mlhb...yep. I have ZERO TOLERANCE. period. nada. zilch.

What is disturbing and now Trix from the other board here (gq2) has me worried...and yea, it was in back of my mind the whole time...THE HO IS A REAK OK? She is. He told me the reasons he broke up w/her in first place and warning...not for faint of heart ok? she's had 3somes...one with BEST FRIEND AND HER H...so she's an OW ho. Some with 2 guys. She has been a lesbian. Lived with a girl when her son was very young. She's had a revolving door of men but when she met J, she pretended to be all innocent and professional. She is a total freak! She once tried to get him to take her to a strip club if you can believe that one...

so I am here worrying b/c my could be bf went out with his former live in girlfriend from the firm who happens to be a purebred [censored]-fied sex freak.

That is a settling though isn't it!

Now you guys wonder why I am freaking out too.

As I am NEITHER FREAK NOR FRIGID...but do consider myself a hot former x housewife...could fit on wisteria lane quite well <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

But I am not like this girl...noooo ma'am!

And here is the poor potential serious bf of mine....CELIBATE FOR A MONTH...and here's the she predator at the office and he's the seal and she's the great white shark....

supposedly last month she called him (because then he told me about it) and she said to him "I hope you know I am getting married to X. But I am really in love w/somebody else. Think you know him...but sad thing is, he doesn't want me." That's what she told him. Sure did. She found out a few mos. ago that he was seeing me, and she upped the ante a few hands....

she quickly moved in with the first guy who pretended to be serious w/her...some guy who did work for their firm...and from what I'd bet she got him to ask her to marry her just so she could make my almost totally committed bf jealous!

This is the Train Wreck herself. A horrid excuse for a mom who's allowed multiple revolving doors of men (and women!) come into poor kid's life...and she refuses to own her actions...

she can't stand the fact that J bought and moved into his dream house without her. She can't stand the fact IT WAS ME WHO HE WAS DATING....as she burned and threw away all my old photos THIS FEBRUARY...two months before he and I had ever talked at all...She burned and got rid of them b/c she didn't want (as she said) "my ghost" in his house.

She even broke into his house in february after they broke up and went thru his caller id on his home phone. she found a female's number (girl he was set up on blind date with from his friends)...called it as J was not in his home...she called her cell and the girl answered WHILE SHE WAS OUT TO DINNER WITH j...and proclaimed to be his gf and asked "how does it make you feel that you're f'ing a man with a gf?"

That is how much of a Train Wreck this girl is.

He needs a lobotomy by even considering to go out w/her.

I am ashamed of him.

To tell the truth, his negative choice is about as far negative as you can get...almost as bad as my xh's marrying
the wistress who was a former lingerie model.

It almost makes me NOT EVER WANT TO GO OUT OR SPEAK WITH HIM AGAIN when I think of this. Right now...I DON'T WANT TO! i AM SICKENED AND SAD.

i hear ya peachy.. some of the women my ex was with would just make your skin crawl... and why? why with these women when he had me? intelligent, blonde, attractive, tan, well manicured well dressed me? wtf? i guess some men, when they have a classy woman, need to talk a walk on the sleezy side once in a while.

this is shedding a bit of a different light on this for now peach... mlhb

I think sadly many men suffer from the virgin/ho complex.

Me, being the somewhat (non frigid) virgin..

Train Wreck...the bigtime [censored] three way ho.

Peachy,

Sounds like the freak my H had his A with, knocked up twice, contracted an STD from, and is now marrying!! She is bi-sexual trash and I knew all along she was a walking disease. She was the joke of his office. I don't know your BF and I am sure he is great, but the type of woman he is attracted to is a red flag in itself. I hear you loud and clear...I was (am) embarrassed for my H that he could have been attracted to such filth in the first place.

As for the BF, no matter what "he decides" (his words) do not hurry this relationship! It seems some men want to marry girls like us but sleep w/sleezy freaks like that...girls that give new meaning to the song "Trashy Women". Take a lot of time to make sure your BF isn't one of them.

And good luck Peach. I know you are sad but you've gotten some great support here. I believe you have a fan club!

Hi justpeachy,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling sad tonight. It's very unfortunate that what sounds like 3 years of good times had to end. However, I really admire your strength and your ability to stick to your boundaries! You handled yourself with dignity and stuck to your guns about NO further contact unless he completely changes his mind about what he wants. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

I really suspect that I may find myself in your shoes someday, because I too will never put up with 3 people in a relationship ever again, in any form. Thanks for your post tonight. It reminded me a bit of what's important to me in any future relationship.

Oh, in response to "Why is this so hard?" - I'll offer what comes to mind off the top of my head here - it's so hard because you really were happy with this man, but you know better than to put up with anything remotely like a relationship with 3 people in it. Your heart has regrets, but your head tells you to stick to your guns. Perhaps, after some soul searching, he will make a full commitment to you. There's still some hope there. Or, perhaps not, and as you say, your happiness is independent of him, it's about you and your beautiful son, your family is what brings you happiness. You'll be okay, because you've got your priorities straight.

I hope you find something in what I've had to say comforting. Take care,

Jen

Edited to add: I'm a bit out of practice - I posted the above reply to your original post, and noticed after that there had been many other replies and updates since. OOPS! Sorry 'bout that!

I am guessing that this is right on the money. I suspect that the speed with which you decided that he is "the one" ended up scaring him. I know that you two had history from before, but still, the fact is that talking about commitment within a few weeks of dating someone is usually premature, and is likely to push someone away.

In my own experience, every time I am hasty about thinking that someone I met might be "the one", I end up getting burned. It is so much easier and better to just take it one day at a time, for months and months, before talking about commitment. You can't replace the value of time under your belt with hopes and prior history; if you do, you are likely overlooking some red flags. BTDT.

