if he is serious about wanting to make the marriage work, have his cell number changed so she can't call him. If it is a work cell, can you have hur number blocked so she can't call the cell?

You really need to find and expose. Call the gay bar and ask for him.

You need to expose more- his family? the new pastor? other good friends from church?

Inaction is getting you now where- it is time to act.

I will have to call to see if I can get her number blocked.

Last night he asked me why I haven't exposed to more people, I told him that part of me wants to protect him. Plus its no something I'm proud of.
I asked how many people has he told he said none, he says he has nobody to tell.

I don't know her husbands name plus cross dressers change there names when they are in drag.

Talked to WH yesterday. He told me alot of what I said makes since, but he needs time to process it all.

How long do I give him?

WH is the king of procrastination.

HELP

So your info on OW's marriage is all through OW? Would you believe OW about anything? She and your WH are having an affair...right now...as long as there is contact...in person or not, then the affair continues.

You were honest...you don't want people to know...partially to protect him and part to protect you...from what? Not exposing protects the affair, adds you to a conspirator and helps it to continue...sounds like your WH knows he's addicted to the A, to contact...would you keep covering for a drug addict, to protect them and you?

Did you thank your WH for being honest...and yourself for asking for honesty? You fear a lot...fearing truth cripples our lives if it keeps you from knowing the reality of your situation...stay strong and honest...both ways...asking for truth and giving your own.

How long do you give WH to stay addicted? Does that make sense? If you want to help your WH, save your marriage, or at the bare minimum, stay honest with yourself...you must expose to everyone...do a reverse look up on OW's phone number...get the street address...as WH to take you by where she lives, where they meet...get the information to really expose this to HELP your WH and your marriage.

You can do this. I don't like being right, btw...I would much have preferred your WH was in withdrawal with a great attitude...not still addicted...when do you start MC?

Would you call yourself the queen of procrastination on exposure?

LA

So many question.

Yes, everything I know is through OW. I don't believe anything she says. When I talked to her on D-day she told me she would end it with my H and told H that she would not call him or answer the phone if he called her that was a BIG FAT LIE. Two weeks later she called WH. She told WH on D-day that I sound like a really nice person. GEE thanks but it did'nt keep her from calling my H.

No, I wouldn't keep cover for a drug addict I would get him into rehab (to bad they don't have rehab for WS) but I wouldn't tell everybody either.

I've told him I need total honesty but sometimes its to honest.

We have been in MC since 3 days after D-day.

Sometimes I wonder whats the point when we don't leave together. And when she gives us homework husband dosen't do it.

Yes, I am the queen of procrastnation when it comes to exposure. The people I have exposed to he just avoids.

On the up side WH was off this weekend and he spent most of it with us. He and I play cards (something we use to do all the time) he asked me why we stopped playing.

The more i thought about it all the things we enjoyed doing we stopped doing. Part of the problem I'm sure.

Have a great day.

HELP,

I'm having a really bad day WH fog talk is really getting me down.

Last night he told me that he can't trust himself and taht he can't come home until he feels that he won't do this again.

He says he dosen't what to hurt me anymore.

By the way his back in NC. I asked him if he would be willing to write a NC letter. He said he didn't think that was a good idea, because he can't promise me that he would not call her.

I know I should ask him to read SAA but it tells about plan B and I may still need to use it.

Should I let this stop me from giving it to him?

I'm not sure that he would even read it.

Once the A is over.

How long on the average will it take for WH to see a furture wih me?

Update WH says he's in NC that he has removed OW's name,number and pictures from cell phone. I checked his phone and they are gone.

I have a question.

Is it wrong for me to ask him about NC?

He told me that he would tell me if she calls him but there has been to many lies to believe that he would.

He needs to be an open book- you have every right to ask.

I ask.

This week he had to get up early and go to work. I asked if he had re-installed chat on his computer- he assured me he had not. I'll verify that next time I am at his office. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

He doesn't mind as he is trying to be as open as possible.

can you follow his cell bill?

I can follow the cell bill. but its a month behind.

His been kind of distant I don't know if thats withdrawl or guilt because he is talking to her again.

can you not access it online? Ours on cingular shows up just a couple of hours later.

I suppose you could ask and then judge hie reaction as to truth telling.

ours is verizon. online I can tell if a call has been made or recieved but not who the caller was.

Any answers to this question would be greatly appreciated.

What is the hardest week for WS's once they have went into NC?

Just checking on you.

I think everyone is different as to what withdrawal is like.

Hopefully, things are on the ay up for you.

Ok here's the latest.

OS left for a youth mission trip on Friday.

OS had asked WH to spend the night Thurs. SO OS could spend so time with his Dad before he left WH told him that he would. Thursday night when we were dropping off OS things at the church he told our son that he wouldn't be staying the night because he forgot his clothes. Son was upset by this.

After my son's went to bed WH called and said he would be over to stay the night after all. I told him that the boys were already in bed and that the reason OS wanted him to spend the night is because he wanted to spend so time with him, so WH said maybe he shouldn't come over then I told him to come then he would be there in the morning to take our son.

When he got there he was acting funny he kept taking deep breaths I asked him if he was alright he said no I asked did he want to talk about it he said no so i let it go.

The next morning we took son to drop him off. On the way home I asked WH if he wanted to talk he told me he was having a hrd time, I asked if he met with NC he said he needed to handle it by himself.

So we got back to the house and he wouldn't talk to me the he just left ( this was at 7am) told me he would call me later.

Have to take care of something I will be right back

OK so then he dosen't call all day Fri. or Sat.

Sunday morning I'm in the bathroom getting ready for church there is a knock on the bathroom door and WH tell me that he's there I'm like whats up with that. I haven't heard from him in two days and he just show up. Ok so we go to church. Sunday was YS b-day.

Boss just came in will be back later

you might have asked him "having a hard time with what"?

(ie: being there, being with you, being in the house.. ??)

this does not require "talking about it", but still gives some measure of increased communication, that could be useful to you.

ok,I'm back for now.

So after we came back from church I asked him why he didn't call for 2 days. He said he had been stressed out about work so then I asked about NC he said he still hasn't talked to her. I am having ahard time believing him. But the strange thing is his is talking about things happening in the furture. Since all this has happened he has avoided any furture talk hes's been taking one day at a time. But yesterday he talk about years down the road.

What do you guys think about this?

I try to keep my hope up. But it's hard after everything that has happened.

Ok now I'm freaking out, WH called me a couple of hours ago. While I was on the phone with him it sounded like he was getting a call I asked him who was calling he said nobody. So now i'm thinking it might have been her. Should I ask him about it and tell him how I fell. Or do I let it go I don't want to LB.

HELP