Seems liek you and your W are just using people. How about this for a suggestion. Grow up and treat other people the way you would like to be treated yourself.

There seems to be some confusion here, my wife and I are not living together, she moved out and filed the D. I did not go on a date to make her jealous. I starting dating so I could start getting on with my life. The other person that I am dating knows what my situation is; we just went out for dinner and a few drinks. I am not using anybody. I have not professed my love for her; we just enjoy each other’s company.

I am tired of all of the lies and the waiting for her to come to her senses, its nobody’s fault that this has went on so long, except for my own. I accept full responsibility, for staying.

Low and behold, when my wife found out I was dating she came unglued, I no longer owe her anything, and she chose the path that she is walking. However, when she came crawling back, it made me wonder if she was telling the truth, or just trying to get control of me again. She knows that I still have feelings for her, and I am afraid that she is just playing me again.

I anybody here on this board thinks that setting at home and dreaming of the way it could have been and feeling sorry for themselves, is the right thing to do, go right ahead. Life is to short.



mkeverydaycnt, reach up your butt and grab yourself by the ears and pull your head out.

Keystone

Keystone2005, thanks for the kind words to me......I dont think alot of people on this board would agree with my POV, but I always speak what I feel......whether others may agree or not. I personally have been where you are.....Im divorced now, but I had a former wife that throughout my marriage was never happy. One minute she wanted a divorce, the next....lets have a child, the next, lets seperate, I want a divorce, Im not happy, I love you.....I want a divorce, this time Im going thru with it. She did.......3yrs later, I miss you and my family, I wish I could turn back the hands of time.....lalalalalalalala.

Jeez, there comes a point where you just say "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE".....and you just want out. I personally think since you dont have kids together, and your stepkids are grown. I would just move on and enjoy the rest of my life.

Life is NOT meant to be filled with turmoil, hurt, betrayal, and lies ALL the time.

Where is the joy?

Startinover, you and I have eaten some of the same dirt, because you hit the nail on the head. I felt I was on a rollercoaster.

One day she would want a D and then a week later she could not live without me. This has gone on two years, and yet here I am, still trying to figure out if she really wants to stay. I never had the intention to try to hurt her, I still love her, if I really believed in my heart that she wanted to stay and work on it I would.

However, I asked her this mourning if she was coming back home and she told me once again that she did not know what she wanted to do. I do not think, I can go thru another year waiting for her to clear her mind. I just needed to get some other views on this.

Keystone2005

Hey, did we have the same wife. This sounded exactly like my current wife! Never happy wanting out, I love you...I hate you. I couldn't agree more.



yup, mine wants to stay married but after years of her having one foot out the door I want it to end. At some point you have to cut your losses.


I agree with this also Startinover. Keystone it is amazing how when you are married to someone they treat you like crap and then when you decide to move on they expect you to pine for them the rest of your life.

Don't listen to her anymore look at her actions. She wants you to be the back-up just in case OM does not pan out. Do what you want but don't blame her when she makes you miserable.

My wife is doing this right now. Couldn't seem to stand me since she said "I do" treated me like crap for years and cheated om me. As soon as I caught her told her fine I get the message you are now free to do what you want she wants me now Go figure.

When we first started dating she turned me down when I asked her out a few times. I then told her OK, I would not ask her out again. I then noticed her showing up evertime I went out?? Next thing I know she asked me out. My point is when I started showing interest she was not interested, when I gave up and moved on she pursued me? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

The pattern continues til this day. When I treated her well and tried to make her happy she couldn't stand me. Now that I have moved on she can't stand it?

When I treated her well and tried to make her happy she couldn't stand me. Now that I have moved on she can't stand it?


That is exactly how my EX was.......her own parents said she would never be happy. Before our divorce, our pastor asked my EX why she was unhappy, she said "I dont know....Its just me", I just feel like Im missed something in my life" What? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Anyhow, Im happily remarried (3yrs now) and a simple email in the morning "I love you, have a wonderful day" makes her (wife) jump thru hoops. Ahhhhh, so refreshing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />