Maybe i need that today...if possible please see my post.

its been going 4 months and i let her get away with alot of things. thinking out of love. Now i am starting to loose that love for her.

then you have the kids.

You see...emotions are going to play alot in out trials as "Men Of Honor". There are times when we are going to fall but we have each other here online to pick us up.

Now whatever happens we MUST be the best we can for our kids. Thats something that the OM could never take from us.

Lets not fool ourselves, the kids know instinctively who to go to and trust. I take it we EARNED their trust and damned if we are going to let an A destroy our love and care for them...and funny enough.....................our WW.

Got to be here for each other.

sorry guys......just really feeling bummed out today.

Mr. A... don't let your anger control you. Don't be spiteful... when it's time to make a decision, just keep asking yourself what's best for your family. I've been doing that and it seems to keep me in a state of calmness.

Over the next few weeks big decisions will be made in my house. At some point, I'm probably going to sit down with my 14 year old daughter and tell her about her mother's actions. I DO NOT WANT HER TO HATE HER MOTHER. I want to teach her to love her mother and how to forgive like God forgives us for our actions.

I have forgiven my wife for her actions, and I'm not going to go for custody, the house, and child support to hurt my wife. I'm going to do it to protect my family. That's it... no other motives.

Keep your cool guys.

Lord, Jesus Christ
You are the light of the world.
Fill my mind with your peace,
and my heart with your love.

Try saying that when you're becoming very negative, scared, angry, whatever... it helps me every day.

i second that, be good and keep safe. Have you ever consider that the real target was you? To allow you to grow beyond any possible thought that you may have had for your life?

You are being worked on by God. Trust me HE knows what is happening, its not like HE is caught off guard. The question is how are you going to handle it?

Become better ,stronger, and more attractive to everyone who comes in contact with you.

Always question your motive and feel free to post em here.

Remember, protect your kids........love them and try to feel more sorry for your WW, she has no idea what she is doing to her future. And pray that God pull her out of her fog.

pray for me too.

gotta expose my WW OM

I will pray for you, trust me on that.

I feel for you, have to expose that - I actually thought getting married meant leaving all the sill games behind... I was WAY wrong there.

My wife still TEXT MESSAGES ME, trying to be all friendly...though on the backside she is a puppet it seems and is being ocntroled whether by mind or matter..lol. Alien invasion as some put it on here... I think she has been abducted.

I just want to ensure my daughter staying with me, and she can leave... and I will be perfectly fine with that. Only problem is, she wants our daughter too...I just feel she wants her more for financial reasons. When I saw that she wants exclusive rights to claiming her on Tax Return from here on out. Kinda speaks volumes for a girl who just a week ago, agreed to shared custody and no support - just split the costs. Of course I would pay mor since I make more..but she went for the jugular when she asked for full custody and support, only giving me visitation. Taking the car I have paid for pretty much on my own since she doesnt pay for didley... wow she pays for groceries and 40 a week for daycare... wow - try paying 800 mortgage, 160 for phone/tv/internet, 190 for electric, 70 for water, 235 on a loan, 320 for car, and 125 for insurance.And thats not even counting the other bills and crap... thats just the major stuff.

She is lost in space, and I will be beaming up with Scotty and taking my kid back to earth and leaving her to be picked up by Haleys Comet!!!

LMAO.............anybody dreamed that they would have been here?

Go get a GQ mag. and get a few shirts and dress to kill.

Shave. Look GOOD. be Attrractive. Have fun with your Daughter.

After all YOU have become a better Dad.

P.S. Get colonge. smell good too. make wifey winders the next time she sees you.

I need to do the same too.

question is, what kind of cologne...guess i should go to a store and ask the ladies what smells good on me...

u are right, i will do that when i get paid next...lol
she is leaving me for a loser and a chance to get hers kids back in her custody...which she would have to have the divorce to get... haha, not making it easy on her, and not gonna lay down and take it either

i am sure i will have to go through alot of drama in order to win, but i dont care...i want my daughter and someone who will love me unconditionally...not make me wonder and cheat and lie to me

keep the faith. Walt how u doing?

Mr.A please realize that i am in the same boat too. I am waiting for the next paycheck to "spruce up" hey..english leather works for me. Also something as simple as "park clothes" for recreation is good. much outdoor activity with your daughter is good.

Time will tell. Remember PRAY and leave it alone.(the anxiety that is)

I can tell you that i pray about u guys. Believe that.

