I don't know if it gets easier, I'm about where you are.

I have hope too, gotta cling onto something.

No one wants me to take him back. Says I deserve better after the he** he's put me and the kids through. But like you. I still love him. Sick huh?

I doubt if he'll come back anyway. I think he and OW are making future plans, she just filed D from her H, but I still have hope that someday the A will end and he'll realize what he did.

Guess that's silly, but like I said, gotta hang onto something.

My WW ended her A before she left me. She's not really had any other affairs... I mean, since she left me, would it be classified as an A now? She has, however, slept with several other guys. I dunno.

I don't want to let go, but I am doing so.

Sooo... where to start. Things are going okay on the WW-front. I think we'll be able to be friends, in the end. Maybe not for a long time, but I am much more comfortable with the situation and with her presence than I was before. I can accept that our marriage is over, and I can accept that I have to move on. I would like to think that I'm even doing a damn good job of moving on, now. Of course, I have a brand new, unexpected focus:

I was laid-off on Monday.

So now I have to find a new job! It has definitely given me more to think about, and honestly, having a job so that I don't lose my lifestyle is more important than pining over a woman--excuse me, a girl--who has no idea what she wants or where she is going in life.

I'm going to put the divorce off for now, because I simply just don't have the money. HOWEVER, I will not skip out on the LS papers. I can file those for less than $150, and it is very important that it be taken care of ASAP. Maybe this will end up for the best. I don't pretend to know what tomorrow brings, after all, and maybe some time spent fully separate will give us both time to grow up, and we can try again in the future. I've given up on making it work for now, but I will never ultimately give up hope that, maybe someday, we can try again.

If it doesn't happen, that's fine. I'm not going to wait for her. I'm not going to save myself for her. If I find someone else, I will not chain my heart so that my WW can come back to me in the future... I will move on.

The door is simply being left unlocked, so long as I am still not divorced from her. If I meet someone else that I am seriously interested in, I will get a divorce, and that will spell the end of any chance we have. Call it symbolic... I tend to be that way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, thank you all for the help. I know I've been difficult at times, but I'm sure everyone is that way at first, when the pain is at its worst. You've all given me a place to vent and cry and just talk, and that is very appreciated.

I will continue to post, read, help... maybe someday I'll be able to come back here and give you all a happy ending.

Thanks again, and good luck to everyone.