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PS

wanted to add

this unveiling of adultery needs to be done slowly, as a process with your sons & with your daughter too

does your daughter KNOW that she has brothers & that you are a married man?

HOW you do this is very important.... because

your children must respect you ... so behave in ways that are respectable <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

when they are teenagers ... they will use this against you ... so be honest, and live like a married man who respects his wife, from this day forward.

give them less ammo to shoot at you when they are in those fun teen years ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Pep

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I honestly don't see anyone raining on your "parade".

I wish that you could see beyond yourself in any of this.

I keep your family in my prayers.

Eibrab

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your children must respect you ... so behave in ways that are respectable

when they are teenagers ... they will use this against you ... so be honest, and live like a married man who respects his wife, from this day forward.


YES YES YES!

If there is ONE thing I want for the kids (all of em) to understand is that REAL ADULTS WHO LOVE THEM will work through their issues. That is the only way to come out of it with a modicum of respect....and we're gunning for more than a modicum.

As for your dw, nurture the heck out of her right now. I'll tell you her tummy is in some major knots. That'll go a long way for HER lb...

- Kimmy


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
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This friday however, I think I am just going to let them be kids and play.


and when your sons hear the little girl call you "Daddy" ... and ask you "Why is she calling you daddy, Daddy?"

....

just be the boy scout ~~~> prepared

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Unless you sired some dumb kids <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ... they are gonna be asking you some tough questions before you know it !!!

SO think about & prepare your responses ... as a matter of fact ... ask your WIFE for her input.

Pep

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oh

and kids are going to display sibling rivalry

have you thought about that?

when DD wants to sit on your lap ... the boys might want to shove her off & sit there themselves ..

see

"fantasyland" is not where you live ... kids playing happily ... expect them to behave like normal kids & torture each other !!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> LOL

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Eibrab,

Quote
I honestly don't see anyone raining on your "parade".

I wish that you could see beyond yourself in any of this.

I hoped that the "parade" statement would be taken with some humor. It really was meant to be light hearted. Thats what the :-) (smiley) is all about.

I have a good deal of respect for Peeper and Faith.
It has been a while since I have been really happy about something. Just wanted to share it.

Do apperciate the prayers, they are always welcomed and needed.

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"peeper"

BWHAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

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this puts a lot of points in the LB

what points have you put in her LB recently?

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I thought I was going to leave.

I feel so bad for your W besides having to deal with the pain, but also having to deal with that fear. you might have not said the words but the threat is on your mind and SHE DOES pick up that feeling.


When you learn to forgive someone who has really hurt you and forget the wound that they have caused, then you truly love that person.
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Oh and TH, so you don't send your OW withdrawl back to day one please be certain she is not going to be there. Hon, withdrawl is ******..don't put yourself back in it. As pep mentioned, do some prep work for both the boys and your DD. It does not have to be anything long at this point except that they are going to meet their sister. It would be great for your boys if mommy could be there too.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Sorry Pepper,

What do you exspect from a computer geek? That I can type AND spell! :-) Not in this lifetime :-)

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BTW, I am happy for your progress.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
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YEZZZZZ

maintain NO CONTACT

or we will torture you endlessly

Peeper

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Yeppers, make it clear to OW that she is no way involved in this visit. She has no business intruding on a family thing cause she is NOT part of the family. And that will put a stop of any trust with your wife if she is ..... knowing or didnt know she will be there.... it is your job that you stick to your end..... NC!!!!!

Another prep work you should be ready for is if the boys figure out that this has hurt their mommy, they will turn against you.... as a mother of 3 boys I know they will stand by and protect their mom first. Even over their dad. Another good reason to have mom on your side to face this when it comes


When you learn to forgive someone who has really hurt you and forget the wound that they have caused, then you truly love that person.
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Thunder,

You are right about the boys protecting mom. I would do the same thing if my DAD had done what I did. I will keep that in mind.

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Fix the marriage ... your kids will respect that strength & courage

THAT is being a GREAT Dad to all your darlings ... lead by example (a new example, not the one so far <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> )

and take your wife on NON-KID dates ... YEZZZZZZ .... date your wife.

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Mr T

if you hit on the "reply" link on the previous post (instead of just going to the quick reply box already there)

you can use all the <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> and the <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and the <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> and the <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Geek heal thyself !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pep

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I like the :-) smiley face. ;-)

People just need to tilt thier head to the left a little bit.

Ok, so I am old school.

So you think Superman movie can count as a "chick flick" movie to take the wife too? :-)

I was looking forward to taking the boys to see the flim. But after seeing the trailer, I thought, no way! I was really disapointed.

It's one thing to throw bus and trucks around, but this one seems to be a bit to violent. Nothing I will take my 3 and 6 year olds to.

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GREAT kid movie

Over The Hedge

Mr Pep & I took our kids & they loved it ... as did we.... and our babies are 16 & 20

LOL

seriously

a fun family movie that ADULTS can enjoy

but on a DATE with your woman ~~~> go to dinner & then go to a jazz club ... this lets her get all dolled up for you ...

and you get all dolled up for her too

OK, if you don't like jazz, any live concert will be fine ... our first recovery big "date" was to a Santana concert... awesome way to fill my (at the time) empty love bank

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Jazz concert, that is a good idea. They have a club in Seattle that is good. I will look that up and see what is playing.

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