If you mean from the woman's perspective, then I can mostly agree with you. Pregnancy and childbirth are going to affect a woman's career. Some women can get right back into it, some never go back. A lot depends on the line of work and the workplace itself.

If you mean from the man's perspective - well, the man doesn't pause. My point is that if the best job a guy can come up with is part-time at Burger King, maybe he shouldn't think about having kids right now. Maybe he should think about going to community college or learning a trade, so in 4-5 years he will be in a better position to support a family. Maybe he should *gasp* plan ahead a bit, try to get that degree or certification and a couple years' experience under his belt first.

In my experience, expenses always expand to suck up all available income. If you wanna wait till you can "afford" children, that day will never come.

It's right up there with couples who shack up and say they can't afford to get married.

Mrs. W and I just discussed this matter.

It reminds us of a friend of ours.

She has repeatedly replaced the bad in her life with what she perceives to be good.

This is what your wife wants to do. Instead of really dealing with the issues and reality of what she did and what she needs to do to fix herself and your marriage she wants a baby to make it all go away. The baby will give her something positive to look forward to, instead of looking back at the negative. If you knock her up - you and your marriage must then take a back seat to her and her pregnancy. Recovery IS essentially avoided.

3 years from now when it's all bad again. You're working your butt off to support your toddler and she's at home and work building resentment and undoubtedly feeling "bad" for herself again (as all parents of small children sometimes feel)...just how and where is she going to seek something "good" again to fix the bad. Another OM, alcohol and drugs, the party life, an old high school boyfrien????

Don't allow for this childish behavior. You two are both grownups now. Having children is a serious issue. Waiting a few years won't kill you ...it's just makes your friends kids a few years older (great...more hand me downs and maybe even a babysitter or two for ya).

Be the man and lead your wife and you to a wonderful, whole, recovered marriage based upon MB Principles. Go to an MB weekend. Post. Read. Build an affair-proof marriage. Have fun and be young and irresponsible for awhile. Grow up (her) and grow TOGETHER.

Finally...if she refuses, don't foolishly negotiate the "having a baby" issue to appease her. Babies are NOT a cure to marital woes nor your wife's immaturity.

Good luck,

Mr. Wondering