Ok... sorry I've been off, but WH has been home and things have been tense. Emails weren't of substance, but they WERE contacting. She was just saying "I'm lost" or the like. Nothing along the lines of "I miss you, I loveyou" etc.

Yesterday, I went to MC without WH. Told MC everything that had happened and why I'd had to go to CO. MC validated that I did the right thing. To keep fighting... to keep trying. This MC is pro-marriage and Christian. I am VERY fortunate. During that time while I was gone, WH emailed AND called her. I saw the emails from him to her... he stated he was calling her now.

By the time I got home, he confronted me about any emails that I might have saved. He knew I'd seen the ones from his original acct and worried that I'd saved those and gave them to CO. At that point, I felt I should tell him that I did give those to CO. That CO needed proof and that was what I gave. No I didn't save them after that... ;-)

Anyway, I told him that I was wanting to know if he'd contacted her while I was gone to MC. He responded "do you think I'm that stupid to risk my job? I have orders" To which I said, "Yes, you ARE that stupid. You haven't used good judgement so far and what is to say that you didn't take advantage of the opportunity?"

At first, he denied. He didn't want to give up any information. Eventually, he came clean with the secret email. AND then, he came clean about calling her. He wanted to know what I was going to do.

"I appreciate you being honest with me. I hope you realize that what you have done is violate those orders. That you have risked your own career by calling her"

He was broken... but again, not enough, I believe.

He doesn't know how I know certain things, but at this point, he knows that all I had to do was call the phone company to get the recent phone call records or that I could simply subpeona them. Anyway....

On to last night. A friend called me on my cell. I used that opportunity to call OW. Why? Because I needed to tell HER that she needed to back off and that SHE was risking her and WH career at this point. I knew I couldn't "threaten" WH with information, but I sure could OW. I had figured out their "code" of how to tell if it was HIM calling as opposed to ME. So, I did the code...

And she picked up.

Then, I told her:
May I speak to (OW)

This is she.

Hi, this is (willsurvive). WH's wife. I know we've never had a chance to actually meet. But I wanted to ask you again to stop contacting my husband.

"It's over. I'm going back to (homestate)"

Yes, I know. I'm very happy that you are. But you have not stopped talking to WH. And I know that you have been emailing and calling. This needs to stop.

"I haven't spoken to him. It's over. I'm getting out of military".

Yes, you have. And I DO have proof that you have. If you want to get the Article 15 against you, then continue. If not, then you will not reply back or call.

"yes ma'am"

Do NOT force my hand as you have made me do already. I do NOT want to be forced to go to CO but if you continue then I will have to.

"Yes, ma'am"

I sincerely hope that you and your husband can work things out. I truly wish the best for you and your husband. But you need to just go away. Thank you. Good bye.



Whether or not that was the right thing to do, I don't know. But I know that I felt it important enough to have her hear from my own mouth what was going on. To tell her calmly and politely to go away or that I will have to make them face even worse consequences.

I will confront WH if this continues. At that point, I will go into Plan B. He knows that I called her. That I told her to go away... that I felt I had to and why. No, he doesn't know that I told HER that I had proof. But he knows that I knew that they had contacted.

She actually sent an email this AM.
Here's what she said:
"She knows we talked last night. She called me and told me not to "force her hand" to tell CO. She is seeing everything we do somehow... so this is really the last time I will contact you. Otherwise she will go to CO. I'm sorry it got like this.
P.S. I loved your journal and I'm really sad that I had to delete it. Do not mention that you know she called me, or she'll know I told you. This needs to be the end."

I've deleted that out... simply because I don't believe WH needs to know about it. I know that if they continue to email, then there's nothing I can do. And I'm ok with that now. I've done everything that I needed to do.

After he knew about my phone call to her, he hit the roof. I didn't try to deny that I called. But after that, he admitted everything. And I know that it was everything.

He still doesn't "know" if he wants to stay. I've told him that I've not given him any reason for him to go and since he still loves me, that should be enough for him to want to stay and work this out. I am giving him a gift. Something that is priceless. But if he choose to leave, then so be it. I know that I have tried.

He is still VERY angry at me. He said that I could have done anything else other than what I did. I asked what...? He said, you could have made me not go to the gym in the mornings.... I told him that I had begged for him to try to rearrange things so he could. That CO would have let him go to gym with me at 8 am, instead... if he'd just asked. Yes, I KNOW CO would have done that.


