I thought this was a place for help but nobody has ever been nice to me just go back to your parties and your silliness.There has to be a place where people who want to change can go and be treated with a little respect.Shes crying for help and nobody hears.I can relate to her but I guess Im the only one and we dont count because we made some mistakes.Good luck with your new girlfriend!

so, a few messages where she comes on here and tries to use my sign on... gets aggravated because she is not getting the responses she wants... and all of a sudden you think you know her... perhaps if she really wanted to change, her family, her friends and her son would be the first in line to help out. I have known this woman for 14 years and her actions have always been centered on "what's in it for me?" She does count... she counted for years and still does. But when she comes here.. not looking for help with herself... but as means to get me back because I have found someone else... that is manipulative. Her mistakes were forgiven and she has the potential to heal... now she only needs to take the steps to do so. If she came here looking for help with her she would have found it.
Please don't suppose to know anything about my situation when you didn't even know that I was the BP and not the WP.

Now, what is going on with you Spectacles? You say no one has been nice to you... how so?
Are you a BS or a FWS?
Have you ended all contact with the OP (if you are the FWS)?
Why do you feel you are here on MB?
What would you like to get out of this experience?


edited to read... see below.

"Spectacles is here to stalk onlyhuman.

She is his FOW.

All of the posts I have seen from her are an attempt to breach NC...not to recover her own marriage. "

I checked your posts and found out a bit about you. If you are serious about wanting help... I suggest that you either seek out the help of some here that can help you. Melody Lane comes to mind. But after reading your posts I am suspect of your motivations on this board. I really don't need the drama right now. I truly wish you the best and think that you should find another forum where your FOM is not already a member. Your being here is disrespectful to the concept of NC. The N stands for NO. I wish you well.

I came here yrs ago when I was having an affair with another mb poster -I brought him here I posted about our affair ,stupid I know and I was flamed and stopped posting but we continued to read so we
could have a happy m when we got divorced and re-m.He came back here yrs later and started posting and he didnt give the whole story so it made me look bad.I want to tell my side -it wasnt all my fault I think I should have the chance to set the record straight.He wont post to me so its not a problem with us arguing on here if he has a problem with it he can wait and post in a nice way.I think it will help me heal do you understand? I was the ws -the other woman.I divorced and remarried
somebodyelse.I posted as a bs to get his attention because I knew he would know the situation but he didnt read it and he called me a few months ago and I confessed.I dont want to cause him trouble
that part of my life is over.I just want to tell my side.

What part of extraordinary precautions for NC don't you understand?
You want to tell your sdie to set the record straight. For whose benefit? Your allegience to your current H should preclude you from being anywhere around your FOM... no matter who was at fault.
The fact that you came here previously, by your own admission, with deception shoots your credibility in the foot.
So, no, i do not understand how this will help you heal. I think you are using this forum as a way to keep your presence in his life known... and for you to have some perverse way of knowing what is going on in his.
Again.. why the NEED to tell your side to complete stranges who by you own account have not been nice to you. I am worried about your mental health. Please seek help.

if you really want help from a MB poster... find a woman here that will be willing to email with you back and forth. I also suggest calling the Harleys and see what their take on your situation is. Best of luck to you

Spectacles,

Ok, tell your side and be done with it.

We don't really need to hear it, but if it's for your personal growth I'll be willing to listen.

We don't really need all the details of your adultery. We just need the details about how you are going to support NC and move on with your life.

Details about how you are going to better yourself through hard work would be nice to hear too.

What ever the details of your involvement with FWH don't matter at this point in time as he has wholly rejected you and moved on with his life.

It's time you did the same.

Plank.

Spectacles - there is such a place. I'm wondering if it would mean anything to you to know where it is, though.

On the offchance that you might possible see these "mistakes" you keep talking about for what they really are...sin, I will tell you where "that place" is. It is in surrendering one's life to Jesus Christ as one's personal Lord and Savior. A group of such people are very forgiving and respectful of repentant sinners....they can be found in a place called "church."

But as long as "me" sits on the sovereighn throne of one's life, they will do as they please regardless of "right and wrong" and regardless of the "mistakes" and who they might hurt.

If you truly want THIS marriage to be your "marriage made in heaven," why not consider the truth about who Jesus Christ really is?

You can't "undo" the past, but you can become a "new creation" in Christ and start a "new life" today. Saul/Paul did it, Charles Colson did it, you can do it to...if you really want the help and answers you seem to be seeking.

FH - regardless of whom you're addressing, will you PLEASE cut this crap out?

Will you PLEASE stop spewing that it's YOUR way or chaos?

I ask because what you're saying is that if folks don't adopt your narrow view of the universe that means they're totally selfish and devoid of ethics and morals.

Obviously this isn't true.

You do yourself and your faith a HUGE diservice by continuing to act so narrow minded, arrogant and intolerant.

To the vast majority of people, it's not black and white, with me or against me, in or out, my way or the highway.

There are many, many, many, many - very many - maybe most people on this rock - who don't share your view of the origin of their morality, yet know very well right from wrong, good from bad, etc., etc., etc., and do not, as you say, simply "do as they please."

Please stop.

WAT

WAT... that is what you had to offer here???? A slap on the wrist for FH??? Any words of wisdom for Spectacles? I mean, really, you know FH and his approach to things... it is his way... and a lot of people here accept him and welcome his approach. I have had my own battles with FH in the past... but I have come to accept him for who he is... as he has me. But to limit your response to slamming FH here was ridiculous in my opinion.