For the record, I meant no slam on fortyish women. And for what it's worth, my experience is that men in the same age bracket generally tend to seem equally...ah...set in their outlook and ways.

My comment was really intended as a caveat on the validity of my personal experience, since for whatever reason the places I tend to go and the activities in which I've been engaged have not often presented me with opportunities to get to know women closer to my own age.

I'm sure that such vibrantly interesting single women exist, just as I'm sure that I exist. And occasionally I do manage to meet one. In fact, just a couple of months ago I spent some delightful evenings with a very attractive woman quite close in age. If she were local, and if she spoke better English...well, who knows?

I'm sure you didn't mean any slam.It just seems for every "this description" there is one out there that's the opposite,you know?

I am honestly scared to begin dating again.I just keep reading here to see what is down the road for me and what I could be doing.I know I am not ready.It's nice that you had some good dates.Keeps the hope alive that you can enjoy spending time with someone nice as a possibility now and again.

I didn't take it as a direct slam from you Gnome, it's simply an observation.

Appreciate the clarification though!

Karona

MLHB ~ Thanks for the thought sharing. Yes, I'm very aware that we may have a couple of deal-breakers on our hands. I've stated the negatives. But there are TONS of positives about her!! And we're both quite compatible in many ways. I clearly do care alot for her. And she does for me too.....

I'm probably wishing someone would come along that would sweep me off my feet & make this other decision a moot point. That is probably very self-serving of me I know, but anyway, that's not likely to happen & I know I'm going to have to weigh it all then make a choice...How I HATE to hurt someone's feelings!!! But hanging on IF there's no real future for either one of us is not doing anyone a service. Decisions, decisions!

Gnome ~ I've always benefitted by your thoughts. Thank you! Sounds like we have a good deal in common. Hopefully there's a woman out there for both of us that will fit quite well. Until then, the search continues eh?

Hello HF,

Yes, dude it has been awhile! Reading your post and delighted to know your enjoying your life again!!! Super!

Sooooooo sorrry to hear your having a difficult time with re- adjustment bonding issues with the ladies. Big huggs to you all the same, for the dissappointment setbacks of these situations, not working out for you or them.

Wonderful, to know your developing other skills sets and talents! Life style practioner, that's great! That's great progress and healing! DE-tox is such a wonderful place to start on so many levels, and DV offers the same healing properties if we are honest, and willing to do the wk.

Returning to the point of orgin. I think about wonderful gem treasured poem you once shared. Speaks satisfying volumes of truths, points one into the right direction, aligns our compass for sure, corrects our priorties in life and everything else flows from that.

Reading through your stuff, I can't help smile, you clever guy. You already know the answers to all your questions and where exactly to find them. Application, is so apart of the equation don't you think? Ah, the challenge of dual nature we humans contend with.

Some answers though can be multiple choice, and a learning experince. It's your life, your free will, and right to decide what's good, right, true, wks for you and of course the adjustments neccesarry to make.

Hoping to connect again with our old dear friend LL. Hope she'll show up and tell us what's new in her world!!!

My what a tumultous transitional time we all went through! Rebuilding definately has it's deep transforming challenges! I so do miss all our fun and deep meaningful conversations, where ever our LL may be. Giant huggs to her out there.

Hang loose, of course when relationship's don't work out. There is plan C, the wonderful "JOYS" and satisfaction of getting a great motorcycle or a horse, growing out one's hair abit, getting a cool tatoo, head out to the wilderness and really connecting. Joys of being one's self,free and becoming one's own best friend. Definately a great place to beee... Gone with the wind!!!

Sigh and high fives to you bud, as ever, hoping for all good things to come your way!!!!


Take good care, I am sure it will all work just fine for you!

HF,

While you were away--here's a bit of catch up, wanted to share a good joke. Thought you might appreciate a bit of humor update. Sometimes a "good laugh" at our circumstances can lighten up our load. Remind us that the sun still rises!

Joke on Infidelity...Is there ever such a thing?

