Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 641
Z
Member
Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 641
Back thank you so much for that post, so uplifting.


Yes I have totally turned my life around and I am going to continue to do this. When I was first married my wife was a strong christian and went to a Church School most of her school years. She tried to get me to go to church in our marriage and I avoided it. Since this has happened....

I have confessed my sin to my pastor at this church, he is also helping us with counseling. He knows everything I have done and ive confessed, he got me into the church. Now I have become saved and it has changed my life. I accept god in my life, and I attend church EVERY wednesday and every sunday for service and sunday school. Last night I talked to a few other strong christian people at my church about this and we talked about it for a while, im so lucky to have the support I do from people at this church.


Its funny you say that because everything I do now involves god, I pray when I get up, and I pray at lunchtime and I pray before I go to bed. I have even and I NEVER thought I would do this, started listening to christian music. I dont watch much tv though.


Thank you so much for your post back. You are a blessing.

Thank you for your prayers, god bless

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 387
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 387
Hi Zach....

Praise the Lord. You are on a "winning track" with the Lord it sure sounds like to me.

When we surrender our lives to Jesus, and He moves to "turn our lives around"... He's placing us... we're running the race... in "the winning track".

I am praying for you.

Have you gotten Dr. Harley's books and are you reading them?

Also, have you contacted the Harley's for their professional marriage counselling?

Would your wife agree to counselling?

Many, many times - imo - a wife will "turn around" to attend counselling with a WS.

Counselling, too, is a major "sign" and a commitment that a woman will see and be motivated to "try again"... because it introduces (with a good counsellor for sure) a "3rd party". She feels hope, imo, that real change within the relationship where the man will "turn around" within the relationship... can occur. A lot of times, she will turn around due to the realistic hope good 3rd party counselling provides her.

She needs hope...

What about signing up for counselling with the Harleys and inviting her to join you?

Since you have placed structure and Christian fellowship in your life to place you on the "winning track"... will counselling then be the "tipping point"?

Have you tried asking her that? I mean, why don't you go ahead and start and invite her to join. An object in motion is likely to stay in motion.

The counselling you start with the Harleys could provide positive motivation and forward momentum that will pull her in.

She needs hope.

Keep "putting logs on the fire" that cause her to see, know, and understand that there is renewed reason to hope. Do nothing to "douse the flames"... and see what eventually "catches with her".

Imo, you can't lose. You're on the "winning track". Stay on the "winning track"... and you will build a wonderful life... and become increasingly "safe" and thus "attractive" to your W.

She married you. She loves you. Keep working at it. What you need to do now (and you are doing in many ways) is a "Plan A" to restore your BS to the marriage.

I'd call the Harley's... and have them lead and guide you back into a marriage that will restore your wife's love for you and become the greatest source of happiness for both of you that can be found....

(this side of Heaven.)

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Praying for you and your wife and your life and marriage together.

Keep up the good work in the Lord! For we know our labor in the Lord is not in vain.

God bless.

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 387
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 387
P.S. I recognize the value of pastoral counselling.

Yet, there are practical matters in which Dr. Harley is a phd.

He's an expert... and building marriages and restoring marital love is his field of expertise.

It's "his calling".

That means God is in it... in a specific calling to meet your present need.

Even though you have begun counselling with a pastor... I still believe that Dr. Harley is, perhaps, one of your best sources.

Since you were lead to this site... I would gain from the Lord in it all that can be gained.

I strongly encourage you to add "Dr. Harley" to the counselling you are already receiving.

I think it will be a focussed, targetted, and highly effective venue affording you the best opportunity to restore lvoe quickly.

He's highly trained and educated... and gifted of the Lord, imo... in this area. Againk it's his specific calling as a believer... and one must respect experts in the Lord.

Don't "miss" any positive opportunity... and pay to get the best advice.... I'd advise.

Add it to your counselling. It will be worth it.

And hte "What do we have to lose?" approach... should also resonate with your wife.

Pay for it yourself. (Don't ask your wife to contribute.)

If you need to borrow to do it - borrow... or be open to receive gifts from Christians around you.

Tell them this counselling may very well save your marriage.

Strong Christians will do everything they can to help you begin your married life (you can start over every day with the Lord)... on the best footing possible.

We are "pro marriage"...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

We are "pro God".

And marriage is the greatest symbol or evidence on earth... in some respects... of our shared Christian faith.

It's very important... and worth great investment... in my opinion.

You can't do "too much" of a good thing.

The value of specific goals and a targetted approach to achieve the goals most crucial and pivotal to your success cannot be underestimated.