I am sorry that this happened, and perhaps he might still come back. And of course then you'll need to decide if you even want him back. But as always, the best thing you can do you is learn from this experience and apply it to future relationships. I'm sorry for your pain, peachy.

AGG

Prayers PLEASE! Hard hard night. Work and the xbf

My second to last patient today, a nice lady who was incidentally, dx with a terminal condition, coded on myself and a coworker today...the orderlies were late taking her back after the procedure to her room, and I went over to look at her, and saw she had a bit of difficulty breathing, even though her breathing was even...so he and I decided to bring her up to her room ourselves.

In the elevator inbetween floors, she quit breathing but still had a pulse...We ran her down the hall and called a code immediately and the team was there as we were in the room...nothing we could do. I helped the team and bagged her...she didn't make it. Almost same age as my dad..and I had and have had horrible flashbacks tonight of seeing her die as it was same way my father died...

So...I am sweaty and shaking all afternoon long. You always think, even if there is nothing more you can do, that you could do more. I have been sick to my stomach on verge of tears all night...in my specialty, luckily, we don't get alot of codes. But it was full blown "Er" this afternoon I can say..usually calm in my neck of the woods...and I don't take death easily..I feel it.

So I come home. I am still sweaty, shaky, and nauseous. I threw up tonight after eating dinner w/ds.

I got calmer..relaxed.

And it was at this very time I wanted desperately to hear the calm reassuring voice of my xbf or whatever he is now. NC for 3 days almost...and he left vmail last time.

So I reluctantly call. We talk for 15 minutes. He is kind and sweet. We are talking and he reassures me that legally I did all I could do as I think the culprit of her breathing problem was being overmedicated by the RN in mri/special procedures...when they had given her conscious sedation earlier....he was fine.

On cell phone. He said "I am at the house now and I've got to unload some ice cream and stuff right away so I will call you back and you can get this out of your system." I tell him that I will be either on my home or cell as I was going to myself take ds out for ice cream so I could just get out...drive a bit to relax and unwind.

He NEVER CALLS BACK...and it dawns on me. When we ended our convo suddenly, he was in his garage. WHY? any ideas?

I think I know.

I think she was at his house.

I think the Train Wreck was there.

Nothing else explains this.

I am done totally.

How in the ****** could he do this? How could he just not be there when I had such a serious day? When I was crying and so shaken?

As of today, he won't hear my voice again. Nope.

Either he earns his way back...on his knees...or I am forever lost.

I am so hurt tonight. So hurt.

And I had to during the code, talk to the lady's sister who was there...the whole time in the hallway. I was crushed to have to tell her the news. It crushed my spirit to have to do that today.

Please pray for me. I forever feel I could do more. I know it wasn't possible...It was out of my hands...and it's my hope that when I go back to school I can save a few more people...feel like the world's spinning...and then this with the xbf? I can now call him the xbf.

I am sickened on so many different levels right now.

PRAYERS PLEASE FOR ME...and for my patient's family.

Of course, prayers for you and the family. But, Peachy, you know you did all you could. It was out of your hands. You can’t save everybody; you’re not God. Would more schooling have helped yesterday? It doesn’t sound like it. Think of the good judgment you and your coworker used in personally taking the patient back to her room. A lot of people would have missed that. Death stinks, at least from this view, and somehow, even knowing everyone will die sooner or later doesn’t help much.

Peach, I'm so sorry....((((hugs)))))
You deserve someone so very wonderful...don't settle, okay? It sounds like some of the things you've learned about your bf lately are not the things you want or need....
I am praying for you and just want you to know I think you're doing great, and I know how hard it is to go through another breakup (if that is indeed what it is for you). It doesn't seem fair sometimes, but we keep plugging away until we find "the one"....There is someone better out for you, you just have to believe.
Let us know how you're doing, okay?
KK

Normally I don't say anything, but...this one I have to respond to.

Peachy, you can ignore this or whatever. But I must say, I have a very difference of opinion on your actions regarding this..

You told him - "I said "no I don't want to hear it." I said only contact me if and when you feel your choices are different and potentially permanent for us...for I am moving on with or without him...and that for now, it's without him."

But...when YOU want or need him, the rules are different? You couldn't believe that he would basically "ignore" Peachy in her time of need? I'm sorry...but...at 45 years old, if a woman thought that she could end a relationship with me for whatever reason, yet think she ought to be able to pull me out of her pocket when SHE had needs, well....

I'm sorry, Peachy. If...all is true and you basically were very adamant about no contact with him, then you were out of line to think that he should still respond to your wishes. Maybe I missed something, but it looked that way to me. You had basically sent the message that he was to only have contact when it was convenient for you.

That's not fair to him...


HCII

Uh...I didn't have a "whatever reason"...it was plain and clear. I didn't end it. I think his actions ended it for he and I. I don't do a triangle. Not at all.

I had a rough week and a horrid one. I called him b/c it was so difficult. I was not mean to him and it was he ...WAS HIM who went out w/his former live in girlfriend...so it's serious to me. Plus he "omitted" it to me also. I have not contacted him since his last call.

Not gonna.

I don't do mean things to him. I was straight up with him. It was HE who was not straight up with me. I think the catholic church calls it a "lie of omission" what he did.

Peachy,

Sounds like you had a rough day & night and I feel for you.

I understand that you had very good reason for stepping out of the relationship. I also understand the instinct to call recent xbf in times like that. That said, it does give conflicting messages to say don't call me until you are ready to commit and then call him. Until he is ready to commit, it seems to open you up to further hurt. Maybe next time you can call a good friend or relative.

You do deserve better, so keep moving forward until you find that person. If xbf catches up, great, if not, you're further ahead.

take care