It does sound good. Better at least.

I'll try to catch up on your thread, and post to you again, if that's OK.

It may take me a day or two.

SS

Thanks for the bump AmIok
Blind I'm glad it cheered you up
And SS, of course it's ok. I appreciate all the help I can get.

Well, last night was another good one. We both really enjoyed our meal. We had Chicken and brown rice with nice Spanish tangy sauce. It was yum <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I never ended up going for my walk as I got the impression from my wife that she wanted me to help her pick out some clothes for the weekend. She's a nightmare when choosing outfits and always seems to appreciate my opinion, but again it seems like a long time since this has been the case.

She asked me to go upstairs to put some music on and keep her company while she tried on clothes. Again it went very well. She was trying on all sorts and she looked great in all of them (which I of course told her) We ended up talking about music most of the time and going through some albums and songs that we had not listened to in a long time.

It felt nice when she asked me to do little things like zipping the back of her dress up, and seemed to be going for all the clothes I picked out as the best.

One disappointing thing is when she mentioned she was going out with her friend next weekend. She will be going to the club where she met OM#2. Even though I didn't say anything at first, she could see that I was upset.

At this moment, I saw her turn into the alien again in an instant right before my eyes
She said, "See, I knew you'd be upset. You can't expect me to stay in forever!!"
Me "It's not the fact that you're going out that upsets me. It's where you're going and who might be there"
Wife "Well, he hardly ever goes there, and even if he did nothings gonna happen"
Me "Look I know I can't keep you from going out......"
She interrupted me with "Dam right you can't"
Me "I'm just letting you know it upsets me because of what as happened"

She didn't respond to the last bit and we continued talking about something else. She then appeared to transform back into my wife.

The rest of the night went pretty well. We're still sleeping in separate rooms and before we went to our beds I told her that I would miss her over the weekend, to which she replied in a joking kind of manner "noooo you wont" I just said "of course I will, and I love you" Her response again in the same joking tone "noooo you don't"
I had no idea how to respond so I just wished her good night and went to bed.

This morning I made her breakfast in bed and we both chatted while eating, I then told her to have a good weekend, gave her kiss on the cheek and headed for work.

Shortly after arriving at work she came on to messenger and started chatting again. Nothing major, just some banter and jokes. But it does feel good that she actually wants to chat to me.

I still see there is a long, long way to go and as you can see she still has her fog moments. But things do seem to be getting a little better every day. Although I am prepared for things to go worse at some point.

I won't see her now till Sunday, but she is going with some of my best friends who I have known for well over 15yrs so I know she is in good hands. I sent one of them a text message this morning asking her to look after her for me, as she knows I'm very worried about her. She's done her best to avoid them since everything came out, so this will be the first time she's seen most of them.

I have a night with all the husbands and boyfriends on Saturday planned, because of course all the wives and girlfriends will be with my wife for the hen weekend, so I'm looking forward to that. Other than that I will be in the garden reading SAA while soaking up the sun. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hope you all have a good weekend!

M

Oh, and even though she has not yet committed to the marriage, I know if I keep this up that if I have to use it, my plan B will be a lot more effective.

I'm beginning feel lot more like my normal self, and I'm actually beginning to like myself again too.

All thank's to this site!

Wow,
I just read the whole thread again. You are making progress, and things ARE better than they were, but there's room for improvement.


~Disclamer~
I'm not a professional, just a fellow traveler. I'm about to give you my opinion. You can think about what I say, and if it's helpful you can use the information to help you.

~Opinion~
I think the best thing you can do now is be strong and independant.
No LB's, and meeting needs go along with this - keep doing that, but be strong and act like it.

Picture the light house.
Picture the worst storm crashing about it. The light house shines. It doesn't change it's course - it stands, and does it's job.
Because it never fails, it's a beacon for those who are lost, or in trouble.
That's what you need to be for her. We'll talk more about that.

Women don't love men they don't respect. You need to have her respect to have her love. If you change your mind and go back and forth about being with her, or getting a divorce, you loose her respect. And, you loose her love.

If you can be strong, and stand against the storm without failing she will want to be with you. It will be attractive to her.

When a women spends time with OM, what kind of exchange do you think takes place?

OM appears to be strong. He laughs, compliments her, flatters her. He doesn't argue, cry, or beg.

Part of this is only because they don't live together, don't interact except in a perfect world where they don't cope with the problems of real life.

Think on this. You need to out OM the OM.
You need to be the strong one, who makes her laugh, and lights up her life.

