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PS and the book is about sex a lot about sex the chapters are about sex.... deeply sexy sex eyes open orgasm hugging until relaxed electric sex into your 80s Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Have you ever read the book Sheet Music by Kevin Leman? This book is about sex and intimacy as well. I bought this book about a year ago and it was too difficult for my husband to read at the time. I have a feeling the book you mentioned may be too difficult right now for my husband to read as well. Maybe down the road....
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no ... never heard of it
I'll see if my library carries it (they have everything ... it's Los Angeles Public Library for goodness sakes!)
thanks
Pep
added: Kevin Leman?
Last edited by Pepperband; 07/22/06 11:51 AM.
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Yes, Kevin Leman. Click on the book title in my post above and it will take you to the book on Amazon.
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Your letter sounds fine.
I wish there was a way you could get a response
from her but I guess you can't MAKE her write you.
At my sisters today, she showed me how a registered letter works.
She owns storage units and when a person is several months behind in their rent, she sends a registered letter.
It costs under 5.00.
Anyway, they get this card and when they sign the card, the card is mailed back to her.
AND if the letter is NOT received or picked up at the post office, the card and letter come back unsigned.
It has an identical card taped to the back of the letter, with the card UNSIGNED. She showed me where the addressee must have moved or did not want this letter from the storage unit. (Since they knew they were behind in their rent.)
So anyway, at least you will know if she picks up the letter.
There IS a chance that the letter will be returned to you, unread!
Are you using your home address for the return address?
If you don't get a PO number, could you maybe use your husband's work address or your work address?
You would not want your daughters to pick up the mail and find a letter from OM's wife OR your original letter. True?
Edited to add, Top Rope's suggestion with the two more sentences seems like a good idea.
Last edited by IWRA; 07/22/06 01:44 PM.
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2B,
I think your letter sounds great. I had a similar thought to TopRpope. At the beginning, you say something about "your life that you don't know about" or something. I thought you might say "you may not know about" Just in case, he has told her.
As a BS, I might also read that you had prayed about the words being a little self righteous. I have thought about how you could reword it but haven't been able to come up with anything.
I'm very proud of you for doing this. I know it is very hard, but it gives her th e opportunity to work on her marriage if she desires.
Blessings to you
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IWRA - Thanks for the info regarding registered mail. I was going to use certified mail/restricted delivery. I am not sure what the difference is between sending something "registered" vs. "certified"? With Certified mail, you can get online access to the delivery status. Then you can add on top of that "return receipt" and "restricted delivery". I think that should cover it.
And, I was planning on using my work address for the return receipt.
moveforward - Thank you for your encouragement and suggestion!
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I thought I would look up a few of the different ways of mailing a letter and getting a receipt that they received the letter. (or package) They are all similar with a way to combine them? My goodness, hope this doesn't confuse you. LOL But you only have ONE chance to get this right. And I KNOW you want to be sure she receives the letter and that YOU know that she received it. (Mostly you need her signature as confirmation, right?) Registered MailProvides maximum protection and security for valuables. Provides a sender with a mailing receipt. A record of mailing is maintained at the mailing post office. Available only for items mailed at Priority Mail and First-Class Mail rates. May be combined with COD, Delivery Confirmation, Restricted Delivery, Return Receipt or Signature Confirmation. Postal insurance is provided for articles with a declared value up to a maximum of $25,000. Registered Mail must be presented to an employee of the USPS. Fee is based on the value of the article being sent. Restricted DeliveryPermits a mailer to direct delivery only to the addressee or addressee’s authorized agent. The addressee must be an individual specified by name. May be combined with Delivery Confirmation, parcel airlift service (PAL), Return Receipt, Signature Confirmation or special handling. Available for First-Class Mail, Priority Mail, Parcel Post, Bound Printed Matter and Media Mail that is sent Certified Mail, COD, Insured Mail for more than $50, or Registered Mail. Fee in addition to postage—$3.50 Return ReceiptProvides a mailer with evidence of delivery. Also supplies the recipient’s actual delivery address if it is different from the address used by the sender. A Return Receipt may be requested before or after delivery. Available only for Express Mail, Certified Mail, COD, Insured Mail for more than $50 or Registered Mail. Fee in addition to postage: Requested at time of mailing: Showing to whom delivered, signature, date and addressee’s address (if different)—$1.75 Requested after mailing: Showing to whom and date delivered—$3.25 Signature Confirmation (Retail) Provides the date and time of delivery or attempted delivery. May be purchased at the time of mailing only. Mailers may retrieve delivery information through the USPS Internet site ( http://www.usps.com) or the toll-free number 800-222-1811. A delivery record, including the recipient’s signature, is maintained by the USPS and is available via fax or mail upon request. No acceptance record is kept at the office of mailing. Waiver of signature is optional. Available for: Priority Mail, Parcel Post, Bound Printed Matter and Media Mail. Not available for: APO/FPO destinations, U.S. territories, possessions and freely-associated states in Domestic Mail Manual G011 (except for Puerto Rico and U.S. Virgin Islands, for which service is available). For an additional fee, signature confirmation may be combined with: COD, Insured Mail, Registered Mail or special handling. Restricted delivery is available if purchased with insurance for over $50, COD or Registered Mail.