" What [He dumped her for another woman?] Even a weatherman could have called THAT one. ("High-pressure, low-integrity blame system approaching from the south. Dense cloud cover, increasing psychodrama. Partly charming today, 90% chance of disrespect tomorrow. Relative humiliation 100%.")"

Smiles,

Hey Skydiver!! Greetings & long time no speak!! Good to hear from you again too. Yes, we've all traveled a great many "miles" in our life journeys since we last connected.

Fortunately, the One great Traveling Companion who never leaves us or foresakes us is right there faithfully alongside....

Well....I got a great Motorcycle recently....that leaves growing my hair out long!! hehehe Wouldn't my 2 boys freak out!!! Course that's EXACTLY how I could get them to cut their hair!! Dad grows his out to look like them --> GUARANTEED they would cut theirs then!!! hahahaha

Take care my friend!
High Flight

Smiles High Flight!

Greets back at ya! Yes, it has been along time- I am amazed at how much time has gone by??? Life is simply an amazing discovery process. Zones of Time, can be so healing!

Yes, we have all SOJOURNED for some time on this common journey.I am grateful for the SOLACE outreach here and looking back how far I have progressed. I just look back and laugh at myself/shake my head at some of my irrational thoughts/beliefs. Well they had to gooo anyways,& good riddens.

Wonderful, experinces here for sure, where we can grow/benefit from one another's journey's, goodness, wisdom, inspite of being so winded, wounded, whiny, in our saturation fahrenheit phases of recovery. Pain is such a strict teacher with many gifts to learn from.

Your too funny, I can't believe it!?! You already have a new Motorcycle!!! Awesome. I definately see a book coming on! Yes, that's it....The optimist freely wheelin guide to a speedy recovery& mental free independance! Tee, hee, hee!

Much better way than having a cantankerous caradic arrest style of negative recovery. Putting the fun in dsy-FUN-ction can be a such a blessing, in so many terrific ways!

I think getting a BIKE is simply marvelous, really I do!!! New Toys sure have their comforting place and can distract us from pain, in the most delightful ways, that will simply dissolve it self over time if we choose, and help us re-focus more into in to a positive recovery state of mind!

Congrats on your BIKE and I am so HAPPY for you!!

As for the let down your hair a bit project! Your precious two sons are wayyy too savvy smart for the ole parental reverse standby sand trap. Kids are so attuned!!!

They might say hey dad, growing out your hair, bringin it down a notch! Kool, what took you so long to get with the program! Pack the fishing poles, bring VISA, head for the hills, chk into a B/B, rent a CANOE, as the weekend warriors are heading out, for more action/live adventure!!! Ya, ya, ya!

Rule of teens is never ever mess with their hair!!!

Speaking of being fortunate with our One and Only true Traveling Companion, thought you might want to check this site out! Says it all!

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllpreviewlarge.html

Remember, when you reach the end of the universe before we all do, turn left!!!!

Take very, very good care my friend!!!

Sky

Hmmmm.. you just might have restored my faith in men!

She says, trying to decide whether to pluck - or flaunt - those stray gray hairs. Leaning towards flaunting, as I hate pain.

Oh you youngsters crack me up. I'm older than most of you, but now - armed with a new hip and soon-to-be-permanent freedom - I am itching to go and do. Again. Not all of us (old women, by some of your definitions) are sitting around.

Loved to travel, will do it again. My friends are surprised that I want to go to places like Marrakech... Casablanca... Transylvania... the Riviera... the Greek Isles... Peru... and Kathmandu... by myself even. And I'm back in school, working on my PhD, and excited about my research - even though I'm probably the oldest one in my program.

And you know what? I've only got a couple of gray hairs. My STBX gave those to me as a parting gift.

Well, Deja Vu, perhaps we should start an MB travel club. I'd love to see all of those places. This weekend, I'm visiting Stockholm for the first time. So many places to explore, so little time (and money).

DV, good luck on the PhD.

I applaud ALL who pick up their lives and move on to better, higher ground!! BRAVO!!!!!

Deja, there's nothing sexier than a woman who has a life & is living it to the fullest!!! You GO girl!!!

Best Regards,
High Flight