~ end of opinion ~


On Tuesday it was a very nice day over here, so when I got home from work I asked her if she would like to go for a walk. She didn't accept my offer so I decided to go on my own. We are surrounded by farms and lovely views where we live, so it's nice to get out and have a long walk.

YES! YES! YES !

This is good. It is strong. Do things that are good for you, that clear your head, that show you are strong. Be willing to accept input if she gives is (Yes, I am willing to walk that dirction, instead of this direction) but do things.


I spent about an hour walking and even though I was on my own, I really enjoyed it.
When I got back I told her where I'd been and what I'd seen. She seemed disappointed she didn't come along.

It's good to keep doing things like this. Things that help you think, and contribute to your quality of life. I'm glad you told her about it.

We put on a film to watch but ended up chatting most of the way through it. We even managed to have a joke and a laugh on occasion (feels like a long time since we’ve done that)

Already I think she sees you becoming stronger. I think it's easier for her to laugh and talk to you if she has respect for you. It makes more attractive to her.

Later on she began to get upset, again repeating things that I have written in the past. And asked me “Why as it taken all this for you to be how you are now?” I didn’t know how to answer this so I just apologised and told her that I was still 100% committed to our marriage. Apart from that I followed the advice given on here, so I just listened, agreed, and repeated. It seemed to go very well and we managed to get talking about general stuff and having a joke again after.

I assume she meant why did it take so long for you to start to be the man she wanted you to be?

My take on life is like this. We are born, we start learning. We learn to talk, to walk, to read, to drive. We get married, and we start learning how to live like married people. Love is part chemical, part emotional. The chemical part wears off after a while, and leaves us living with a person that is less than perfect. We learn to be married like we learn how to read. We get better and better at it. We learn bigger words, our vocabulary increases. If we are committed, and stay with it, our life becomes rich, and we grow old together. You are somewhere in the middle. There is a a lot to learn. Tell her you are learning. Tell her you are sorry you didn't know everything right up front, but you want to make it work and grow old with her.

Also tell her you can't control what she does, or what she thinks, or who she sees, but you hope you DO get to grow old with her. Tell her you are learning, and improving yourself. If she wants to stay with you, that's wonderful, and what you want, but if not, you will make it just fine, and find someone else to share with, and grow old with. Tell her you know you will be OK no matter what she does.

This (above) is part of making yourself into that lighthouse. It's re-creating yourself into the man you want to be, and the man she is looking for you to be.

There will be times when you don't feel strong.
Pretend - until it becomes reality. Act strong anyway.
Make it a game. You get points when you can act strong, even when you don't feel strong. I'm not kidding. It works.

Last night when I got home she seemed very depressed, I asked if she was ok, but she just said she was fine. I decided to do half an hour’s exercise and then made us both a cup of tea with some biscuits (How British ). We watched another film, but again ended up chatting most of the way through it.

Sometimes they want us to find out why they are feeling down. Sometimes they want to be left alone. It sounds like you did well, getting her to talk. Talking, giving her attention, listening, and being a friend without prying is sometimes the best way to go. Keep this up.

Once the film finished she asked if I minded if she went to bed, as she was very tired!! I know it's a small thing, but this is the first time she as asked me anything like that in a long time.

Ask if you can tuck her in. Then kiss her.

Tonight I'm making us both a meal, which I asked if she wanted last night, and she seemed to appreciate the offer. Again normally she would say things like "Nope I'm fine" "dunno!" "I'll make my own" "I don't want you doing things for me" So again this was a first in a very long time. After the meal I’m going to go for another walk and ask her to come along. Hopefully she will join me this time, but if not I will enjoy it anyway.

Women often won't accept things from people they don't respect. I think you are getting her respect back.

I can see she's sitting firmly on the fence right now, and I know it's up to me to gently ease her over to my side. I know I can't drag her over like I have been doing and I certainly don't want push her over to he other side like I have nearly done from time to time. I feel so much more confident about myself at the moment, and much happier for it.

One thing about a lighthouse. They have fixed positions. That is the way it has to be. What good is a light house that changes positions during a storm?

You be the example - and let her come to you. If she gets off the fence on the OTHER side, what can you do really?
Realize this, and make up your mind to be strong NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES. If it's fake, she will know it.

If you can be strong, and respect yourself, it will do wonders for YOU as well as for her.

One thing she said last night that did upset me a little was "when I go to Australia you can come visit me" I didn't react or say anything. I just carried on looking forward towards the TV. She then said "I was Joking you know?" So I just gave her a smile and began to talk about something else. Was this ok?

