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I bet it is Pep, but I shouldn't have written it and I'll delete it.
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STOP deleting
own it Jen
it's real
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Jen
add something to my list
would'ja?
Pep
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No it wasn't real, it was petty and I've been a bit too petty on the board the last couple of days.
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yes that's true but own it anyway <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Ok, I own that it was a petty sarcastic thing to say but I felt strongly about it and meant it.
The list. I'm sure I'll think of something *rolleyes*
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when you are petty
what hurts?
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being petty is avoidance of being real , mostly
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... at least it is when I do it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Pep...
I like it!
It's great when we can finally hit a point where we can laugh at ourselves...it shows we've grown. If we aren't in that place yet...then we can grow simply out of spite. Not as positive, but still productive yes?
And for those who don't want to grow...find something that makes you feel good inside...then sabotage it. Great way to keep that painful cycle going.
FBW
MB'er in A recovery since Jan. '02
Married 10 yrs and managing to make it work!
2 boys...6 & 8
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I know that you wrote it because you thought it was constructive. I shared my misgivings; I think treating adults as if they are children is one of the precise reasons why I, personally, do not find it productive. I have directed many newbie marriage builders to posts that you have written that I believe are productive and helpful. Marriage Builders Forums is far too cliquish, since my goal is to spread the Harley Basic Concept wealth to as many folks as possible, but I am sometimes loathe to recommend the forums precisely because of this clique-ish-ness. I think we have similar goals, in that we both wish to see less infidelity in the world. I'm sorry you're offended, but I simply asked you to think about it. I won't be ignoring your posts. Can't do that. I find the bulk of them helpful, in spite of your tendency to cliquishness. thank you for your contibution Swords maybe try some constructive humor instead I think this is a very constructive list ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and furthermore you have no idea where I got this idea ... I was thinking about Love Medicine and Miracles a book about cancer writen by Dr Bernie Siegel ... and I was recalling when I went to hear him speak ... and he shared a list he had "borrowed" from a HIV gay man he was friends with ... and the list was "How To Get Sick and Die" ... and it listed all the stuff one could do when they are HIV positive that would virtually insure a much more rapid decline into the end stages of illness ... and I also discussed the movie Road To Perdition with my H today ... it's a very DARK movie BTW ... and I started putting a list in my head as to how to NOT survive infidelity ... like reverse psychology one uses on a little kid ... "Do not eat that carrot ... it's got muscles inside & you don't want any muscles." so guess what ... this thread was a product of my mind-droppings ... and although you have expressed your displeasure and reservations ... I simply do not care why? because it served a purpose for me to write it and if no purpose was in it for you I'm actually fine with that... do me a favor click on my name & choose the IGNORE this user feature thanks Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
[color:"#39395A"]***Well, it's sort of hard to still wonder if you were consolation prize in the midst of being cherished.***
- Noodle[/color]
Devastation Day: Aug 26, 2004
[color:"#2964d8"]"I think we have come out on the other side... meaning that we love each other more than we ever did when we loved each other most." [/color]
[color:"#7b9af7"]
~Archibald MacLeish[/color]
Very Happily Married
Me FBS - 44
Him FWS - 51
I married him all over again, May 07
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[color:"red"]And for those who don't want to grow...find something that makes you feel good inside...then sabotage it. Great way to keep that painful cycle going.
[/color]
yeah baby !!!
a good one by golly
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As for whatever KJ wrote I missed it. But who else would I be speaking of, Pep?
[color:"#39395A"]***Well, it's sort of hard to still wonder if you were consolation prize in the midst of being cherished.***
- Noodle[/color]
Devastation Day: Aug 26, 2004
[color:"#2964d8"]"I think we have come out on the other side... meaning that we love each other more than we ever did when we loved each other most." [/color]
[color:"#7b9af7"]
~Archibald MacLeish[/color]
Very Happily Married
Me FBS - 44
Him FWS - 51
I married him all over again, May 07
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You don't know me. I saved my marriage. I do not hold animosity toward people who made the mistake of cheating, but then changed and grew. I do not hold animosity toward those who were cheated on, but then forgave and grew. I have some animosity toward the others. Pep...
