Wow. Can I just say I LOVE my co-workers. I had one call yesterday offering to help me get airline passes b/c her BIL works for a major airline. Another called tonight to say they're taking up a collection at work to help us get up there, plus her mom called Salvation Army b/c she heard they help people get to places in a hurry for funerals. Did you know they have that service? I'll find out more about it tomorrow. Apparently I have to go to DFACS for it.

Yep, DD and I are anything but alone...

HOly moly. My aunt was checking out Mom's laptop yesterday and found a letter Mom had written to all of us "just in case" she didn't make it through a surgery she had in November. I bawled my brains out reading it last night. It spelled out financial stuff and some very touching sentiments. I am so very grateful she did this for us and will treasure it always.

I had planned to go back to work today, but after that, I figured I'd take today, too. Needed some alone time. So I took DD to the sitter and just got back from a hair appointment. First haircut I've had since October.... my hair feels so much better! Next, it's on to a nail salon for a manicure/pedicure, which I only ever do when I'm upset and need some pampering... may as well make a day of it.

SM...that is so touching...your Mom leaving that message.

{{{SM}}}

I'm so sorry for your loss and what you are still going through with your XH. I'm glad that your mom wrote something to all of you - I'm sure that will be a tremendous emotional support to you and DD. I live in the Chicago area. If you need any help (e.g. a place to stay), please let me know.

Milk

{{{{{{{{{{{SM}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I have been off the boards for a while and just read about your mom. You and DD are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim

It's so good to hear that your mom wrote you something. I think I will do that for my boys, just in case. I have all of my financial stuff in a fire box that they know about, but no personal stuff.

She also wrote journals for each of us when we were little, which were precious anyway, but will be even more so now. I was reading through mine a year ago and came across an entry written by my dad, who passed away in Jan 2004. That was an amazing find.

I need to get back into writing in DD's journal I started for her. I haven't written in there for months, not since I had to turn over all my journals for the discovery part of the divorce (which we didn't actually give to WH, btw).

I had a pretty decent "alone" day. Went to a fancy salon and got a new haircut, then went for a manicure and pedicure. In a way, the mani/pedi was in honor of Mom. When she was in the hospital, I told her that when she got better, we were going to go to a nail salon for some girl time.

The freakiest thing happened tonight as I was getting DD ready for bed. I was rocking her in the rocking chair in her room before I put her in her crib, and all of a sudden, she started waving and said an enthusiastic "hi!" toward the corner of the room. She did it twice, so I asked her if she saw Grandma and she replied, "gaga. Hi!" and waved at the same spot.

I don't know if that's what it really was, but I'd like to believe it was. After I put DD in her crib, I went out to do the dishes from dinner and cried at the sink. Called Bro2, but of course he doesn't believe stuff like that. Called aunt, and she was absolutely convinced. Her daughter pointed and said "papa!" one day in her high chair right after my grandpa died.

Does anyone else have stories like this?

Dear SadMommy,

I have had some experience with what you describe (your DD waving to someone in the corner of the room). Anyone who ever had such an experience him- or herself will believe you or at least think it's possible. Anyone who never had such an experience will be sceptical, of course, as such things are not a part of our culture and upbringing.

I myself have had the "visit" of several persons a few days after they died. I didn't actually see anything, just felt a very strong presence. It felt like they came to say goodbye to me. It never happened when I expected it to, just completely out of the blue.

Most people think I'm a nut when I talk about these things, so I do so rarely. If you would like to talk about it you can e-mail me at britfrombelgium@hotmail.com

In any case I hope this presence can be a comfort for you in these difficult days.

((((SadMommy))))))

Hey, Brit. Thanks for sharing that. It seems like many people on my mom's side of the family have had similar experiences through the years. I have always wanted it to happen to me. I remember when Dad died, how much I hoped to have some kind of feeling of a presence b/c I missed him so much.

My aunt told me a few days ago that "you better believe that DD will be able to see her." Then she told me about what happened with my cousin when she was a baby.

My dad died when I was ten. I was the biggest Daddy's girl in the world!!! He died at home but was taken to the hospital to be pronounced dead. Anyway, on the way to my sister's home from the hospital, I was lying in the back seat, looked up, and he was sitting beside me.

