2-5 years.

lol

1939-45 WW2

talking about fighting my battles.

she has never lied about anything before to me including having an affair.

so i trust her going to the beach ALONE

(but then again if HE calls her...........)

reverse exposure threaten him with information about documented going out with my wife to sites , shows , dances , etc.

then say i know your home # and where you live. she will be told.

She needs to know who she is engaged to......for 5 years.

then hang up. and wait for the storm.

nc007...

That's a BIG NEGATIVE on this "reverse exposure" plan of yours...NO...NO...NO...Here's why...FOREWARNED is FOREARMED...Do not nullify the most powerful weapon that you have in your arsenal...If you warn him he will simply go to his gf and warn her that some "nutjob" may call her and say that he is having an affair with his wife...He will paint you as some over jealous husband, and she will believe him...Then when you do really expose to her it will NOT work in your favor or hers...I know that that way seems like a good idea to you, but please believe me when I tell you that it is not...

I know this is really hard, but as 2long told you, this is no walk in the park...Batten down the hatches nc007, and get prepared for the storm...

When are you and your brother going to follow OM and find out where he lives? You must be brave and follow through with exposure...And nc007, time is of the essence here...You MUST do this sooner rather than later...She says she doesn't care about what you parents think, etc...Be prepared for that to change real quick once you expose to OM's gf...She will be madder than you have ever seen her...She will spew venom at you...It won't be pretty, but she will calm down...See, your marriage can survive anger, but it can not and will not survive an ongoing affair...The sooner you get this exposure out of the way, the sooner you will get your wife out of this fog...But you must act and act quickly...and you must reside yourself to not give up...I'm gonna tell you like I did in the beginning...nc007, MAN UP!!!

Mrs. W

yes big sis

(big in terms of maturity ONLY; no reference to ANY FORM OF PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES) lol.


sorry. needed the laugh.

you know what is so wild? i spoke to her girlfriend who told her what she was doing was total crap and very deceitful.

now this looked like it moved her world a bit.

remember. in jamaica the majority of phone users dont pay phone bills. we do prepaid cell calls. so unfortunately i am limited to the 1 cell # that i have for him.

the tracking time for OM will start maybe sometime next week with my brother-in-law. we both get vacation leave at the same time.

wish us luck.

i pray that her "time alone" was fruitful in a poaitive way.

thanks 2long for putting my situation in a practical light. to understand that this is just the tip of the iceberg. and it will take some time to even come close to normal is a reality i have to live with.

When i look on my son and God i realize that i cannot give up now. hard as it may seem.

i just pray one day she appreciates love. the one that fights to the bitter end. Hope it is not obsession.

sometime i still experience that yo-yo mood swing effect.
i wonder what she must be going through?

i love her.

nc:

At this stage of the game, 'time alone' for the WS is almost universally spent with the OP.

-ol' 2long

k. nuff said.

nothing much i can do about it today.

my time will come.

hello all. just checking in.

WW spoke to me yesterday. said that she felt even more depressed and confused. yes that she loved me and regretted even appearing on local TV talking about love for me a year ago. How we were in trouble .......yadda,yadda.

then said she wish she could end it. go away from everyone. how everyone use her for their own benifit till they have to go (OM?). that she doesnt care anymore. Its our son that hold her alive now.

then she finally blurts out. I hate myself.

told her i love her. she doesnt want to hear it. told her seek her happiness. she said she doesnt believe me.

i just left her alone and continue studying for my exams.

put on some music that we loved and got out of her way.

patience is a ****** of a thing.

i spoke to her about getting professional help. She doesn't want to hear it. Called her twice today. only to asked that she gets something to eat. she didnt have breakfast this morning.

wont call her for the rest of the day.

you know.............i really miss the long hugs and "i love yous"

funny you dont miss them till they're gone.

Sounds good

Just keep on being available to listen.