It's hard to always know what to say at any given moment. I would bet she is feeling you out constantly. She doesn't know what she wants, and doesn't know what she will do. I think when she says things like this - you should be honest about your feelings.
"If you move to Australia, I will probalbly divorce you, and go to spain. I'll find a wonderful girl, marry, and live out my life with her. You would be my first choice, but you have to want me, like I want you."

You can still say this - tell her you were thinking about what she said about visiting her, and tell her what you feel about it. Remember, I am giving you examples, and you have to adapt them to your style, and way of saying things.

Just remember the purpose behind them, and don't water down the message. Stand up, and tell her what you think. It will get you the respect you are looking for.

~ Recap ~
Keep in mind your goal.
1. Be strong. Lighthouses don't move about.
2. Pretend if you don't feel strong.
3. Listen to her, don't judge her, but don't accept her point of view if you don't agree with it.
4. Make sure she understands your point of view. Don't sugar coat your feelings or your resolve to stand up for yourself.
5. Always be respectful, don't use LB's when standing up for yourself.

What stands out from your reading in SAA?

SS

WOW!!!! What an absolute fantastic post SS.
Everything you've said makes complete sense! I've already read it 4 times and I will probably read it over a lot more.

I finally think I'm beginning to understand things that felt confusing at first. I get the lighthouse thing and I understand that this is not what I was last week, but I am moving towards that now.

I will talk to her when she gets back about the Australia comment and adpapt what you have said to suit me. I feel you have given me a good example on how to handle other things she has or will throw my way, so I feel much better prepared to deal with things rather than keeping quiet and ignoring it.

Even though she is away at the moment we have been in contact through text's all night.

Once again thank you SS for taking the time out to reply with such a superb post! I only wish I could do something to return yours and everyone else's kindness

Let's see how the next few days go.

I'd still like to know why she is going out to clubs without you?

SS

The reason she's still going out to clubs without me is because she's still not committed to the marriage.
I talked to her about it yesterday, again explaining that I was upset that she was going to the club where she met OM#2, that I know I can't control where she goes or who she sees but that it did upset me.
"You just want to control me! You can't expect me to stay in forever. Now you are going to go out of your way to ruin my night aren't you?"
I told her that this wasn't my intention, but I did feel that I should be honest with her and tell her how I felt about it.
"You're just trying to make me feel guilty. You KNOW the situation!"
I gave her a kiss on the cheek and went out for a walk.
I stayed very calm but I did have to fight very hard not to cry.
When I came back, she was back to normal being very nice and chatty. I gave her another kiss on the cheek as she left for work.

She as asked if the female friend she's going out with this Saturday (the same friend she was with when she met OM#2) could stay at our house overnight as she lives quite far away. I told her I didn't mind but asked where would she sleep? "She can sleep in the double bed with me" I wasn't happy about this and told her the only people who should sleep in our bed was me and her, but she just ignored my comment and that was the end of the conversation.
Now this as been bothering me ever since, as I don't believe it is right that I should stay in the spare room while her and her friend get to stay in our bed.
I would never expect her to stay in the spare room to accommodate one of my friends, nor would she ever allow it.

Should I state my boundaries? Should I try to negotiate with her? Or should I just accept it and do what she asks or even sleep on the sofa so her friend can stay in the spare room?

Other than that things are still going well, we are still spending quite a lot of time together and generally chatting and joking.

The impression I get from her, is that all she wants to do at the moment, is be friendly, for her to carry on as if she was single, and for us to act as room mates until she can make her mind up about what she wants.

I'm still going up and down with my emotions and I occasionally find myself considering going to plan B although I am getting a lot better at taking time before acting and not letting her see that I feel this way.

I'm reading SAA for the second time at the moment and taking care to study the book and not rush through it.
One of the things that has stood out from reading it, is that I now realise that some of my most important EN's have not been met in a very long time (even before we got married) I realise that I've been taking far to much blame for where we are at the moment and that we both had our part to play in all this. But there is no way she will accept this at the moment, so I wont bring it up as she is not willing to work on the marriage.

Bump

Well her female friend came back from holiday yesterday and even though she's unwilling to go out on dates with me, it's almost as if she's pressurising her friend to spend the entire weekend with her. They are going to the movies tomorrow, they are going out to THE club on Saturday and then she is trying get her to meet up on the Sunday. She works with this friend the entire week and feels the need to spend all her free time with her too. By the way I am sure she is meeting up with her and no one else. Also I'm not trying to imply there is anything other than a friendship between the two of them, I guess she's just using her to keep as busy as possible so she doesn't have to face me or her problems.

