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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
TA
I think you have the wrong guy ..... this one is a relative newbie
this is not grxannm ( I don't think )
Last edited by Pepperband; 07/02/06 01:59 PM.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,584
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Pep - you're absolutely right, I've got confused between the two. It was grxannm I intended to post to.
Apologies, Neverenuff. I'll try to edit to remove my post so that it won't confuse the issue.
Then I'll go in search of grxannm's thread....
Ta, Pep.
TA
"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 118
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Joined: Mar 2006
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I have been trying to amend and as well as taken responsibility for my part of destructing the marriage. My relationship was wrong and It has caused the problems in my marriage. I keep trying but what else can I do?
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I have been trying to amend and as well as taken responsibility for my part of destructing the marriage. My relationship was wrong and It has caused the problems in my marriage. I keep trying but what else can I do? BE HONEST about it. Stop saying you have taken responsibility or made amends when you haven't. That is the first thing that needs to happen. Stop using weasel words like "friendship" to describe an affair. The second step is to make sure you never ever see or communicate with her again. Will she even talk to you anymore? Will she come here and let us talk to her?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
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Tell me Neverenuf, if this was your wife and she had this type of close friendship with your Brother in Law, would you feel it was an affair?
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
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"I have been trying to amend and as well as taken responsibility for my part of destructing the marriage. My relationship was wrong and It has caused the problems in my marriage. I keep trying but what else can I do?"
I don't know your amends, or what you have seen in yourself, your part.
Are you saying that when you make your amends, they don't get you the result you wanted?
"she can not talk with me. She avoids me. she runs runs and runs. Will she ever open up to me again. How do i get her to look at me and talk.......?"
I ask this because this could have been what I wrote two years ago...
Part of what I posted earlier to you is realizing you can't get her to do anything...she chooses. Plan A for the WS...is that what you're doing?
We don't predict the future here...don't believe anyone can...urge you to stay present, be authentic, remorseful, aware, and I believe that's why you're here...
Tell us your steps, your intent...maybe then we can find a way to known what you want and how to communicate it.
You have great people here to help you. Openness and Honesty (O&H) is a human need...both to be in their life and have in their life. I think you're missing this the most from your wife.
Please consider being O&H for yourself, here...practicing it, so you can be so in your life, respectfully, and grow.
LA
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hello
by Woodham - 09/22/25 03:47 PM
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