Third, I guess we're all talking from hindsight which makes us very wise whereas your fiancee is at the stage I was at before all this happened. She's sure she can deal with it, she's very flattered Bill wants to talk her, heck, she's thinking why shouldn't they, they're old friends. BUT she needs to realise that now she's in a committed relationship and that YOU come first. Bill is DEFINITELY not to be trusted.

I thought I could deal with seeing the old b/f again. My last words to my workmates just before I went to the funeral with him were "what can happen? we're both adults, we're both married."

I don't think your fiancee is trying to be deceitful, she just hasn't got the knowledge we have and that you are rapidly gaining.

Your reservations about him are your life experiences guiding you through this.

I am a man. I know what my main goal was when I was single. I knew how I felt after a breakup and what would help me feel better about myself.

I may be of a different opinion of everyone else but my opinion is that when married I have no need to have single women friends. I also expect that my FWW have no single male friends.

Why in the world would a single man want to be "friends" with my FWW.

Every comedian in the world has done a skit on what men want. The reason it is funny is it is based on some truth.

When my FWW announced she met a new friend on her vacation I wish I would have gotten on a plane and flew out there myself. I went against my own instinct and belief.

Guess what he didn't want to be just friends.

I agree with hurtingless. My husband isn't comfortable with me having single (or married) male friends outside of those we are both friends with. He doesn't have female friends outside of being friendly with his friends wives.

If he's not comfortable with me having those friends, I'm okay with that. At first I felt the whole "Why wouldn't you trust me" thing and didn't think it was fair to have to give up my single male friends.

He is my husband though, my life partner. If he's uncomfortable with it, it's not worth it to me to make him uncomfortable. It's not about me and his trust of me but it took me a long time to understnad that. It's about his comfort and our protection.

Once I understood that, it was a no-brainer.

There is a post about this in Pre-marriage and the Early Years too that might be of some interest to you and her titled "Dishonesty in marrige doesn't always have to be infidelity".

FIM