Also I feel the reason why there may have been an improvement between the two of us recently is the fact her friend has been away for a couple of weeks, and she has had no real way to escape the reality of what's going on.
As I've said before, this friend is a BS but is not fighting for her marriage and has decided to go out and enjoy the single life. In fact our problems seemed to occur about the same time her friends relationship ended, and she began to lean on my Wife. At first I encouraged WW to spend time with her, as she is a nice girl and has had to go through a lot recently. But since it began getting a lot more frequent and her's is the name that has been used when meeting/texting the other men among other lies, I find it a big trigger for me to get upset.
I know there's nothing I can do about it, but I just wanted to vent.

I find it strange that she won't go out with you, but wants to live in the same house as you.

It's not making sense to me.

If she wants to live the single live, why is she married to you.

It's true you can't control her, but she can't control you either. Why would you want to stay with someone that disrespects you like she does? This is not a "You should D her" comment, I want to understand your thoughts on it.

You should do a really good plan A for a week or two, and think about going to plan B.

SS

Well that's the point. She doesn't want me here, she want's me to move out so she can live out her single life until she makes her mind up.
I tried speaking with her tonigh before she left for work. I asked her why is she willing to go out with her friends but not me?
WW "I've told you how I feel"
Me "Well I can't carry on like this forever. I do still want to work on our marriage, but if we carry on like this we are heading for divorce. I know I will be fine if that's the way we go, and that I will probably meet someone else and lead a very happy life. But I would rather we work on our marriage"
WW "I've been telling you all along how I felt. It was you who forced this situation with you moving back in"
ME "No, it is you who is forcing this situation by acting as you are. When we got married we both agreed to spend the rest of our lives together. Nobody forced you into that, we both freely made the choice to wed"
WW "Well you know how I feel, and I'm not going to talk about it" She then walked out of the door without saying another word.
I stayed very calm throughout and didn't get upset.

I have finally decided to expose the full situation to her family. I know it may be too late, but I think she really does need some help from them. Before I do this I would like to hear your thoughts. Do I risk destroying a good plan A by doing this? Or should take the risk and do it anyway?

I agree, my plan B is going to happen within the next couple of weeks and I will see how long I can keep that up before going to plan D. I still want to work on this marriage but my feelings for her really are being affected, and I can see a better life for me without her in this current state.

I do feel I am ready for a good plan B, but I will hold out for a minimum of 2 weeks just to see if there is any real improvement. I'm not looking for much, just something.

I do feel stronger

Thank you SS


A couple more things

Should I show her family this thread so they can get a clearer picture of what we are going through?

We are meant to be going to a friends wedding abroad in a few weeks, although we will be staying in seperate rooms. Should I respectfully ask her not to attend or should I try to hold out on going to plan B till then?

Thanks again

Oh, and I have by no means given up on my Marriage. I do still really, really want it to work and I do still love my wife but my feelings for her are beginning to fade so it may be time to go to the next step.

I only wish I had found you guys last December when I started to suspect that there was a third party involved. As many people on here now know, I should of followed my gut instinct instead of ignoring it. Maybe then we could have avoided all this mess.

Oh well... we live and learn

It sounds like you did a good job in the conversation. Firm, but avoiding LB's

Exposure is part of plan A.

I don't recommend showing them this thread.

A short letter will do it for you.
Maybe you have already seen these links. Exposure 101

As far as the wedding goes. You can get one room, and tell her she can stay with you, or make her own arrangements.

"I'm not going to enable your behavior any longer. If you don't want to stay with me, it's your choice, but I have only booked one room."

Or cancel the other room, or whatever.
I don't know a lot about what is going on. If she gets angry, she could cancel your room too. You have to decide what she's capable of, and do what you think is best.

If my spouse wanted to have someone sleep with her in my bed while I was there, I would probably say "It's my bed, I'll be sleeping in it. You can sleep with me, or not - I can't control what you do."

She has a huge sense of entitelment. You don't have to agree with it, or go along with it.

Having said that, is she capable of acusing you of abuse just to get you arrested and make you look bad? It's happened before, and will happen again. Ask your lawyer how to best protect yourself.

SS

Oh - speaking of plan B, and the wedding. If you are for sure going with her, probably wait until after.

SS

Thanks again for your advice SS.

I have come to realise that I have been enabling her behaviour by giving in to her selfish demands through fear of loosing her. That is not going to happen anymore and even though the thought of divorce makes me sad, I no longer fear it.

