BSA,

When OWH calls or his sons, can you speak what you feel? "I hear you're as hurt and devastated as I am. When you rant, I feel like it is at me, like you're attacking me for what my WH's choices. I feel worse. I don't hold you responsible for your WW's choices...we're on the same side. I think we could be productive together, being on the same journey."

Have you shared with OWH's MB, how to get here, about Plan A and Plan B? Speaking your heart and mind will not get you certain results...it is telling your very betrayed and hurt self that you matter...and you do. You're valuable...speak of this value.

Plan A is about you seeing in you your own choices, power and limits. Your tears may be falling nonstop partially from feeling powerless, helpless and constantly done to...you can change that...just your part.

Takes you making the vow to live in truth...seeing your WH separate from your H...seeing his actions as his...and yours as solely your own.

Fighting for your marriage takes you being grounded in reality, which takes knowing truth...and knowing your own.

You can do this.

LA

I guess I'm hoping he won't call again. And, I particularly don't want to start any sort of conversations with him. He IS threatening to harm my husband. He isn't rational. Thankfully he hasn't call in weeks; shortly coinciding with time husband left. Maybe he's given up on his wife and marriage?