My two oldest children, who were adult/nearly adult when their father left, have chosen to have absolutely nothing to do with him. One of them has not said a word to him since he left. Although it is sad that they do not have a father, at least they do not, apparently, feel conflicted. I think in a lot of ways it is easier for them than for the younger children. They want to have some contact with their father, but he does not allow three of them to visit him, and just takes them to dinner.

Hey CV! [waving] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I think the weather up here is just marvelous! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Such a nice breeze and all.
And my Oh my ........just look at that view. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

I'll be happy to call you neighbor. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

By the way,
I TOO was disappointed in these comments by LO:

My goodness, that is telling isn't it?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Not REALLY surprised at this attitude/belief ........however, I am largely surprised at the Honesty in addmitting it.
Wish more Would be just as Honest and REALLY put out what they Actually Think/feel.

Oh right.
They already did by their actions. Sorry I must have forgot that. My Bad <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Unfortunately,
blaming the Victim of an offense is NOT Taking RESBONSIBILITY for One's own actions and choices in Life.

Sadly,
the WS mentality tends to remain for far too many,
even once the OP is no longer around. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

So CV,
even though I initially left it alone,
I thank you for at least mentioning it and Not letting it just slide!

(And once again,
thanx for being someone that sees the issues much as myself ...Makes me FEEL not So Unique and Less Alone in my thought process). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

**************************

I can't speak for all,
[but from my Understanding]
those your condemning Perceive JJ's "sin" (as you call it) as being in a Continuous ONGOING Adulterous relationship.
Not too complicated a view actually:
If one engages in Infidelity ......and NEVER actually Stops .......then It is still an adulterous relationship up until the present time.

In other words a crime/sin must END before it can be repented of and forgiven for.
Tough to prove remorse/regret While in the midst of the Action.

Let's see,
examples or other only go so far as to illustrate a point,
But what can I come up with off the cuff??

OK, how bout this:
If someone becomes addicted to prescription medications by illegal means ......they are still an addict regardless.
If however,
some time AFTER their addiction starts --
they SomeHow convince a Dr. to Legally Prescribe them prescriptions for the same medications to abuse .......they are still an addict (even if they are TECHNICALLY now within the law).

Hence,
the Sin against themselves Continues ......even if now Legitimized to the world at large.

So although you don't agree (surprise?),
its not the past .....but the present that is the issue for many.

Anyway,
just attempting to help see that no one is misrepresented in the Ongoing multi thread approach.
In any case -- Carry on.

Lastly,
Perhaps she could just D her H for being a life long serial cheat .....would that help end the controversy?? who knows <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Any involvement in Infidelity seems to make for some sh*tty living, 4Sure!
Sad situation indeed (even when it IS by her own decisions).

(edited for my spelling typos --- Darn it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />)

Hey TR, glad you're my neighbor! For some reason the Mr. Roger's song is going through my mind.

Some interesting thoughts are still going through this brain of mine. This is the newest group. I started to think about M in general. Like what's the point being Med anyway? If people didn't make those darn M vows then there wouldn't be any cheating, right? Then it really wouldn't matter who posted here. We could just have a forum dedicated to R building. It reminds me of the M vows of this former friend of mine who I was the "matron" of honor at her 2nd wedding. Instead of "Until death do us part" they said "As long as we both shall love." Well, they loved for about 2 yrs after the wedding and then Ded.

Anyhoo, I was watching "The View" this morning and Jean Simmons was on with his partner who he's been with for 23 yrs and their 2 teenage kids. Yes, there will be yet another reality TV show about their lives. I generally think Jean Simmons is an egotistical jacka$$, but watched because it seemed to fit with what I wrote above. And it did! He doesn't believe in M. He said most Ms end in D. He said he told his unmarried partner the total truth before they moved in together, that he doesn't believe in M. So if he ever does move on with someone else I guess that person won't be an OW unless he lies about it. There's only one problem. His unmarried partner wants to get Med, and both kids would like to see their parents get Med. The daughter told him, "It's been 23 yrs you've been together. I think Mom has proven to you she's not after your money." So apparently this arrangement is only working for Jean.

Interesting though! I'm thinking if H and I did ever D I wouldn't get Med again!

One other thought going through my pea-brain. If a WS/OP who Med their A partner is seeking advice on MB, what would their agenda be in terms of helping a BS get her WS away from the OP? Would that be strange to give advice about how to Plan A or Plan B? Would they say, "You know, if my FBS would have done this or that I would dumped the OP who I'm now Med to in a minute?"

OK, I'm going back to my high and mighty loft now. There's a hammock up here. To get into the spirit of this discussion, I hired this cute guy to fan me with a giant palm leaf because it is quite hot during this heat wave. Adios Amigo! Stop by later, OK?