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IWRA - I was just looking all of that up too and then you posted it!
I think "registered" mail is more for valuables...don't you think? That is why I was going to use "certified" mail. And yes, you add the other services such as "restricted delivery" and "return receipt" on top of the "certified mailing".
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Hey 2B,
Just wanted to check in and see how things were going...
Have you mailed your letter yet?
I still have not heard from OMW or OM. H and I are getting back on track, and I am worrying less and less.
I still feel 100% positive about my decision to tell OMW.
Hope you are well and thinking about you!
KM
Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)
So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...
"God lives in the gathering of saints."
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Hi Katie Mae, Thanks for checking on me. I was thinking about you too and wondering if the OM'sW contacted you. No, I haven't mailed the letter yet. My parents will be in town next week and I didn't want to have to deal with possible phone calls coming in when they are visiting. Katie, I was wondering if your husband read the letter you sent? I know you sent it before he knew about it, but did he want to read it afterwards? My husband doesn't want to read the letter at all. It is too hard for him to read and think about. Thanks again for thinking of me.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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2B, Same here... H has no interest in the content of my letter. It's too bad, because I think he's imagining something far different (and worse) than what it actually said. I also don't think he wants to keep re-living the pain, and I can't blame him. Are you and your H talking about this, or did he just give you his blessings? I wish I could talk to my H about it more, but he wants to drop it. I think talking about it would help. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Enjoy your visit with your family!
Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)
So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...
"God lives in the gathering of saints."
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Are you and your H talking about this, or did he just give you his blessings? It's VERY hard for my H to talk about it. He will talk some, and I wouldn't exactly call it "him giving me his blessings" on this. It's all so painful for him to think about.
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Hopefully our Hs will eventually understand the true intentions of our actions, and that we are trying to make amends and do something honorable in light of the horrible actions of the past.
Is your H conflict avoidant? Mine is, and he admits this is partly responsible for his discomfort.
I'm proud of you for telling your H that you wanted to do this instead of doing it and then telling him (like I did-ugh.) This won't destroy H and I, but I do wish I had done things a little differently.
Let us know when you mail the letter!
Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)
So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...
"God lives in the gathering of saints."
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2B,
Have a wonderful weekend getting ready for your parents arrival. If they are there already, enjoy.
Celebrate family
I sincerely believe your recent decision to do right will spill over into the rest of your life. Right or wrong, sometime parental approval and disapproval has negative effects on individuals. Family/parents can be judgemental. Even worse than MB...lol. I hope you feel a new confidence in yourself as you interact with them.
You ARE doing good.
Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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2B,
has your company left? I guess that might be southern for do you still have guests at your house.
Anyway, have you mailed the letter?
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moveforward,
My parents (my company) are still here.