Dont worry about the future. Work on today. The now.

Later.

I am with you guys stay strong...

I have the girls tonight and they informed me that WW has told them that she and OM will be going to Las Vagas in March for his hockey tournement... that stings, we haven't been separated 6 months yet and this crap just keeps coming in. She initially tried to tell me that she was going to move her and the girls to NY to where he is at. Well hopefully we have squashed that idea.

don't mean to thread jack but her is a day out of my custody log.....

September 5 Picked up girls at 4pm from house, had them bring their school bags – even though they said home work was done. Jenn was mad at me for having mail forwarded to new address. I told her I would bring by any mail that was her’s, but most of the mail received is bills and household mail and the house will be vacated soon, so the mail needed to be forward. She ranted about getting her’s changed back, I said why back she needs to find a new place for it to go. Went to walmart, bought some steak for dinner. Went back to apartment to fix dinner. On way there girls were saying that I would get them a whole week in march, because Mommy was going to las Vegas with mr mike for his hockey tournament. Why is she telling the girls this? Why should they know, even when their mother will still be married at that time. Got girls back to apartment, they helped set table. I started dinner. Morgan and Katelyn went outside and played with friends. Jorden went to her room to hang out and hang a new poster. Got dinner done, girls came in cleaned up and sat down for dinner. Did our prayer and ate dinner. Girls asked if Natasha and her brother’s could come over and watch akella and the bee with us. So they went and asked and they could. Morgan and katelyn helped the boys (6 and 3) sit down and behave while they watched the movie. About 7:30 Katelyn asked to call grandma. I said sure, Jenn answered Katelyn started to beg to spend the night with me. So did morgan. I had to take high ground and said that this is not the plan we have a plan right now and we need to do it. I then asked Jorden to ask mom if she wanted me to drop them off at MIL or home, said MIL. I got the girls packed up and we headed to MIL. Morgan wanted to know if it was alright to call me later I said sure. Jorden asked if I was still going to right for more time with them, I asked how hard should I fight, she said until I win. Katelyn said she wanted more time with me and that mom is more interested in mr mike. I dropped the girls off at MIL

I just need to add.....

my six year old just called me 20 minutes after she went to bed... she hid her sister's cell phone under her pellow and called me to tell me she loves me and wants to see me tomorrow but mommy said that they wouldn't... it took me 3 minutes of I love and hang up to get her to hang up... she is so adorable she is starting to have a hard time with this as they all are and they are seeing the WW truly for what she it.... okay she just called me back again to make sure she knew I loves me and that I love her.

if that is not reason to fight I don't know what is

That's a sad story, but I'm sure not that uncommon.

The wife was actually very pleasant in general last night. I found out that she got an appointment with a priest and will be seeing an attorney soon.

I like Frank Sinatra so I put some on with dinner. We all ate together. I felt like she was mocking me when a line came on about blowing on some other guys dice. She looked at me and laughed a little. Sick.

I also found out from my daughter that she said that I would "take them away" if we got divorced. My daughter snapped back "you're the one that wants to do this". My wife then said "you'd probably pick dad over me, right"? My daughter said she just broke down and cried saying that she didn't want to have to choose. I'm probably going to go out with my daughter for dinner one night and give her the details she doesn't know... the infidelity of her mother. I'm going to wait to see my wife's reaction to the conversation with the priest and the attorney.

It's funny, my wife is in a weird cycle. I really see her behavior largely tied to her menstrual cycle. The beginning of every month she contacted the last guy she fooled around with. Now its the beginning of the month and she's acting all happy when she's been in a dark cloud for the last several weeks.

I'm going to wait 24 more days before making a decision... at the longest. If she comes to me in two weeks saying it's not going to work, then I'm moving on to divorce.

I'm at peace with myself and feel fantastic. I feel like a huge weight is being lifted from me. I've worked so hard for so long to make her happy. I feel like I don't have to do that anymore if we go through with it.

A year ago we were closing in on the purchase of our vacation home. What a difference a year makes...

Went to the bus stop together today. You'd think that there would be SOME nestalgia or sense of family. All the fake stuff at the bus stop made me a little sick.

Then walking back to the house, I almost needed a winter coat with the coldness I felt.

She didn't say goodbye or anything. Just closed the door.

Well, that's not the only door that's closing. Her window of opportunity is dwindling. The meeting with the priest and an attorney will certainly be the moment of truth (reality?) for her...