To which WH just hung his head. For a moment, he was out of the fog enough to realize that I HAD done everything I could have.

I know, I may not have made the best choice about confronting OW. But I believe it was something that had to be done... and while she knew that my threats still were valid. If it continues (after HER goodbye email), then I will forward EVERYTHING to her H. (yes, I have all his information now... wish I'd been able to get it sooner....)

After I've done that... then I will move forward. Because if it DOES continue, then I know that Plan B will be inevitable and necessary.

WS,

Great Job! Well Done!

thank you Eagle!!!! I was hoping that someone would agree with my method! *whew*

I think you did extremely well!

willsurvive, you did VERY GOOD!!!! GOOD JOB! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

p.s. I think you "will survive," girlfriend. With guts and instincts like that, you have what it takes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You could be the Exposure Poster Girl!!!

Excellent!!!

Brilliantly done! And you still maintain your ability to get intel.

This is well done. They are both running scared...and still dont know how you know!! The OW is now scared enough to want to get away from your husband. He is too costly now!


Yes, she is. it is why I lvoe the military. we should have laws for civilians to be able to get this kind of relief also.

Now, you have a shot at your husband going thru withdrawal...and then truly seeing what your marriage could be.

But you are right. I hope you have saved ALL of these emails. And the NEXT contact, it will be time to forward to the CO.

Great job though! Perfect.

ditto!

Now the hard part comes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You're beyond where I got in my case, so I cannot speak from direct experience any longer - but based on other stories I've followed here, he'll remain angry for awhile. Be prepared for anything - keeping your cool head.

Well, he/she can still be useful. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

WAT

YOU ROCK

woo-hoo !!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... she's emailed AGAIN. He has NOT seen it. I've deleted it... but need some backup here!!

here is the email:

It was so amazing. Thank you for sending it. I wish I could have kept it... and all your pictures! I just don't know the extent of her computer skills or if she'd actually hire a hacker. I deleted everything. I signed the force shaping papers today and gave them to DO... H was estatic. I am trying to be but failing miserably. Did I tell you I actually talked to her? I should have known it wasn't you cuz you didn't leave a message. She called around nine... I guess you were out. Please don't mention it... she WILL TELL CO! That's all I have. Please be careful. Delete EVERYTHING and rememer that I love you.
P.S. This sucks.
P.P.S. If you need a place to stay one night I hear the Elegante Suites are nice ;-)

BTW: she is referring to an email he sent several days ago. He'd written down his thoughts and emailed them to her. It was pretty harsh toward me and all lovey-dovey to her.

should I call her again??? GRRRRRRRRRR

No, now I think you have enough to go to the CO and blow this little farce out of the water. Let them know they aren't getting away with ANYTHING.

Mys

First thing... I'll need to call her H. That's first on my list BEFORE I go to CO. But, I think i will need to wait until tomorrow...... he'll be at work and that's the number I have. No home number.

Good plan. You're doing very well!

Mys

No, I agree with Mys. Don't call her. You gave her a chance and she's blown it.

I was also thinking you should call her H before I saw your last post.

I recommend you go to the CO first, then call her H. Take a copy of the e-mail to the CO.

I know this is agonizing for you. But you're in control here and you know the right things to do.

WAT

Well, I guess calling him first is OK. I recommended telling the CO first because he (her H) might then call her and you could be intercepted before getting to the CO. Stranger things have happened. Think about this.

WAT

I wonder if they would try to meet up (her eluding to that hotel sent up red flags!!). I think they want to meet, and will if given the chance. And I dont think they would take long to set it up. They are foggy (which is why they continue this very risky behavior!).

I agree that OWH and CO should now be told. If the email stuff comes out, then your intel source will be gone...but that may not matter now! Or maybe the CO will have a way to still keep the source under wraps. I think they are starting to figure it out though, as she did mention about WillSurvive having a hacker or whatever.

But I tell you what...if they post that they are going to meet at a certain time at a hotel, I would contact the CO and if I was the CO...I would send out the first sergeant to "pick them up" and bring them back after being caught.

Keep up the fight.

OH,YEAH. You should go to the CO - first - and the OWH second.