I have finally taken the courage to expose to her sister and parents via email, and they will soon know the full situation so I will be expecting some fireworks over the weekend.

I doubt she will go to the wedding after this but even so I have decided my plan B wont start until then.

The hotel room is not a problem, as I have only booked one room and she is yet to book one for herself.

I have already moved back into the main bedroom and when she confronted me I used what you wrote to respond. She didn't have a reply so she just got into bed and went to sleep.

I doubt very much she is capable of accusing me of abuse but as you never know it could happen. So I've decided to start seeking legal advice.

I feel it's time to step up the fight, but of course I will avoid LB'ing (Although I get the impression anything I do now will be a LB to her)

So here goes......

I have come to realise that I have been enabling her behaviour by giving in to her selfish demands through fear of loosing her. That is not going to happen anymore and even though the thought of divorce makes me sad, I no longer fear it.

Many come to MB and express this fear - but think about it. You have already lost her. The thing to ask is what gives me the best chance to get her back. The answer is never "be nice to her, let her have the A and see if it will work out."

The only chance is to break up the affair(s). It also helps to be a strong person that is attractive to the opposite sex.
It may be that it won't work, we don't know for sure. You always go with what gives you the best chance, and enabeling bad behavior isn't it.

You look much stronger, and more sure of yourself. I bet you feel better now too. It goes with doing the right thing.


I have finally taken the courage to expose to her sister and parents via email, and they will soon know the full situation so I will be expecting some fireworks over the weekend.

When she confronts you you can approach it in different ways.

The serious -
"I am doing what I think gives us the best chance to save our marriage. I belive your family can help us if they know the truth about what is happening."

The humorous -
"You told me that you are not sorry for what you did. I figured if it was so wonderful, you would want everyone to know about it. You are the one who told me how great it was, why are upset your family knows?"

BTW, I only recommend the first one. The second one was for helping us all see how bad the rationalizations sound.

You would have to adapt it to your situation and use your own words.

I doubt she will go to the wedding after this but even so I have decided my plan B wont start until then.

Keep being strong. Tell her "I would love for you to go to the wedding. I enjoy your company, and it will be more fun for me if you are there, but of course, you have the freedom to do what you wish."

I have already moved back into the main bedroom and when she confronted me I used what you wrote to respond. She didn't have a reply so she just got into bed and went to sleep.

I hope this is progress. It may take a while before you know.

I doubt very much she is capable of accusing me of abuse but as you never know it could happen. So I've decided to start seeking legal advice.

It's always good to know in advance what you will do if you are falsely charged. If you have a good plan, it will only take one phone call to take care of the problem. We don't know, but the people who have reported it happening, never believed it of their WS either.

I feel it's time to step up the fight, but of course I will avoid LB'ing (Although I get the impression anything I do now will be a LB to her)

She will most likely claim everything is an LB. That's usually the way it is. One day she will probably tell you she respected you more after you stood up to her. This is usually the case too.

She may tell you there is no chance now, because of what you have done. She may say she WAS thinking about trying, but you ruined that chance. Don't take these things at face value. Watch for trends over time. You can smile, and tell her thanks for the information. Or you can frown and say it, but don't try to reason with her when she's in that state of mind. Just tell her thanks for telling you, and delay until she's in a better mood.

If she presses you, you can tell her "What you have told me is important. Your feelings are important, but I don't know how to reply right now, so I thought I would just think about it for a while, and talk to you later."

Diffuse her anger and don't directly address things she comes up when she's talking from anger and emotion. Find about 10 ways to say that same thing that sound a little different each time. It's a good tool.

So here goes......

Keep us posted. It will be so nice if she gets it, and saves herself much grief, and sorrow. It wouldn't hurt at all for you to be saved from the same. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

SS

Well here's another update

As you know, I exposed on Friday via email to her sister and parents. Obviously they are all very upset but they are being extremely supportive. Her parents are flying to the UK today and are due to come and see us on Thursday, as they wanted to speak to her face to face.

On Saturday she went out with her female friend to the club where she met OM#2. I spent most of the day with my little sister who is currently visiting from Spain so she can learn English. She doesn't know what's going on, but just her presence here has really cheered me up.

My wife rolled into the house at 5am very drunk, and singing. I asked her if she had seen OM#2 while she was out and she said no. I knew she was lying though (I have developed a 6th sense for her lies) She got into bed and began to hug me. This has not happened in a long time but if felt horrible.