I got up last night around 1:00 AM. Noticed my wife wasn't in the bed. Went downstairs and all over looking for her. She walked in the back door... must have seen the lights on. She said she couldn't sleep and went to have a cigarette (a fairly new habit of hers). I became suspicious... checked her cell but there were no calls made recently. Then I went online to check a few numbers I haven't had the chance to check yet. She came over to the computer and saw what I was doing. She said "This is never going to work." She said that last time she new I was checking numbers.

I told her "you're right, it's probably not" and told her that I didn't trust her at all at this point. I think she was surprised to hear me say that.

I may call her today and let her know that I'm considering filing regardless of what she wants to do. I've become emotionally disconnected from her over the past two weeks or so since she told me about her affairs in the past. After thinking about life without her, I like it and I think it's better for my children in the long run.

I've been reading "Love must be tough" by Dobson. Alot of parallels to Harley's advice, however, he really talks alot about respect and confidence. He also says that bringing the situation to a crisis level and showing confidence usually has a profound effect on the attitude of the wayward spouse.

Any thoughts?

Walt... don't call her that would be manipulation you either decide for yourself what is best for you and your family, meaning your daughter and you

It sounds like you are stronger and more at peace use that to your benefit. If you act to do something to see what your WW would do that is almost like pre-reacting. Just act on your best interest.

Always remember divorce is just a piece of paper and its a point in time. If you think there ever would be hope for you guys it might take you all the way there, but also it could just be the start of a new road and direction for you alone

I got served yesterday!!!

She doesn't know it yet... I was advised to not tell her.

I have my daughter back in church, and we went Sun/Wed. Now she is trying to tell em that from now on she is gonna go with her sistert o some other church on Weds... of course I didnt agree with that. And I will simply just pick her up from school myself and take her to church - not like she can stop me, right?

I wasn't invited to my step daughters b-day party on sunday, and it hurt alot... they said I wasnt invited cause they were afraid i would start something. I have never shown any signs that I was or ever would be that type of person. Then I find out that 100.00 was missing from my wallet... she denied taking it though I didnt accuse her of it. To later find out that after the party, 100.00 was spent on the 3 kids to play more games. Coincidence? I think not... My daughter told me yesterday that her ex (not using his name, as she did) gave her money to play games on sunday... I was pretty hot about that.

What do you guys think>?

Walt,

It saddens me to read about your daughter feeling like she has to choose.

Yes, explain the situation to her but be factual. As a kid, all she really wants is for the two of you to stop this and find a way to work it out. She doesn't want to see her parents split.

Calmly talk to your w about this. See if she absorbs it at all.

The two of you should get together and talk to her and tell her that you both love her very much and that any problems between you and your w have nothing to do with her.

This is important. Best of luck.

changed my name...too obvious of a name for me...

appreciate any advice you guys can give my current state... i dont want to lose my child to her and her new ways

seems this one died a bit...

i still need advice from earlier post... thanks in advance

Talked to the wife about finances last night. I slipped into the mode of talking about option of giving it some time in order to soften the financial blow. During that time, I suggested working on the relationship.

She's just so resistant to working on it. I got upset and she said that I was "pleading". Not the image i wanted to create. I didn't say anything further.

She did see an attorney and her attorney advised her to "try and settle it out of court". I read that as "you don't have the greatest case in the world, and if you lose, you could lose BIG." My attorney said I have a solid case for custody.

My wife actually volunteered to give me primary custody of the kids, for me to stay in the house with them, and to pay child support. She did a budget for herself and figured out she would have just enough to get a two bedroom apartment. I asked her how she planned on paying for new tires at some point, car repairs, if she got sick and couldn't work, what about our daughter's dental work, what about college for my daughter in less than four years, what about if she got a fender bender and needed to repair the car... with zero money left in a budget, any one of these would absolutely desimate her financially.

She's just SO focused on leaving that she's not seeing any other options.

Every now and then she'll say to me "you'll throw up my infidelity to me all the time" and "your parents will never forgive me" which tells me that she has fleeting thoughts of recovery... but when I engage in the conversation, she retreats and tells me she feels trapped.

I'm going to try and back off bigtime. My buddy brought up a good point saying to me that it's really not up to me at this point. Her decision is up to her. He's right. I catch myself trying to talk her into doing something I think is best for our family.

Although I've been very strong, I just had a bad night last night.