Ignore the fog talk

Stick to the do's and don'ts of Plan A

It appears OM may have called off the relationship. Doesn't mean he won't come sneaking around for another booty call. Eventually he needs to be exposed to his GF/Fiance to first keep him forever away from your wife (trust me if he thinks you and her will maintaint the secret he'll be back) and second...cause she has the right to know the truth about her life. Keep trying hard to get in contact with her.

Don't fret over her getting all depressed cause OM dumped her. It wasn't a REAL relationship anyway but she's not ready to process that herself so you don't have to tell her that ... just know it yourself. The rationalizations and justifications remain strong...which is why she's stating she'd rather be alone right now. Just be supportive. Keep meeting her needs and eventually, after a month of NO CONTACT she'll be ready to begin processing this stuff. Remember, YOU are God's first and only choice for her. Nobody will love her like you will and I pray she comes to that realization in the next few months. But it's again IMPORTANT for YOU to internalize that and behave with confidence and integrity accordingly. NO Love Busters.

Do you have the books Surviving an Affair, His Needs, Her Needs??? Good time to leave them laying around the house for her to pick up out of curiosity. Don't ask her to read them (that's trying to teach and won't be received well)...you are just reading for YOU. She can read it if she wants.

Good luck,

Mr. Wondering

i love you. lol. you too Mr. W.

i really needed this.

this guy is a real ******.

cant wait for my Vacation leave.

Respect...mon!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

he told her over a month ago that he wasnt going to leave his GF for her(can you imagine that she actually told me this?) then now with her best friend slamming her to the floor for deciving her and destroying her son's future....she took that pretty hard.

I realize that it is really hard to continue plan "A"ing for another 3-4 months.

To all BS out there my hats off to you.

sometime i realize that we need encouragement on a DAILY basis just to get through the day.

i post online all times i feel like calling her.
She is almost like my own addiction.

I am Glad that my son is gravitating towards me alot of late. i hope she will notice this. i dont know if this will impact her also.

hope it does.

Nuff Luv from the cool sunny isle of Jamaica.

One love.

Is WW abused backgroud having any impact on even our marriage now?

Guess what ?

My boss who approved the loan got vetoed by the account exec. due to the excess amt being loaned to all staff members this year.

what a way to not have that loan given out.

funny.... i realize that i was also using this to try and manipulate the situation with my wife.

Now the only person i can truly trust is God.

i feel totally lost. so lost of whats going to happen to us , my family. i am not depressed, just extremely hurt.

All she can think about is herself and the hurt she is causing me. why are this way to each other. why is hurt an instrument used by WS to inflict severe and sometimes emotionally fatal wounds?

Why do we take the abuse? It HURTS...........

why does my mind flood with the joys of WEDDING DAY and the day i gave her my virginity, and the time we giggled and tickled.........

why is this WW trying to emotionally push me away from her.

outside is like i am trying to hold it all together, yet inside i am being stabbed to death!!!

If she wants to go i wont stop her....but she will be destroying a wonderful future.

Will she ever wake up?

i cant deal with these emotions at work!

the loan will signify another failure on me to deliver a promise of change (maybe).

this is not "man up" time................i just hurt now DAMN IT!!!!!!

it pains me......

can it get better?

i am really trying

nc007...

Just wanted to let you know that I am here and reading...I'm really sick today-stomach flu with vomiting-YUCK...I'm not ignoring you, I just don't feel so hot...

I'm very sorry that this hurts so much, but yes it can get better...There are many success stories right here on these boards that are living proof that things can and do get better...Remember, "and this too shall pass"...You will make it and you will be stronger for it...

Honestly, I think the loan not going through is the best thing right now...Remember we talked about how right now she seems to want the benefits of being married while acting single...Nope, life doesn't work that way...This is for the best I believe...

If you haven't already, please order the book Surviving An Affair...Here's the link to do so...The book is also carried at bookstores, so you may want to check your area for it if you'd like to begin reading it sooner...

Prayers going out for you...This is a rollercoaster, and as 2long pointed out, it usually isn't a short ride...Hang tight, you can do this and you will be okay...

Mrs. W