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As many have known on this board for awhile, I have been struggling with telling the OM'sW who does not know of the A. There were some things that happened that past week that enabled me to talk to my husband again regarding telling the OM'sW. He has agreed that this is what I need to do, and I am ready to proceed with how to inform her. I wanted to give a little background about what has happened since my posts last week. Prior to my posting on Suzet's thread, I have been dealing with some other "issues" that have been weighing heavily on me. When Suzet posted her situation, the thought of telling the OM'sW kept flooding my mind. I have always believed that she needs to know, but yet I felt I had to stand behind my husband's decision of not informing her. I felt this was what I had to do for the recovery of our marriage. Last Tuesday (the day after my postings)...I had to leave work for about 1 1/2 hours because I just about "lost it all" and had an emotional breakdown. I had an incident that happened at work with another employee and I needed to get away and leave my office. I left and went to my husband's office to calm myself down. My husband knows I have issues with this employee at times, but he also realizes how this other "issue" has been weighing on me lately. He knew it was more than this incident for me to be having such a hard time. I couldn't stop crying! It was then that I told him that the OM1's W NOT KNOWING has been weighing heavily on me too. I told him what happened on MB and how I just don't know what the right answer is. He told me that if this is bothering me so much, then I must have my answer and we should tell her. We talked about praying over this for a few days before proceeding. And we also talked of different ideas on how to tell her. I've spent much time in prayer and the very next day I read this verse in 1 Peter 3:13-15 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord......It left me crying as I felt God was telling me...."What and who am I afraid of for doing what is right? And for doing what pleases Him?" I am ready to do this, and I am open to all advice. When I wrote about this back in March, I did not have the OM's address as their phone number is unlisted. Recently, I was able to obtain their address using zaba search. I had kept their unlisted home phone number as well as the OM's cell phone number for my husband to use if needed... (and he did when when OM tried to contact me in May of this year). For those that don't know, I do not know the OM'sW at all I don't know what type of person she is and how she may react. They live 1100 miles away. For a brief background of the A please read this post #2955445 on this thread: here(I don't know how to get the link to go to the exact post, so you will need to scroll down a few posts to find the post I am referring to) I have followed Katie Mae's thread to where she mailed a box to the OM'sW and also followed up with a letter to the OM'sW. I have thoughts to where sending a letter to the OM'sW would be the best route to take. I feel by sending the letter I can verbalize my thoughts and ask for forgiveness. I can also give her an email address or my cell phone number if she would like to contact me with further questions. I do not wish to include our home address anywhere on the letter. I need advice on how to word such a letter and how much detail she needs. I can imagine receiving a letter like this in the mail will be a major blow and will be difficult to read. None of it is easy, but it will provide her with the truth she deserves. Thank you to all who continued to push me in the right direction to do this. I am still scared, but will trust that God will help me and my husband through this....as well as the OM'sW.
WHERE DID THIS WOMAN'S HUSBAND GO...YA KNOW, THE ONE WITH THE CAJONES TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS SITUATION IS STILL HURTING HIS MARRIAGE AND THAT IT CONTINUES TO WEIGH ON HIS WIFE'S HEART AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH????
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. EVEN IF POJA IS AN ACCEPTABLE REASON NOT TO EXPOSE...WHY CAN'T POJA BE REACHED AGAIN??????
WHY ISN'T GOD'S INTERVENTION/DIRECTION IN 2B'S HEART, AS STATED ABOVE, ENOUGH FOR YOU MR. 2BNORMAL?????
MR. 2B...WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF....WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE KEEPING YOU FROM POJA'ING THIS EXPOSURE????Sorry for shouting...it's all just so frustrating when the peace, finality and grace you both seek can so easily and simply be obtained. Not one person on this site has ever regretted such exposure in hindsight. The words are already prepared. The execution will take but minutes. The relief will last a lifetime. The courage is in the doing and I guarantee only goodness will flow from doing what you both know is right. GET 'ER DONE, Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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WOW Mr W - you said it all. Indeed. Where did that woman go.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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IMHO... she never existed... it was all a fraud. You do not become convicted to do the right thing and suddenly do a 180. Sorry, but this is nothing more than someone coming on here pulling the wool over everyones eyes.
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hello
by Woodham - 09/22/25 03:47 PM
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