I'll say it again... that's what Dr. Harley has spent decades learning, knowing, and practising... successfully.

A business woman, a business man, will tell you (I'm a business woman)... that it's worth it and the quickest path to the greatest or highest level success.

I hope you are encouraged to take action.

The more positive action you take... the more momentum is built towards your positive outcome in Christ.

Love in Christ.....

a Christian mom

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 641
Z
Member
Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 641
I have bought 2 "Surviving an Affair" books for me and my W. She has not yet picked it up in a month and read it even thought I have encouraged her several times to do so. I have also mentioned Dr. Harley and his couseling, but I dont think she will be willing to sit down and do it with me. Right now my pastor calls her and she wont even return his calls. She really needs help at this point but I can only do so much, she needs to help herself and I hope the lord helps her with this.


I dont really have the money for Dr. Harley counsleing but I will work it in if she would agree to do it, but it will be a task to do so. I have a hard time believing she will do it.


Thank you for the such kind words Back. I need motivation at times, the nights the past couple of days has been very rough. Especially yesterday when she went and got seperation papers, and hasnt contacted me. She hasnt been home in 3 days, shes been staying with a friend.

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 387
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 387
God can reach her right where she is.

She still loves you.

Sometimes hurt kind of forms a "clenched fist" around the love in a person's heart... choking it up... but it's still there in the Lord.

Holy Father,

I come to you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Satan! I take authority over you in the precious name of the Lord Jesus Christ and according to the power of His blood and the Holy Spirit... in agreement with the Word of God.

The Word of God states to "bind the strongman".

I bind you, Satan, in the name of Jesus and I break your power.

I declare that the captives are set free in the name of Jesus Christ.

Lord, may all reseentment, hurt, and anger... all "stuffed feelings" that are not of you, Lord, be released and evaporate.

Spring up oh well! Within her soul! Spring up oh well! And make her whole!

Lord, let the love of God for Zach flow freely from Zach's wife's heart.

Heal her. Strengthen her. Deliver her.

The Word says to be kind and tenderhearted forgiving one another just as in Christ Father you forgave us.

Father, I bless her in the name of the Lord... Yet I pray you would "hold her feet to the fire"... and cause her Lord to recall and remember her many sins. Take her eyes off of Zach's sin... and cause her to recall that except for the unmeritted favor, grace, and love of God... she would rightly and justly spend eternity in ****** paying for her own sins.

Let her remember her own sinfulness and your own goodness and grace in forgiving ALL her sins....

and cause Lord tenderhearted forgiveness to have free reign in her heart and soul towards Zach.

Let her decisions, Lord, be guided by you and your love.

Let there be wisdom.... let there be love... let there be true reconciliation between the tender and forgiving hearts of 2 Christians in your name.

Show her, Lord, that her "issue" is now between you and her.

When a person repents, we are to forgive. When there is real repentance... WE ARE TO FORGIVE AND RESTORE AND RECONCILE RELATIONSHIP!!!

There is NO Christian "option" for unforgiveness.

Break it off of her in Jesus' name I pray.

Give her wisdom... and cause her Lord to be truly protected. Give her wisdom Lord so that she does not expose herself to harm... but is open to true reconciliation.

For the ministry of Jesus Christ... the gospel of Jesus Christ... is the ministry and gospel of reconciliation.

Oh Lord... were we all to consider our own sins and your grace... we could not fail to forgive any.

Remind us of your goodness... and by your goodness Lord... lead us all to repentance in Jesus holy name and back into the paths of righteousness for your names sake where by we are reconciled one to another....

NOW!!!!

Your power is broken, Satan, in the name and the power by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I release ministering angels and the Holy Spirit straight into this situation NOW!!!... in the name of our most precious Savior... the Lord Jesus Christ.

In Jesus' name I pray.

Amen.

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 641
Z
Member
Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 641
Wow...that prayer brought tears to my eyes. That is so beautiful I wish I could think of such great words as you just did in my prayers. God Bless you, I know god sent you to help me out Back. Thank you so much!


I know god will touch her. Christmas is going to be rough without her. And her Bday is on the 18th. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 641
Z
Member
Offline
Member
Z
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 641
Also last night I FINALLy decided to stop chasing her. I havent heard from her since yesterday at lunchtime, and shes not on AOL Instant messenger like she usually is.

But I need to be worrying about myself <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


God will help us, I know it.

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
Bumping, as I occasionally do "just because"...

Praying for you!



Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
Still praying!

Aloha All and blessings.