My sister also had such an experience in the middle of the night. She and her H were fighting and she was sitting on the couch in the living room. He sat beside her.

I know you must feel like your entire world is coming apart... it is!!! But, you will make it through and life will improve. It's something I try to remind myself of a lot.

(((((SadMommy05)))))

I am deeply saddened to hear of your loss.

Prayers for you during this time of deep sorrow.


A request, too, if you feel up to it.

Would you send me an email at mbforeverhers@yahoo.com and in that email tell me your real first name?

I have something that I'd like to send to you and personalize with your name. It has been a great comfort to my wife since my sister gave it to her after the death of her mother.

God bless.

Well, I went back to work today. Figured it'd be a good day to do it, b/c we're off tomorrow. It was really quiet... hardly anyone was there, which was good, since I couldnt really concentrate anyway...

On the way home, Bro1 called to ask about the life insurance. Said he didn't think he'd be able to make it until he got it b/c he's had to take off work for bereavement and whatnot. Good grief.

One thing after another, right? I would think the life insurance would come quickly.

Hope you are feeling okay. Glad you went to work.

Hi, I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. I'm still thinking about you. I lost my grandpa on Good Friday and I still find it hard sometimes. Him and I were close. I lived with my granfparents a few years growing up. My favorite thing was laying in bed with him and reading the Bible, so when he passed I asked my grandma for his Bible! Same thing with my brother, so she's going to find one for him too. It's always the little things that matter the most. I still remember, so clearly, doing homework with him, and so many other things.

I wish the best for you and DD in your new life together. I'm sure that the two of you will be find! At least you have friends here you can turn to when you need to talk.
Try to have a great day, I bet you feel a world of difference with a new haircut. I shaped mine up yesterday and feel really good about it! Hurray for someone else washing your hair!

That's a sweet memory of your grandpa, NC.

Talked to my aunt last night. We're going to shoot for next Saturday for the memorial service, and then the one in PA will be very close after that. Sheesh, I am so not looking forward to all the driving. Maybe my coworker can swing us airline discount passes like she thought she could.... I HAVE to drive to PA to go through Mom's things, since I'll be bringing a lot of things back. But IL... maybe we could get away with flying. Sure would be easier with the kiddo in tow to do it that way...

Well, I hope you get the opportunity to fly also. H and I just got back Sat., left Wed., six hour drive to check on FIL in hospital. FIL got out, now MIA, (not surprising)probably at GF's House, that was a drive I could have done without. So, needless to say, I feel for you. Of course, we came home with a new Harley in the back of the truck, which we had no intentions of buying. You know, just went to look! LOL Now, I get to learn how to ride the other one. Hoping to be riding by myself in a few weeks! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Just checking in... I know it's been a while. I haven't felt the need to post b/c things have been pretty quiet on the XH front. No new drama from him, which is nice. We put the house up for sale over the weekend.

I'm driving up to IL Thurs night with DD and Bro1 for the memorial service on Saturday. Bro1 will be driving back home with Bro2 and Bro2's gf. From IL, DD and I will drive to PA with aunt and cousin following. We'll clean out the house, have another memorial service, and then DD and I will drive hom the following Sunday. I'm counting on being able to break the travel into two days if needed. I'm worried about such a long trip with a squirmy girl!

sadmommy,im so sorry to hear about your mom i hope your ok ?

Holy moly, I have the best co-workers on the planet, I swear. I was getting ready to leave this afternoon, and someone hands me a manilla envelope. It had a sympathy card signed by 30 people and about $400 they had collected to help with the trip. In total, that brings us to over $600 when I count the checks people have sent to the house. I am just blown away by the generosity and kindness of the people I work with. There were a couple $100 bills in there. Can you believe this?? The Lord is definitely watching out for us.

I was so overwhelmed and touched that I started to cry. I am so blessed and loved... I said a special prayer for all the people who helped and I'd appreciate if you do the same.

I'm trying to stay up late tonight so I can get a good nap tomorrow afternoon. We'll be driving all night tomorrow night. Definitely not looking forward to the drive, but we'll be OK. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

Dear SadMommy,

I'm so glad you got such wonderful support from your co-workers.
I'll say a prayer for you.. and wish you well.

Brit