Am fuming a bit right now. Not bad mind you, just think it's well...distasteful.

About a year and a half ago, went out with another guy I used to date. However after maybe two dates? Or three I decided to not really pursue things w/him. He was not as stable s I'd like him to be and honestly, in retrospect, saw some of the same signs in him that were in darth...and you guys know if I see any of those road signs, I will run run run away!

Anyway, I send out a mass email last night (some of you may have gotten it) announcing my exodus in two months to a new email account. My way of weaning off aol. It's a grand and huge step in my divorcing aol...lol! and I had a long relationship with them...(tear)

So I am home today w/stomach bug...yucky really. and checking finally my emails. See where I got one from this guy I'd gone out with. actually did NOT even realize he was still on my email list.

It said something to this, "Peach...sorry I havent gotten back to you...I was NOT trying to ignore you..it's just that I have a girlfriend in the last month or two and I think you know her. Just trying to show her respect that's all. Hope you are well."

WTF? How arrogant of that guy! First of all I didn't even realize he was STILL on my email list...secondly I didn't ever TRY TO CONTACT THE IDIOT...what? was he pretending to this girl that I am or something? that has me MAAAAAD.

Last time I spoke to him was six months ago when he called me...YEA, HE CALLED ME...and it was too late at night and I was zzzzz and he was out with his friends (again another red flag as it was a weeknight) having what I'd describe as a collegiate styled evening with the boys. That really solidified that I didn't want to date that guy. Drunk dialing somebody is NOT ATTRACTIVE!

I never returned the call. Not once ever. I have had NOT an ounce of desire at all.

I sometimes preach to the masses that "I will never be with somebody if I have to forever look behind my back wondering if that person is being faithful 100 percent." with that guy? Had I decided for something more with him I'd be running into stuff left and right b/c my head would be facing my [censored].

So I send the guy a quick return email. I say congrats on a gf. That's wonderful. That I didn;'t think anything about our NOT SPEAKING for so long at all. That I am too seeing somebody and wish him happiness.

I sure hope his gf sees it and knows he's blowing smoke up her [censored]. I never tried to call this geek.

Why on earth would somebody send something like that? Is the man SO ARROGANT that he thinks I would be sitting here crying my wittle blue eyes out waiting for a phone to ring? Wishin' hopin' waiting' for Mr. Oh So Not Quite Wonderful to call me? Again, the arrogance is yet another darth-ish sign too. Been there...WON'T DO THAT AGAIN.

Am almost dreading if I accidentally included anybody else? wow. This could be a really wierd email day <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

but back 2 the email. can somebody in their mid thirties TRULY BE THIS WAY? could this guy have lied to somebody who knows me and is painting wild stories about "oh peach still misses me....she really wants me back and calls me all the time" stuff? I am almost scared now. I talked 2 my best friend back home and she thinks he could totally have done that.

so ...

WHAT'S WITH THE DARN EMAIL?

incidentally, it's NOT like that guy to send out an email saying he is responding out of respect to his girlfriend. my best friend thinks something is up and that the email was either 1)generated COMPLETELY by the gf or 2)he's lying to gf and trying to make himself appear he's all that by having gf think I am fawning over him.

sometimes I don't even respond when I get emails from people I used to date if I don't feel like it. it's nobody's business WHAT I DO OR WHO I AM DATING.

I see nothing wrong with what he wrote. All he knows is that you wrote to him, and he simply responded. No big deal.

But your reaction and fuming appear to me to be somewhat over the top, and I wonder why you had such a strong negative reaction. All that stuff about "blowing smoke up her [censored]" and all the other nastiness about him seem to be totally unwarranted and a projection of your anger onto an undeserving target.

AGG

a lot of my friends forward jokes over e-mail to everyone in their distribution lists -- if you've done something like this then you have been in inadvertant, unintended contact with him all along.

From his perspective, you've been contacting him and he's been non-responsive. He appears to be worried about offending you.

And it appears that he wants you to ask more about his girlfriend with the "I think you know her" comment. Maybe he wanted to open a dialogue with you about his new GF, since it seems you know her. Maybe trying to poke your curiousity...

I think you're a little out there with all the conclusions you're jumping to. That he's somehow using you or lying to his girlfriend...not sure how you got all that out of the little paragraph he sent (??)

I wouldn't get so worked up over it -- you handled it fine if you aren't interested in having any conversations with him!

Ok AGG....really....

every time you post to me it is negative. I am asking for thoughts.

I ran in a very small social circle back home. that is my concern.

It is wierd when somebody you haven't spoken to in six months...had a real convo with in over a year or so ago...sends you something wierd like this...and then refers to my knowing somebody? my best friend thinks he has lied about something.

it is because of our small social circle back home of friends from a specific college that it made me mad. and yes, my present bf and all people in that social circle went to same college...