S&C


No man likes to have his intelligence or good faith questioned, especially if he has doubts about it himself. - Henry Brooks Adams
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 654
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 654
Father, thank you for the wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ that you have brought to this forum. Lord, I am thankful that you are still on the throne. Father, I pray for each marriage here, I pray Lord that each relationship be of your will.
Father, thank you for the forgiveness of our sins and Lord, I just want to thank you for WHO you are. Lord, you are worthy of our praise.
Father, thank you that you can take what the devil means to harm us and turn it around for your glory. Not our glory, Lord, but for yours.
Father, all I can say is thank you. Thank you that you loved us enough to send Jesus, your only son, to die for us. Thank you at this time of the year we celebrate his birth. And father thank you for bringing Him to the earth, to walk about as a man, to be sinless, to bear every one of our hurts, our pains and our sin. Thank you Father that be was born, died and HE rose again. Thank you Lord, that we do not serve a dead saviour but a risen one.... We serve a Lord that has defeated even death.
Thank you Father for your holiness, your worthiness, your greatness, your love, and your grace and mercy.
Father, bless each one of these special people. Lord, I know you hear their prayers and their cries and Father, I pray that whatever you have in your will for them, that it be done.
In Jesus precious name,
Amen

Be blessed this Christmas Season....


Thanking God for His grace every day!
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
Thank you for the lovely additions to this thread... and please, anyone who drops by, know that you are being held in prayer today!



Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
Quote
please, anyone who drops by, know that you are being held in prayer today!

"That's the fact, Jack!"

Blessings!

S&C <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


No man likes to have his intelligence or good faith questioned, especially if he has doubts about it himself. - Henry Brooks Adams
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
Quote
Quote
please, anyone who drops by, know that you are being held in prayer today!

"That's the fact, Jack!"

Blessings!

S&C <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

It is, indeed!

I'm trying to remember to bring this up weekly... so... **bump**!!!



Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
We're still here... seeing who needs prayer and praying for YOU...



Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
Wow, has it already almost been a month since this was last bumped up?

Praying for you...

[color:"blue"] PS: Ladies who would like to join our MB Ladies Bible Study discussion on Joyce Meyer's Woman to Woman are welcome to do so by clicking HERE! [/color]



Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 977
I was thinking of this forum this morning and said a prayer for everyone who has posted in it.

I want to add a little something publicly.

Heavenly Father,

You know what the hurts and issues of each one in this forum are(and outside of it, too). You know what needs to happen in each and every situation. Please provide whatever it is.

I know confusion is not of You, so please bring peace. Bring families back together and restore relationships, both with loved ones on earth and with You. Sometimes when things are really tough it's hard to remember to turn to you, especially when we feel unworthy. Remind us that we can ask You to provide and heal. Sometimes we forget, especially when we're in pain.

Thank You for listening to my prayer, Lord. **May everyone here know that they are being prayed for today**.

IJN, Amen.




Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Bump!


Just passing through...
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Heavenly Father,

Please let this thread be a reminder to pray, reach out, and let someone know they're being thought about today.

This forum is filled with hurting people. Please bring knowledge, hope and healing to those in need.

For those who are wayward, [censored] their hearts.. for those who are betrayed, be a balm on their hearts. Lord, let these marriages be healed.

Give the children of these marriages a restored family... Until then, I pray the children have a safe, secure, happy place to be themselves... with as little suffering as possible.

Bring someone into the lives of these families who will be an inspiration... to heal the marriage... to look to You... and to be a comfort...

Cover all with your grace - the most beautiful word in the world... grace... precious grace.

IJN, Amen


Just passing through...
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 4,698
I didnt even know this thread existed. thank you for having a heart and calling for this. Thank you for the prayers for the children.

Thank you
Lil


Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Q
Member
Offline
Member
Q
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Still praying...

Be sure to look at the number of "Views" on your thread. See all those views? Those are the times people looked at your thread and thought about (and/or prayed about) YOU.

Don't be discouraged. We're here... we don't want to miss anyone... or hurt anyone who feels left out... so we don't reply to threads here and there... we just pray.

God bless you today!


Just passing through...
Page 2 of 3 1 2 3

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 110 guests, and 60 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ViiMege, kalmiya, holderroger508, Seraphinang, ScreamArt
71,920 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Advice pls
by BrainHurts - 12/24/24 02:50 PM
Question for those who have done coaching
by Blackhawk - 12/12/24 11:08 PM
Newbie here. Advice appreciated. MLC??
by Dynamiq - 12/06/24 05:02 PM
Separation
by BrainHurts - 11/27/24 08:59 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,619
Posts2,323,475
Members71,921
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5