Post deleted by Pepperband

Ok, new developments. WH came in and woke me this morning at 6:30: "I need to tell you something, and you're not going to be happy about it. Can I have your word that you will be reasonable?"

Me: "Huh? Yeah, ok, what is it? I think I'm wrung out from being mad."

Tool: "Well yesterday, when you took the kids to (the next town) I thought maybe you had snatched them for good. So....I called DCF."

Me: "What are you talking about?"

Him: " Well, I was worried about the children's safety, so I called an filed a report. After our talk last night, I realize that you really DO care about our family, and I was surprised when a social worker called and said she HAD to make a home visit."

Me: "You did what?" (Still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes after about 3 hours of zzzz)

Him: "Anyway, they're going to be here any minute, and need to see the kids. We don't have to wake them."

Me: "Ummmm....Ok? I guess I better brush my teeth and put on some clothes."

So the social worker shows up. Our LOCAL POLICE officer shows up (remember, I told you we are politically active in the community). I get to sit there while this stranger reads me a report that says something like this:

Toolman called us yesterday, and we couldn't see you because you had removed the children out of the county. He contends that you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder and have refused to take your medication. He also contends that you are a drunk and you have beaten the children on several occasions. He is in fear for the safety of the children, so we have been called in to investigate. May we please see the chilren and how do would you like to respond to this? I will provide officer (who knows you personally) a copy of all this for your small town record.

Since the children are sleeping, we will come back in three hours to interview them. Oh, you had plans to take the children to the beach for a special playdate with friends at that time? I GUESS we can come in about 5 hours.

See ya at 3pm. (That's about a half hour from now, BTW.) More details to follow.

BTW, Mom called, Stepdad's heart stopped last night, and went into A-Fib. They have him back to normal sinus, but now is suffering from an attack of gout, that they are not treating. He has about 7 tubes sticking out of him, and is in the midst of nicotine withdrawl from abrupt smoking cessation after 2 pack a day habit. I should be down there today, working with his healthcare team. He doesn't have a general internist, so no one is pulling everything together. If he decompensates, and I am sitting here waiting for DCF, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

He is SO going to he11.

Oh and TM (should be BM right now)...

Police and CPS don't look so favorably upon vindictive and manipulative FALSE reports.

Think you should know that.....

You are only injuring YOUR case by not controlling yourself.

SC,

WHAT?!?!?!? I am appalled. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> What an azz.

Ok, now you have a lot on your plate. I am sorry about your dad and know you need to get to be with him ASAP.

Call child services and let them know you have a family emergency in another town. Let them know you need them to review your case immediately so you can go help your mom take care of your dad's care and coordinate medical assistance ASAP.

Then let them know you find the charges false and want it to go on the record that he is WS having an affair. Name the OW and give address info if you have it. Let them know you are shocked he would make up stuff and hurt his family. Let the police know that since this turn of events, you and your children no longer feel safe with someone willing to be disruptive in your household.

Contact your lawyer ASAP.

Do you have any friends or family that can help you take care of stuff on your dad's side or even at home on the legal end? Maybe watch the children for a while?

I know you are not sitting around here. You have my number, call if you need. Ok?

take care,
L.

Post deleted by Pepperband

Post deleted by Pepperband

Added thought: Do not try to explain every charge. There will be time for that later. Concentrate on the fact that there is an A going on in his pants, your family has been subjected to harassement and now false charges are being filed against you and your family. Make sure to mention your father's critical situation so everyone can see the gravity and stupidity of his charges. WS' have no respect for any law (legal or moral) either.

L.

This guy should be drawn and quartered!

For all,

Remeber we need to give SC support but be careful what we post here. If he is a true WS, he may be stupid enough to try and use some of what we post against the BS and family. It won't stick well but he may try. Let's work on disarming the mad Toolman.

L.

Thanks all! I think they're pulling up now. I'll keep you posted. Yes, Orchid, you are right. Toolman WILL read what we are writing here, so we must be careful. Thanks again...I'll be back later.

Post deleted by Pepperband

Whew! Ok. Still got the kids (for now). Just wanted to update ya'll, but I'll post with more in a bit.

Luckily, the social worker got called away on an emergency because some newborn just tested positive for barbituates, so she decided she could only OTC one family in a night, and I guess I wasn't that unbalanced.

Honestly, I think she's starting to see the picture, so hopefully this won't follow me too long. We will see.