Now Agg...my doing something "over the top" would have been sending back, firing a nasty email at him or something, which I did not. sent a carefully worded email reaffirming my having had NO contact with the guy in quite sometime but wishing him well.

somebody sending out a mass email announcing a new email addy is actually imho NOT even a reason for a return email at all...I get em all the time. I just take the email addy, and either delete old one or add new one. no response needed.

heck you're probably right. I am just angry as it IMPLIES that I've contacted or attempted to contact him and he's ignored me. My best friend T believes it does 100 percent.

One other note...I do not post my emails here as i do post anonymously on this board. Not putting the entire email out here, might show a teeny bit less wording which does in fact show he implied that fact.

no biggie. It just makes me wonder about this guy...if he's been out there, among alot of my friends back home with whom I am in contact with ON A REGULAR BASIS (unlike that guy) and he's telling them lies about me. My bf's brother is also living back home in our big giant mayberry of a town, and I don't want any stuff stirring any pots. I am just a gal who says it like it is.

ahhh -- I see what you mean by "implies contact".

If this is just between you and him, I wouldn't worry about it. But if he's showing this to others or giving others the idea that you're chasing him, thats icky!

I think your response shuts him down pretty good -- but unfortunately he's the only audience for that. There's no real way for you to know what he's said to anyone.

JP -- From what you shared here, I'm with AGG, I see nothing wrong with the guy's email either. I see no implications. Your reaction seems over the top to me too. Take it for what it's worth, just another opinion, but you might want to consider it.

I personally am a lousy email pal, I handle mass emails like you do - make a note if noteworthy and rarely respond. Many people are a lot more courteous than me, no doubt about it. Maybe that guy is one of 'em.

well sadly, I k now this guy well. he is not an email guy at all. I dated him for a year and a half. he was the last guy before darth. so I know his character...and yes, his darth-ish signs.

his implications are clear. he's implying to folks I've chased him. WRONGO...and I am somewhat scared he is gonna say it to the WRONG person...such as somebody who knows my bf or bf's brother or some of my friends and it gets back to bf. I haven't talked to this guy in a while. and yes...bf was on that email list too...as he can't NOT have my email could he <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

lexxy, you're right...he probably has shown it to her. and there is also something disconcerting too....my best friend T just called me...she said "ya know peach...this whole thing about "and you know her" stuff, it is wierd...very unlike this guy (she knows him well too)..."

she is worried he is dating monkeyho. as this girl tried quite a while back to actually go as far as corner this guy at a party to ask him about me and my xh and the like...and wanted to date this guy too. He actually called me to tell me this about 8 mos. ago...like I cared? but all I found out was she was seeing my xh again..and their adultery was still on. she's evil and very toxic. again, he has some similar characteristics to darth. it WOULD scare me that if they dated...why? both have had interests in other parties...such as ME and in my XH. Just simply, it would be TOO DARN WIERD.

it's just the whole "I am dating somebody you know" thing that wierds me out. why even include that? and why even be secretive? if he's dating somebody I know, he could blurt right out and say, well Peach, I am dating Jane doe and you know her and it's just right to be respectful. I'd be totally cool with that. It was the WAY IT WAS WORDED...again, which I did not post the email in its entireity here for my protection and anonymous=ness (is that such a word? lol)

Oh well. I am not gonna worry about it unless I see more smoke...no worries folks.

just did my .02 to stomp out a potential fire.

why is it us girls CARE ABOUT WORDING?

incidentally guys...hope this gives you a teeny bit of insight into us. If you do take the time to give us an email, be up front...don't be secretive or imply anything or else we'll run with it...lol

The more I think about it, the more I think he WANTED you to aks more about GF.
You are probably right about who it is.

Of course he would want to talk to you about it -- just like she's probably talking to Darth about it. They need your (and Darth's) interest to keep their spark going. Very typical WS kind of behavior.

He's the one who disappeared on you all the time, right? He has a LOT of WS traits.

You have very effectively shut down the communication. Too bad he has your NEW e-mail...

and I can hit the IGNORE BUTTON...

oh wait! lexxxy...I don't have an ignore button on my computer. guess I just ignore him!

but I think the secretiveness of it has the STENCH OF MONKEYHO! my best friend does too.

I will not in any way respond to it. not at all. I will not feed his ego or his drama. but it would be a total nightmare if both of them got together. TOTAL AND COMPLETE. then it would elevate to some sophomoric soap opera level...

oh wait! I have the ignore button don't I!

You know...I could become a rich woman just by inventing it...the ignore button...you put it on your computer...and you hit it when you want to ignore somebody. it doesn't do anything...it just makes you feel better <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

NOW NOBODY STEAL MY GET RICH QUICK SCHEME OK?

any body wan a bi-dness partner? (that's how ds says business...he says it bid-ness. lol)

Hehe, guilty. OK, I'll rephrase my thoughts in a positive way - I think the guy's e-mail was fine.

