Thanks Orchid. I will do the search. Alas, I think her only real issue is a flawed character, and I can't call that un-safe. But I will look into it.

I will say that I'm squeamish about the future, since WH likes to take the kids to worthless BIL house to swim in the pool. Since DD9 is probably going to be openly hostile to the 21 year old, I'm guessing the young lady is gonna be hurt. I'll tell the lawyer that I'm concerned she might drown the kids or something. It's certainly a possibility for someone who has no kids of her own, and is just trying to have fun playing mommy. Gonna be a wake-up call when my kids treat her like the piece of trash she is.

BTW, I've got your number, and I'll try to call tomorrow afternoon. Kiddies are always underfoot, so it's tough right now to get on the phone to really vent. I'll sneak away sometime tomorrow I hope! Thanks again!

(((SC)))

Just wanted to tell you I'm thinking about you.

Remember, there are A LOT of people here who have a clause in the seperation agreement that OP is not allowed around the children for XX amount of time or until the D is final. Ask your lawyer about that....and maybe throw BIL in the mix as well...since his judgement is obviously so flawed.

- Kimmy

Oh...and NAME her specifically if you can.

Again, ask your lawyer.

Post deleted by Pepperband

Pep, you have a beautiful mind....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

Ditto <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I did that 2! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

what's cookin' ?

Pep

I know. I keep checking back.

I wanna know what the lawyer said.

Waiting on pins and needles here SC. Flare prayers are hovering over your house!

- Kimmy

Met with the lawyer. I think it went pretty well. He said I need to look after a few assets, but most are not liquid and would require fraud for WH to get out.

I'm going to presume that WH has figured out that I'm on this board, so I can't give away too much of the details. Suffice it to say, my filing should be done by tomorrow or Monday.

WH and I are meeting tonight without the kids. It is my hope to be completely civil, despite the fact that I know I'm going to hear some really foggy talk.

I do not know how hostile WH is going to be--we haven't spoken today. I'll fill you in tonight. I'm saying it again--I'm keeping my COOL!!!!

Now, when I come back in a few hours, we'll see if I was able to keep my promise!

Thanks all, for the support!

Post deleted by Pepperband

Post deleted by Pepperband

Sorry, guys, It looks like he hacked me. Looks like he found any emails I've had with wonderings, or orchid, or anyone else. This whole thread is compromised, so please don't say anything that we don't want WH hearing. Looks like he spent the whole day going through til he found it.

I guess toolman is really quite the tool... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I am sorry.

At least he has no way of knowing what the 3 of us talked about on the phone the other day. After he goes to sleep tonight you should implement part of it.

Mr. W

Agreed.

Let's all say hello to Toolman!!! Hi Toolman!!! Hope you're having fun reading about all the pain you've caused our family.

Hope you are enjoying the pain you and K and BIL have caused our little girl and little boy.

Anyway, here's hoping this can all be ended soon.

The most ironic thing was that I sincerely believed that Toolman understood when he read Pat's links and some of the other stuff on this thread. Instead, he resumed contact with the OW, and instead of having a civilized divorce, where the children were protected, he had to go and parade his mistress in front of my children. I hope someday to help someone else with this NC thing by hearing my story. Right now, it just smarts a little too much.

Wonderings and Orchid, I apologize in advance if you receive any emails from WH. Please know that he wasn't always like this--but he has turned into some alien that I cannot recognize anymore.

Sc,

No worries. Hope he does write. Luv to chat with him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Btw, u still have our support. He will have to dig hard to make up stuff and if he does, ask if he is changing his profession to a fantasy writer.....they have a course for that on the mothership. LOL!!!

L.

Your children should be protected from exposure to Uncle Toolman too. How despicable that he would participate in the destruction of his neices and nephews marraige. If he is a God parent...relieve him of his duties and edit any estate plan documents naming him as guardian of your children should you both die, if any.

W

Unconstructive rant at Toolman removed.

I'm sorry you're going through this, stonecold.

Thank you all for such amazing posts. I honestly do not know where I would be without the support of everyone on this board. Having kept all of this a secret from family and friends, I would have gone crazy. Furthermore, because everyone on this site has been touched by infidelity (some in more ways than one), it's helpful to get all the input from knowlegeable folks. You have been-there, done-that.

Ok, this will probably take a while to get out, so I'll break it into pieces:

Good news is that it doesn't look like toolman is going to try to clean out the accounts or do any crazy $hit like that. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. Of course, I didn't think there was contact again, either....

Ok.

So apparently the A started back up about 2.5 months ago, when OG MOVED to our town!!!!! Yep, even WH said when it happened, he started thinking fatal attraction, but, oh, she's such a nice young thing....

He says that he stopped bringing the kids around OG when our MC told him in a private session that the children should NEVER be exposed to this kind of stuff. Claims that the babysitting experience was just that--he called her to "baby sit" when he couldn't find anyone and really needed a break. (We had had a fight, and I stormed out, and went to...the grocery store. Apparently he thought I was going on a bender and gonna come back and beat him and the kids...like that happens all the time or something! Pretty amazing what you can convince yourself of what you're capable of when you're completely in the fog.)

Maybe he's right, but that was enough for me to piece together that the A was back on, and that he was parading the kids in front.

I'm going to write more, but it's been a long night. WH and I met for about 4 hours, first at a restaraunt, and for the final half hour in the car. I started to break down at the end, when the full tragedy of our loss started hitting me...kinda like a death in the family. So, I've probably cried more in the last half hour than I have since, well, the first discovery of the A.

I'm going to go back and check when my posts started to get more hopeless. I have a feeling, it was a couple of months ago....gee, I wonder if there is a coincidence there?

BTW, Wonderings and Orchid, WH CLAIMS he has not read your emails yet, but was trying to figure his way around the MB site to find me, and thought my emails were going to have links to my thread. He says he won't read them if I don't want him to, but I told him it really doesn't matter, since I will presume he has read them...no credibility anymore.

SC,

Sounds like you had a fairly decent discussion. Ok, so the Toolman still hasn't lost it all? Good.

Now whether he finds this post or not, doesn't matter. Your method of execution stays right on course ok?

See we already know the WS' actions. His plan is to hurt the family. Ok. So what other surprises does he have? Nothing worse. He already exposed himself by becoming a Ws. The degree which he may take it is up to him and your degree of protection is up to you.

You now have it from his mouth that the kids around the OW is the wrong thing t/d. Good. Now you can build on helping him see via his own words how the A is not good for your family. For now leave the M word out. Present your issues as coming from your family and for your family. It is much harder when a WS has to buck the family vs the BS.

Btw, if toolman wants to e-mail me....let him. It's ok. I got an Xws in my house who w/b willing to talk with him if he wanted.

Also there's a guy named Steve Harley that Toolman s/b familar with and he'd like to talk with him also. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Then there's the rest of us here at MB just waiting for him to post. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

See the support?

take care,

L.

>I got an Xws in my house who w/b willing to talk with him if he wanted.

Me too. Not that he'd talk online...but the WOokie has made the proper noises about helping WHs "see the light"....if anything, he can point out how bunny boilerish that move was that OW made....and WE KNOW BUNNY BOILERS now....

If'n he thinks thats the end of her psycho, he is sadly and seriously mistaken.

But...if YOU need me, to yell to, listen or whatever my addy is niosgirlatyahoodotcom.

(((SC)))

- Kimmy