I'm dying here people!!!!


LO, I can't seem to put my walls back up and put on my face; it is killig me and my H sees it.


H offered to move out just now (I asked him to leave over 2 weeks ago).

He made a statement about me seeming to have alot of anger...DUH!!!! I confirmed that I have tons and asked him if he were in my shoes didn't he think he would...that's when he said he would move out even though he says it isn't what he wants to do, he'd do it for me!!! I replied, do you still have stuff going on with OWs? Denied X2...just states lots of work issues that are keeping him at work so much...he is there when he says he is but thats where all the OWs come from and to...

Discussed D yesterday as my H says he never intends to D and thinks we're just in a bad time now...Ya think???? We ended up having a discussion where I disclosed that I needed to prepare for the worst regardless of his intentions as we have children to consider in this equation. H feels like it would hurt both of us in many ways including financial to do anything except plug away and try to get through this...says A is over; made some remote comment about how he doesn't want to tell me too much about his job since there are things that would upset me...leads me to believe there are many potential OWs just dying for a piece of him...

In the meantime, I am trying to keep up the plan A...but it's not working out real well...I'm an emotional wreck and need to detach in order to get through this...don't think I can be warm and caring when I don't believe anything...maybe I just need a mental break.

Sitting in a wireless cafe sipping wine as I write:)

Don't know whether to let him leave or try to keep up plan A and tell him to stay if that is what he wants to do or just let him go and see what happens???? I'm soooo tired and it's only been really 4 official months of plan A but 6 unofficial.

Orchid, I know you think I should tell him not to let the door hit him where the sun don't shine. Haven't seen much of an effort to make me feel safe; I've been waiting for the Safety Dance but no-go!!! No, I haven't had too much wine, just getting silly from all of this repressed anger and resentment!

Feedback Requested!!!

I know u r tired. U s/b, that's part of your stages a BS goes through. Just wait until the 'anger' stage kicks in. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Now I don't want the door to hit him where the 'sun don't shine'....... that would injure him and render him of no benefit to you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Instead the door ought to hit him on his way out. LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Thanks for the humor and support!

I am angry, almost find myself looking for little things to get fired up with him about, believe me there is plenty.

Came home to find H working on a household project that got started last time he ended an A; should I encourage short-lived A's until I get my "Honey Do" list worked thru????

Ok, I know I should praise him to the rafters for even making an effort on something that he has ignored for months...my anger is limiting those efforts at this point.

Yep, I know it's a choice to be angry and that no one can MAKE you angry b/c that's what I tell my 5 year old! Guess I should take my own advice...it would add years to my life, decrease my frown lines and prevent lots of wasted time/energy.

So, today is a new day...right now I am choosing to be happy b/c aside from my H's adventures, I have the whole package deal...great house, healthy kids, 2 dogs and a cat, awesome job, have my health. What more could I really ask for excecpt H to be a part of the fairy tale!

I will work on my babble and throw it right back at him like a grenade (can you feel the underlying anger?).

I will focus only on the positives and if those little gremlin negatives try to get in my face I'm gonna send them back with smiles and warm fuzzy babble.

Look out I'm laying out the war plans...problem is I'm a great strategic planner but a pretty shabby implementer when it comes to personal life.


Ok, a plan is a start...

Orchid; LO, MBers... prepare for emergent strategic and operational consultations <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Orchid: Now don't go the extreme on that praise. If he is doing something he ought t/b doing you be nice and tell him thanks with small compliments but don't give him the oscar for his performance. He doesn't deserve any bonus' yet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Orchid: Again, let's balance you back. We showed you a tool but don't go blow up your street. Make sure it is in an evironment U control not the WS.


Orchid: Plans are good. Make them pratical and safe with a touch of humor so you can keep your sanity. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.