Yes, pep, I got all your posts. If anyone has anything confidential to tell me, how's about you bury it in another thread. You can hint to where it is, and since I know my way around MB much better than tool, I can probably find it quickly.

Heavy sigh....

At least my kiddies will be sleeping with me tonight. Suffice it to say, I think toolman has realized how serious it is to say what he did, in the days after Andrea Yeats' trail. Social workers cannot mess around when you start saying that stuff!

Time for you to put stuff in writing. Keep a log of events. Document his coming, going and babble. Date time the stuff.

You can share the written stuff or do it verbally but do it.

Also send the info to a safe place. E-mails are good since they go to the received and he can't delete what the receiver gets. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

If he sees this info, so what? I haven't told you anything earth shattering....unless u r a WS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

What Orchid just said.

I can't tell you how helpful it's been keeping a handy dandy notebook.

Well, I'm just spent.

Just realized I haven't eaten all day. Guess I've been running on adrenaline. Now it's all starting to hit me, and I'm exhausted. Guess the adrenaline stopped pumping when DCF left.

Toolman actually "high-fived" me to say, "yea, we did it, they're not taking the kids!" Ugh.

I feel like a dirty mop that has been wrung and wrung out. Hoping sleep will overtake me, but I need to deal with the Stepdad situation, too. No one over there seems to be able to handle the situation, and I'm the most medically knowlegable and most forceful advocate he has.

Post deleted by Pepperband

Actually, the house is already clean. Remember? DCF was coming!!

BTW toolman and I didn't clean it...we have a terrific housekeeper who now may be called to talk about what she's witnessed. Thank God!!!

Toolman just took the kiddies to the 7-11 for candy, and then a trip to the park. Guess he hopes to buy their favors. No, seriously, that used to be part of our routine--toolman took the kids for treats on Friday afternoon. Yet another thing that will NEVER be the same again. Guess friday afternoons are now going to be the days that we transfer custody.

....Very....Heavy....Sigh....

So I found this post on another thread from right after WH started back with the little girl...boy was I not seeing the truth!!! I thought he was using the "controlled separation" to do some partying, but obviously thought his affair was long over.....
Hope someone else will benefit eventually from my mistakes and my current pain.


Re: Straignt from Steve Harley on SEPARATION [Re: aislinn]
#3032344 - 06/07/06 08:31 AM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



We went to MC yesterday (the one who gave us "should I stay or should I go?"). H was really hoping she would encourage the Controlled Separation (CS). She didn't say anything about it. H was disappointed. He brought his little book with all the forms, hoping to escape the M.

He even said afterwards, "Why did she give us this book to read, and then not pursue it?" Well, I think she gave us the book because she thought **I** was about to file for the D. She probably saw CS as the best way to slow things down.

MC came into the process a little late in the game, as we've been to many MC's and beaten the dead horse, so to speak. She seems to find our stubbornness unimaginable. That was our first MC session in about 6 months, and we both hate to bring up anything painful or difficult, lest it "rock the boat" of our already harmonious disharmony.

H still walks around with his little book, hoping I agree to the CS. He's kind of formed his own little CS, by spending many nights at his brother's house, and encouraging me to stay with my mom whenever possible. Doesn't look good, but at least he's not banging the little 21 year old anymore. Small token, I guess.

--------------------

What a day you've had. I can't believe her turned you into CPS. Does he EVER think about the consquences of his actions, or is he all about being right and getting even? Did it occur to him what it would do to your kids to be put in foster care or be questioned by a caseworker? I've heard about WS's having their heads up their butts, but this is an all new low.

I'm glad that you don't sound angry. You're probably too exhausted for it. The anger saps your energy and clouds your judgement, so keep that in mind.

I'm so sorry. Don't trust him. He cannot be trusted one tiny bit.

Try to get some rest and recharge yourself. As bad as this all is, remember that it will get better. I'm sure that he's been dragging you down for years with his negativity and his rejection of you. You'll probably find yourself feeling so much better about yourself and life in general when he's gone for good. A decade from now, you'll be settled into a happy relationship with an adult man of character and Toolman will be wrinkly and miserable and filled with angst and always looking for some young woman to make him feel worthwhile. As much pain as he's causing you, he's doing you a favor to get out. You've probably got 40 years minimum in front of you. You'll be able to spend it with someone who isn't so self-absorbed and superficial.