2Bnormal, I'm also proud of you and I'm glad you and your H could finally reach an agreement on this. I'm sure this will be a big load of your mind & conscience and finally give you the peace & relief you deserve.

God Bless,
Suzet

Melody is right on about the certified thing...it will make it MORE likely intercepted. Why not write the letter, email it to me or send it to me if you want it to be handwritten and I'll mail it from Detroit?

I have another idea. You could send her a small gift off the internet from another location. I never open my wife's internet shopping boxes. In the message direct her to a blog location with all the information she needs and an opportunity to ask questions if she likes. Indicate the blog will be removed one week after you confirm she saw it. Some kind of locked blog that requires her to register to see it so you know she came on with a promise to be there live for 2 hours next sunday evening to address any questions. Might be a good idea. Gives her a few days to figure out IF she has questions, etc. Otherwise, she is to call your husband to confirm receipt.

I'm happy you are doing this. You will feel such relief.

Mr. Wondering

MrW,
You have some great ideas. I like the idea of a letter being mailed from a different location. Your other idea is a good thought as well. I will be thinking about both of these ideas. Thank you!

Thank you for your kind words, Suzet. My thoughts and prayers are still with your situation as well.

Owl,

Thank you for your thoughts and ideas.


We are in agreement now. He agrees that I need to do this.


Whether I end up doing this by phone or letter, I do want to give her the information she needs to know this is true and that the OM can't hide from it. I have questions on whether to inform her where there are pictures "hidden" of the OM and me. I have destroyed my copies of these pics long ago, but I am thinking the OM may still have his copies in his possession. But, I am worried that would be devastating for her to see those pics. They are just pics of the OM & me taken outside by some random person while the OM was here. I would like them destroyed, but they are evidence. And there is also a note that I gave the OM that is evidence that this happened. I believe the note and the pics are stored together, and unless the OM moved them or destroyed them, I can direct her to where that is.

Any thoughts on this?

Another thought for proof. The OM dropped off his wife at her parents on the way to visiting me in my state. He lied and told her of some event he was attending. I can give her those dates as proof. This would not be as devastating as seeing pictures.

My goodness, so complicated how to be sure SHE gets the
letter and not OM. (Can someone retrieve and sign a certified letter that is not addressed to them?)

So many good ideas here. I have a thought:

What if....

You DO send a little package?
Have the return address a BOGUS address
(Or the street address where your H works but
the Company name some Gift Shop.)

I think we all open mail that is a package, don't we?

And our husband's do not open this type mail, do they?

Then inside could be your letter.
I can't think of a gift that she would find acceptable.
Maybe someone else might think of Something???

2B...

I'm very impressed by your decision to tell OMW...I've watched you struggle with this here and I know that it hasn't been an easy place to get to for you...Once this is done, I know that you will feel a surge in your integrity...This is where it's at 2B...The true healing, the full remorse, the total repentance...

The lot of you will be in my prayers...Thank you for doing the right thing, and coming here to share it with all of us...Please keep us posted...God Bless You 2B!

Mrs. W

P.S. And, of course, as Mr. W said, we'd be more than glad to help you with this in any way that we can...We mean that, sincerely...

On the pictures...I'd say let the 'experts' chime in on this...I don't know what to say on that. If she sees them, it's going to be VERY VERY HARD for her to get over the actual visuals of the two of you together. Personally, I don't think I'd bring it up, because it'll create something she's likely to obssess on. But I'm not sure that it's good to leave things out either. My take at least...again, good question to let the others debate on.

I'm more in favor of sending something registered mail requiring HER signature directly, or a direct call from you and your H. It nearly garauntees that SHE got the message from you, and it confirms it for you that she did. It's closure for you and your H. That way, you'll never doubt that she got the message. You can let it go, knowing you did what you had to. No doubts left. The gift box idea is good, but it leaves that gap for you...something that YOU might obssess on.

Thoughts?

2B...

There doesn't have to be a thing in the box...the letter will suffice...no gift would be well received, understandly...

Seriously, you can email us the letter, and we will print it out, go to the post office and put it in a box for you...etc...

Alternatively, we can make the call for you...3 way calling, if you'd like...Whatever works best...We really would do this for you, just say the word...We would be glad to call you and work out the details...

I'm very proud of you 2B!

Mrs. W

{{2B}} Kudos to you for making this decision. Your load will be much lighter when you have accomplished the task.

I think Owl has a good point.

2B, I have seen your picture and you are a petite and
pretty lady. You don't want to hurt this woman any more than
you have to. Especially if she knows you are the girl he had a summer romance with when you were teens...It is going to hurt her deeply to know he has been secretly pining for you all these years. Was this something like 20 years ago?

She is going to have a bomb dropped into her life.
(Unless she already knows about her cheating husband.)
And you don't want to hurt her unnecessarily more by leading her to the pictures. JMHO

As someone mentioned earlier in this thread, just tell her the basics...you had an affair several years ago with her husband and you are deeply sorry.

MrsW,
I appreciate your willingness to help me get this done. I understand about the box not having an actual "gift" in it would be best as well.

I need to work on the content of this letter first and then the method.

Any thoughts to what I posted above regarding the "evidence"? Do I just tell her the basics as IWRA stated and maybe give her the dates he was here...?

I think the basics are fine...The dates would provide proof, yes...The pictures, personally I wouldn't go there-just seems like pouring salt in the wound to me...

Mrs. W

P.S. How cool is it that Pep predicted something good was gonna come your way? That spooky girl! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I agree the pics would be too much. I know my H would not want to see pics of the OM and especially pics of the OM and me together.


Yes! I've been thinking of Pep and her statement! Where are you Pep? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

On another note 2B...Mr. W said going to say, lancome.com and ordering something innocuous-mascara, eyeliner...whatever...include on the "gift card"...OMW, My name is 2B...I had an affair with your H...from ?/03-?/03...to confirm receipt of pckg & for details go to www.2Bsblog.com... 2B Cell(555)555-5555...

Remember, that any email that you receive from "her" could actually be from him...

Mrs. W

I don't wanna talk about it !!!!!!!

I scare me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

2B ... sometimes you amaze me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> ..... in a good way

Pep

Well, you BETTER tell Mr. W and I if you think we should ever play the lottery or go to the casino or I will NEVER forgive you!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

PS .... this is not the "good thing" .... this is only the lead in ....

SHADDUP PEPPERBAND .... you've already said too much ....

*thud*

call 911

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, when I read your post last week, I didn't imagine me writing this thread this week!

Whatever it took to get to this point, I am thankful! Now I just need to get it done!

Thank you Pep for seeing something in me that I could not see....

THIS is a great idea! I have never done a blog before or know how to start one? Suggestions?