Thanks Tony,

I actually started a new post...with this very question..so my H can read the responses for himself.

Well the next chapter has begun…..H called OMW and left his name & number. OM told his wife, (H didn't leave him with much of a choice). OM called my H, and put his W on the phone. She told my H that she had gotten his message, and that she knew. he told her she could call him anytime and ask any question. And although he knows first hand the pain and shock she must be feeling, it was necessary for her to know. My amazing H told her that the 4 of us share 50/50 in this happening…and that he would be willing to share with her what he knew, to be sure that OM was telling her everything.

The feeling of FULL EXPOSURE is deafening .

It is there now, in plain view, wide open. It is the final nail in the coffin of the fantasy. Now the shattered pieces will fall. For the first time, “she” will have a face, a voice and a name. “she” has become real, and is someone I will have to come to terms with. I will now be held accountable to her as well. I must face the truth about the OM and about my A…the fantasy is dead, and with this comes the shame, the guilt, the realization is smack in my face!

Now real recovery can begin, and although I am afraid, I know that I have the strength and comfort of my H to lean on. Yes, I am learning to lean on HIM and confide in HIM. I am learning to show him that I do need him in my life. We are continuing to work through the days one at a time. I imagine that the next few days may get complicated and messy, with questions and accusations, as she begins to deal with and sort out her emotions. I am hopeful that we will get through this hoop as well.

Striving for full recovery ..and still trudging along the path!

2crazy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I will be moving to the recovery section now, so many questions, as we begin each day. Thoughts of the OM are still in my mind, but vaguely, almost an afterthought. More like wondering what and where, as opposed to wishing/wanting to be there.

I know that it will take many months for complete recovery. My husband still has many questions, and unsure feelings, but we deal with them one at a time, one day at a time. It is the "trust" factor. But I know that I must be transparent, and open about where I am, where I am going, and when I will be back. I hope that for him, he will begin to let go of some of the anger. Although he says he has forgiven me, he still has immense anger toward the OM.

"Thank You" to everyone who helped pull me from the depths of darkness, and let me see that there was light & hope at the end. When I think of the fear and the indifference, that I felt only a few months ago, I am appreciative of how much "lighter" I now feel. "The truth shall set you free". Yes it does, but with a price!

Although I will carry the burden of knowing that I destroyed our marriage, and I was responsible for those dark times, I am thankful for the amazing man who wants to continue this new journey with me, and rediscover each other.

I continue to read here daily, and gather information and insight from those who have been there, are still going through, and those who have just begun! It is wonderful that although we don't know each other we can still touch each others lives in such a positive way. Sometimes, the painful truth, from "outsiders" is the only way to see inside! Sharing our failures and successes with each other, is such a compassionate showing of our human nature.

To all who come here, continue to read, post and reach out…..

2crazy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well done...Mrs. and Mr. Crazy.

I like this:


Godspeed,
Mr. Wondering

2C,

To read of the steps your H took and your willing commitment to him and your M (even if it hurt), is highly encouraging. You both have given hope to this board and an example of how things can get better if BOTH partners work together.

U made my 'posting day'. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Thank you both for sharing your experience with us.

All the best to you both,

L.