It was Barney Miller. You don't mean Abe Vigoda do you? Please tell me you don't.

No, I've never wondered about that particular "piece" of Yoda. When I was a kid though and read adventure stories I wondered why no one ever needed to go to the bathroom. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And Kimmy already has the Wookie.

Had a post all typed up and forgot to hit ALL of the buttons.

Man that makes me mad.

Jen, it sounds as if things are progressing. The touching and cuddling and anything else <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> are really good things. But, he will need to hear your views on the marriage and him. He will need reassurance about your ultimate goals.

He will also need to hear what he can do for you. You know us guys are task oriented don't you? We are, so make sure he knows how to make you feel better about things.

I envy your daughter and her bf their trip but having spent some time in airports these last few weeks, I must say the "thrill of flying" is gone. I do still enjoy driving though. Young son and I drove most of the way across country last summer to deliver a car to my daughter. It was a blast.

Keep us informed about your recovery and please talk to us if you have questions. It seems to me that got you into trouble last time.

God Bless,

JL

Jen:

That's the show, but no, I meant Steve Landesberg. Only JL's more distinguished.

-ol' 2long

JL, unfortunately it's no longer safe for me to "work things through" on MB.

I can safely say though that I want us to be married and happy and to be that "sexy middle aged couple" you used to talk about.

I am so sorry that you feel that way Jen...I hope you will reconsider...Your warts are no uglier than any of the others here...

Though, there is part of this that I really do understand, there are some things that are dark...things that exist in the recesses of a FWSes mind...things that would be close to impossible to share here in this environment...especially when much gets lost in the written word...I share those with Mr. W, can you do the same with Rob? It is my opinion that it is crucial that you do, for both you and Rob...

Anyway, thinking of you and wishing you well...


Mrs. W

Mrs W, I meant that this is where I used to work everything through, knowing that Rob wouldn't hear about my "processes".

Now, I think that it will be passed on to Rob.

I WILL share all the "processes" with Rob but I would prefer it to be on my own time.

Very smart decision KiwiJ . . . Don't ever post anything on this site that you don't wish to be relayed to your husband . . . it has already been proven that some here have a burning desire to "help" your marriage.

Yes it has been proven that some people have no compassion for the victims of adultery. Sadly.

It has been proven that some people have little regard or foresight for what their "moral" meddling will cause.

OMG I knew it would be someone else's fault than the adulteror.

OMG I just knew that someone would say that that it wasn't the person's fault that fired the rifle . . . it was the bullet that killed him.

**thud**

**dud**

Oh dear, so now exposure to a victim is "moral meddling?" What a surprising thing to hear on a forum that ADVOCATES exposure. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I knew it wouldn't be long before you huffed on by defending your right to interfere in other people's marriages.

Exposure was for KiwiJ to do, not for you, and if you honestly look at it, it only really means anything if KiwiJ fessed up on her own and spilled the beans. You took the matter in your own hands and denied her the chance to expose this to her husband. I guess you decided that she didn’t own up to it as fast as you decided that she should, so you did it for her. Quite presumptuous of you really.


Oh well. I think that KiwiJ did learn to not post things here that she doesn't want her husband to know. I think that this is a good lesson for eveyone . . . be careful what you say on this board.

Sorry, but exposure was the obligation of WHOMEVER KNEW about the affair and I don't need to defend what was RIGHT. That is not "moral meddling" or "interference" but the moral obligation of any decent person who knows. There is not some arbitrary standard that dictates that ONLY certain people can expose. That is the domain of any person WHO KNOWS.

Nor was Jen "denied" the chance to expose to her husband. She REFUSED TO do it. And to this day says she would not have done it. She freely admits that Rob would not have been told unless I did it. [and thanked me for doing it, btw]

Jen is entirely responsible for her feelings about posting here. That is a risk you take when you have an affair and lie to your spouse. If she doesnt feel "safe" hiding things from Rob here, then that is her problem. The only reason anyone here contacted Rob in the first place is because of her affair and because she refused to tell him herself. So, the only person she should whine to is the lady in the mirror. Don't come crying to us if there are consequences to your actions.

CN, I would like to ask how you imagine her husband would know if I hadn't told him? You seem to be so obsessed with Jen's "safety" that you have entirely overlooked her victim. How, pray tell, would he know if I had not told him?

Or did he, the real victim here, even cross your mind?

"I don't need to defend what was RIGHT"

Then why do you spend three paragraphs trying to do just that?

You will NEVER KNOW if she would have exposed or not. People say things they don't mean all the time, and sometimes, MOST people realize that perhaps their prior position could have been less than optimal and may in fact change their mind. Do you ever change your mind Mel?

And you will NEVER KNOW if she would change her mind and tell him, do you? However, all the cute wishful thinking in the world did not supercede her husband's need and RIGHT to know. It matters not who told him, only that he was told.