Shortly after she was snoring away, I heard a text message come through on her phone. I quietly got up and removed the phone from her side, went downstairs and checked it. Of course it was from OM#2. "I had a great night tonight. You're gorgeous!!" Weirdest thing is, I wasn't upset, not even a little.
I moved the message to one of the other folders on her phone for safe keeping in case I needed it later and carefully placed the phone back to her side.

I received a text off her parents the night before asking me to ring them, so I left the house went to a car park nearby and made the call.
It was horrible! Her mother was crying which in turn made me want to cry, but I did my best to stay calm. She just kept on apologising for the way her daughter was treating me, and couldn't believe all the lies she has told. She asked me where she was and I told her that she was in bed but had only just arrived home a couple of hours ago. "Was she with him?" After I told her she was, she broke down again.

I feel so bad for putting them through this. It feels like they are having their very own D-day and that I'm the cause of it.

My WW knows they are coming over but doesn't know that I have spoken to them yet as they felt it would be better for her to believe that they where just coming over through worry and not risk her doing anything silly until they arrive.

After the conversation I went back home and got into bed. And just laid there staring at the ceiling thinking not about what my WW had done the night before, but about how bad I felt for her parents.

When she finally woke up, she rushed to the bathroom and proceeded to vomit! She came back into the bedroom looking very proud of herself (Still drunk) and being very friendly and giddy. I asked her about her night, and about OM#2 but she denied seeing him. I felt like laughing out loud (How weird) but I just smiled and said, "I'm glad"

I decided I wasn't going to mention it just yet and just act normal.

Jokingly she said, "I'm thirsty. Get me a drink [email]b@#ch!"[/email]
This was in a playful way that we used to talk to each other from time to time.
Despite what had happened the night before I went downstairs and got her a glass of milk. Again I wasn't upset or angry but very calm.
She continued the joke
"I've got a runny nose. Get me a tissue [email]b@#ch!"[/email]
I got her the tissue.
She was chatting about random stuff for about 20mins still very drunk and still very giddy.
"I'm hungry and thirsty. Make me some breakfast in bed [email]B@#ch!"[/email]
I went downstairs and made her some jam on toast with a cup of tea.

When she began to eat it I just looked at her with pity. I had never felt this way about her before but I really didn't care for her much.

I continued all day not mentioning what I had found out, but at about 7pm I felt it was time to let her know.

"I know you was with OM#2 last night"

"I wasn't!"

"I knew when I got you your milk, I knew when I brought you your tissue, and I knew when I made you breakfast in bed"

"You don't know anything"

"I agree, I don't know half of things that you have got up to, but I do know you was with OM#2 last night"

I showed no emotion whatsoever. I got up and went to bed.

She has since shown no remorse for her actions and she is now the one sleeping in the spare room (through her own choice) She still swears that she wasn’t with OM#2, but doesn’t care what I think. She doesn’t know about the text I have hidden on her phone but it’s there should I need it.

Her parents are coming over on Thursday. They will speak to her on her own in the morning and they want to see us both together after I arrive home from work.
I have no idea where we go from here or how to act on the day but I do still feel very strong and feel better for having stood up for myself.

This morning for the first time in months I had my music on full in my car and was happily singing out loud all the way to work. It felt great!!!

I KNOW I have a long and happy life ahead of me with or without my wife!

Thanks all!

I never did understand why they do it, or why they lie about it.

Glad YOU are doing better.

I suppose you can figure out when to go to plan B after you see what effect her parents have on her. Do expect her to be angry, and blame you for everything bad that ever happened. Just let it go, don't react to her.


"Whatever you think dear, and I was reading about global warming the other day, it's really interresting what is going on....."

Hope you hold up well this week.

SS

Thank you for all your help SS

I do feel stronger, and I kinda know what to expect from WW tomorrow when she finally finds out that I have spoken to her family.

I'm starting to get ready for plan B now. I'm already working on my PBL, I'm going to see a solicitor next monday, and I've started getting my finances ready.

As you said, I'm going to wait to see how things pan out for the next couple of weeks to see if exposure affects anything, but I don't hold much hope so I am preparing and feel I am ready for a dark plan B.

Ideally I would like her to move out of our home as I feel my plan b would be a lot more affective, but I don't see much chance of that so I will most likely have to stay at my parents.

One thing is for sure, she will no longer be able to continue with her current lifestyle of going out and shopping for clothes, because she hasn't been able to afford to do any grocery shopping for months and that has been left up to me.

The time for a wake up call is coming very soon.

Hey Mintol,

Just checking on you to make sure you are alright....

Regards,

BB