I like it!
It's great when we can finally hit a point where we can laugh at ourselves...it shows we've grown. If we aren't in that place yet...then we can grow simply out of spite. Not as positive, but still productive yes?
And for those who don't want to grow...find something that makes you feel good inside...then sabotage it. Great way to keep that painful cycle going. Laugh at "ourselves" ??? No, the laughing was at others. I'm not a cheater, nor am I a former cheater, so the laughing wasn't at me and I didn't take it personally. There's a bully mentality at MB and since I'm one of the BSs I could be lumped in with the bullies. Sure a certain amount of 2x4s are necessary, but less is more.
[color:"#39395A"]***Well, it's sort of hard to still wonder if you were consolation prize in the midst of being cherished.***
- Noodle[/color]
Devastation Day: Aug 26, 2004
[color:"#2964d8"]"I think we have come out on the other side... meaning that we love each other more than we ever did when we loved each other most." [/color]
[color:"#7b9af7"]
~Archibald MacLeish[/color]
Very Happily Married
Me FBS - 44
Him FWS - 51
I married him all over again, May 07
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Oh, Pep...thank you for your post, which was a delight to find tonight...
because I've been wrestling a problem...and it wore me down...and I got a little wayward...ate a lot of chocolate...****** and moaned...and now that I solved this problem...I'm really fat.
Computer problems SUCK.
LOL!
So NOT going down the road to perdition feels marvelous tonight...and I remember reading your posts like this one...where you show what's on the other side of recovery, far down the line, long before I could laugh or smile...and take hope of getting there...because you show a there...
And I'm laughing, too.
Thank you.
LA
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Laugh at "ourselves" ???
No, the laughing was at others. I'm not a cheater, nor am I a former cheater, so the laughing wasn't at me and I didn't take it personally. There's a bully mentality at MB and since I'm one of the BSs I could be lumped in with the bullies.
Sure a certain amount of 2x4s are necessary, but less is more. Actually, I didn't perceive this post to be directed at anyone, therefor, there is no "one" to laugh at. I saw it as the ramblings of a poster whose opinions I value, and took it as an oportunity to laugh at myself. If you are not in the same frame of mind then so be it. IMHO, the verbal 2x4 is a matter of perception completely dependant on the state of mind at the point of delivery. To all those getting their back up...relax a bit...there's no malicious intent here.
FBW
MB'er in A recovery since Jan. '02
Married 10 yrs and managing to make it work!
2 boys...6 & 8
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10Swords,
If you don't yet have any animosity toward me, could I ask you to develop some? Or if you already have some, could you develop more? That might take some of it take away that you have for the really worthwhile posters (you are in that group BTW). I do agree about cliquishness (or would if I could spell it). I just find it funny though.
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hrm... Okiedoke. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> 10Swords,
If you don't yet have any animosity toward me, could I ask you to develop some? Or if you already have some, could you develop more? That might take some of it take away that you have for the really worthwhile posters (you are in that group BTW). I do agree about cliquishness (or would if I could spell it). I just find it funny though.
[color:"#39395A"]***Well, it's sort of hard to still wonder if you were consolation prize in the midst of being cherished.***
- Noodle[/color]
Devastation Day: Aug 26, 2004
[color:"#2964d8"]"I think we have come out on the other side... meaning that we love each other more than we ever did when we loved each other most." [/color]
[color:"#7b9af7"]
~Archibald MacLeish[/color]
Very Happily Married
Me FBS - 44
Him FWS - 51
I married him all over again, May 07
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Affirm to yourself each and every morning
"I am the victim, I am the victim"
Works a charm.
Max
Last edited by madmax1; 06/25/06 01:32 AM.
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Well, this thread was a welcome laugh and kick up the whoopsy for me!
And Pep - I love Bernie Siegel's Love, Medicine and Miracles.
"No power in the 'verse can stop me."
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