But, you have really lost me now - is this a guy you went out with a couple of times, or a guy you dated for one and a half years? You seem to refer to him both ways... Maybe you are typing faster than I can read, but in all the hoopla and conspiracy theories, I think something is getting lost...

AGG

VERDICT IS IN! WAS RIGHT...well almost.

He emails yet again..can't seem to let it die.

and the girlfriend?

she was in my sorority at college...and she is VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MONKEYHO.

that explains it all.

wow.

i should work for the fbi. or be on 24. maybe i should become prez of the "national conspiracy theorists international"...lol

but i wuz right.

knew something didn't feel right about it. just didn't sit well. this is also a girl who used to be all up in my face about things. very nosy girl...and incidentally who looks sorta like me...but different.

she is "possible psycho" type persona...had very volatile relationships in past...and is best friend of monkeyho.

can we say she is a tad disturbed?

yup....he sent his inoccuous little e-mail hoping to provoke you to QUESTION him about who his GF might be. Simply because he wanted to talk about it!

Aren't you so glad you are rid of him???

I'd be willing to be that back when you were dating him he was doing this same sort of thing. Telling people who he was dating -- just to get a reaction.

Sounds like someone who needs attention and ego-strokes.

what is disturbing lexxxy is that this girl he's seeing is somebody who is very very good friend of the woman who destroyed my marriage...one of the two that helped. and one who is still having an affair with my xh. she is evil beyond evil!

this girl...is also all about getting in my stuff. both are apparently. he sent email asking "who is it you're seeing? I told you who I was?" I did not reply.

I see it as some people who are very very bored...who would like nothing more than to cause trouble with people who are happy...and I am happy.

I didn't question him at all. and I didn't stroke any ego of his. sure she may LOOK LIKE me...and we may have been in same sorority and we BOTH WERE up for collegiate homecoming queen one year apart as we were both our sorority's nominees...but I am not f'd up and I haven't cheated on my xh and I am not best friends with a homewrecking beeeaoootch. We are worlds apart.

If this is his lame [censored] attempt at jealousy, he's gotta work harder than that. I pity the man who allows such a woman into his life. and I pity the man ( channeling Mr. t here ok?)who has such low self esteem he has to LIE to parties to bump up his ego...

what's sick?

it would appear that he's made it seem to THIS HORRID AND TOXIC WOMAN and her HORRID AND TOXIC FRIEND that I have chased him. that's what got my goat. last women in the world I want having ANY KNOWLEDGE of me at all.

I don't want any dealings with either that girl or monkeyho. I want them gone. for the last year and a half, monkeyho has maneuvered herself to somehow FIND OUT what's going on in my life...all my friends back home hate her guts...and think it's b/c she is afraid 1)I am still single, thus a threat to her deluded ideas/ideology regarding darth being her soulmate and 2)that I get all the good guys.

geez I am glad I live in atlanta. and i am glad bf lives in nashvegas. He'd tell them to bite him. he knows all of them also. I am NOT mentioning any of this to bf.

but yes, it is sad what has apparently happened. He's lied to make himself more attractive to a woman who is out for my blood...by making it seem I chased him.

makes me think him pond scum. or better yet, POND SCUM EXCREMENT.

He's about to be in for the freak show of his life with that girl and her best friend. Mazeltov dude ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Sounds like he thrives on these little dramas.
I think you were very smart not to let him get involved with who you are seeing. Its none of his business, and you know straight where that info is going....

I wouldn't communicate with him any further.

[color:"red"] got drama? [/color]


Honestly, would it have hurt any to NOT respond to him in any way? Your first email to him was an oversight. Your second email to him (and any further communication) is an intentional attempt to continue the cycle.

Use the delete button. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

thank you...wanna invest and be a silent partner in my bid-ness? the development (and it's a huge scientific breakthru) of the IGNORE BUTTON.?????

could solve all our $$$ problems..and our mental ones too.

I didn't send any other response, other than one where it says that I am glad he is well after NOT talking in SOOO long...so it gets back to those addicted to the soap opera.

me? I just want them away! gone.

you'd think seven hours' drive would dissuade some people in forgetting that I exist. sure wish they would.

but yea...HE'S GOT DRAMA. they've all got it. and it's sad.

oh well. my old hometown is really like a giant huge mayberry. many in our old circle have moved away (the smart thing to do)..and those left are mostly married...but those still remaining single? that's why it's so terribly gossippy.

It sure does <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />.

AGG

uh...and that would mean? sorry, but I don't hear what "eyes rolling' means dude.

i have refused to respond to him/them anymore. so their soap opera continues but only in tn.

If you just converted to the internet provider I think you are using, the next time you get an email from him (hopefully you won't - but if you do), select the address to be considered JUNK and you won't even get his messages in the future.