Noodle... my daughters were born Sept. 12 and Sept. 6, two years apart <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I don't know that I have any advice for your situation with your mom, but you do have my understanding and prayers.

I don't have a relationship with my mother and haven't since my oldest daughter was born. Not only is she toxic to my personal mental health but she maintains contact with her father who is unsafe for any child to be around. She's been hurt by him and so have her children and she hasn't protected herself or her children from him.

It was so hard in the beginning. I'm a protector by nature and it had always been my responsibility to take care of her through all of her problems with drugs and basic mental health, as far back as I can remember I had that role. But when my daughter was born I found that there were certain boundaries I COULD build and more importantly protect.

I know my mother has cancer. She's been in poor health for years, even before I cut off contact with her. I've wondered if I will regret not trying just one more time with her when she does pass away.

I've decided that that regret is far more acceptable to me than the regret of not protecting my children and also protecting myself.

It's a hard one though. I hope you find a peaceful resolution for yourself, Noodle.

BTW - Congrats on the baby!!

FIM