd hoped that we could make new memories in a different country (not Italy).

How about Texas? It's a country you know.

I think there are even a few natives that would show you two the sites! I'm sure Mel would teach you how to back comb your hair like a proper Southern lady!

>Rob is a very sensitive man

I KNEW IT! I suspect that is one of the reasons you couldn't fess up to him. You couldn't bear to hurt him...

But you know, sometimes we have to hurt in order to heal. Like ripping the band aid hurts, but the air HAS to get in (that's a way to minimize this....but it's a good analogy, I think).

We sometimes forget that saving someone we love some hurt can actually hurt them more in the long run.

Does Rob want to step out of his comfort zone and try those different things you crave?

LOL DD, the kids are spending 2 months crossing the States in October and November, but not Texas. I did suggest the US to Rob but it went down like a lead balloon.

If Rob got angry it would have been easier, you're right, anger is actually easier to deal with than hurt.

Rob could probably be pushed out of his comfort zone but right now it would like look criticism. As everyone has pointed out, it's me that needs to do the work right now.

We're actually doing very well. We've decided to put talking on hold until we have some good alone time to talk. SF is still every second night as usual (and very nice SF it is too) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

>SF is still every second night as usual (and very nice SF it is too)

Oh man. Thanks. Now when he does come to Texas, he's gonna tell you, "I really like that Kimmy person, but why does she have such a fascination with my SHOES???"

Sounds a lot like Mr. W...With exception of the sensitive part-Mr. W is not typically an emotive person-though that has changed some (in a good way) since Dday...And that whole NOT raising their voice thing...HOW DO THEY DO THAT??? I can't even type without doing it...LOL!


I don't necessarily agree with this...What makes you think it's a bad thing? Do you just withdraw from each other when angry? That would be a bad thing...a real intimacy blocker...


This you need to tell him...I'm not sure where you stand on the drinking thing...Is this a good idea for you really?


You know, Dorry and Sprint are like this in their personality differences...She has gatherings at her house for this reason...she gets to be super social and he still has the comfort of home...could be an idea...

I also think that you should really talk to him about the US trip...A change of scenery/vacation would be an excellent respite for you both...

Mrs. W

JL,

Is it true you look like Yoda?

AMM

AMM,

Purely propaganda! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I am sure trying to NOT look like Yoda. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Actually you sat near me in SF if I remember correctly with Red Hat and a few others. It is hard to match names, faces, and real names isn't it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

JL

-emphasis mine

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LMAO...JL, have you gotten so old that you've forgotten what *SF* means on this site??? Please oh please tell me you meant San Francisco!!!

And AMM, JL's just wise like Yoda...Although, to be fair, I have never actually seen JL, however, since he is so wise, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and take him at his word that he doesn't really look like Yoda... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

You know JL, this starting rumors thing is kinda fun!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

JL, did I miss you in Baltimore?

Hi Jen. Think aboutchya lots.

GC

Gray,

I was there for a few days. Just attended sessions, learned a few things, coordinated some research, and headed out toward the end of the week. I did not realize you were there. Are you coming to SF (San Francisco for Mrs Dubya <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) in the fall?

JL

I just remember him looking handsome and distinguished. To the best of my memory. Which was very distorted that evening.

I was freaked out to the max because I had gotten lost and was wildly late and had finally panicked and abandoned my car in some illegal place.

I was trying to look calm.

Mrs. Dubya,

What am I going to do with you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> You are have FAR to much fun with this rumor thing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> I think we discussed the issues of Yoda shape and form before didn't we?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

But, it is true that my command of the English language is about as good as Yoda's and probably he punctuates about as well as I do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Time to turn in tonight.

God Bless,

JL

JL, if our mutual friend were to read this, I think he would laugh very very hard.

For everyone else. JL is MUCH TOO TALL to be Yoda.

He could be a Wookie, I s'pose, but he's not hairy enough.

To me, well, he looks like our mutual friend, because they were both shaped by the same forces. Which is to say, they probably did about the same numbers of pushups when they were young and impressionable.

Hey, this is my serious thread. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Now all I can see is JL as Yoda dispensing advice, sitting in a chair with a hand up his butt (like in the final SW).

We still haven't talked much but there's lots of cuddling and smooching and affection going on so I think we're doing fine. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

AND we talked on the phone with my daughter in Spain this morning. They're still having an absolute ball. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> JL, you probably don't know but my DD and her b/f (who will be my SIL soon I hope) are doing an 8 month tour of Europe and the States. They left in April. I miss her terribly but am SO happy they're having such a good time.

JustJ,

Yup, he would be laughing...something off. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />



And facing more and more of that problem each year. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I know when it starts raining much sooner than I used to.


Right again, way too many pushups, too many miles run, too many pullups and we were organized by height, so I was average height as was our friend (although he was an inch shorter). I had dinner with his old college roommate last week as well. That guy was starting to look a little old as well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

JustJ do you know the worst thing, my boys are respectively 3 and 1.5 inches taller than me. The "old" man gets no respect these days. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Your comments brought to mind something else. I was traveling across country last week and was sitting in the airport waiting for a connection. Sitting there were a bunch of men from the 101st airborne heading back to Iraq. We got to talking and I thought of our friend and I and realized that next year it will be 40 years since I was commisioned in the AF. Man, those guys looked young but talking to them was fun. They are good, well trained, and really motivated I am proud of them and told them so.

But, you are right JJ our friend would be laughing alot. You know he did look like Yoda when he was a kid? It's true. 5' 3" with size 15 shoes and 180. He changed a bit between then and college and then and when you met him. Yup, he would be enjoying this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hope things are continuing to go well in your life.

JL

Oh and Gray, thanks for thinking about us. I think about you as well. I read your latest "news" on the Campfire. I can only say I'm sorry. Sheesh, where IS that girl that's out there for you. She's there you know and you'll have happiness beyond your wildest dreams.

Nah, JL looks nothing like Yoda or a wookie. There's an actor who reminds me of him, but that was over 20 years ago. Barney something was the name of the show, and the character was one of the cops. But JL doesn't wear glasses, either...


All you Yoda nutballs need 2 read this article (unless "The Onion" offends you):

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33208

-ol' 2long