Walt:

Do tell, what is she celebrating?

The decision she made to move out in July?

Or the potential sale of the 2nd home?

Methinks she wishes to get you drunk and have SF with you tonight......

You know, she could "cheat" on her new BF that way.....

And I had so much hope for you guys.

But to finally see what kind of person she really is? Priceless.

MrRob is right, you have to respect her as the mother of the children, but you do not have to do anything more than that.

Thanks all.

LG, I see you've reconsidered... as have I from a while back. I mean this sincerely - SHE'S A SICK PERSON.

I don't know what she wanted to celebrate really. I think I looked like that curious dog with his head tilted when she said this. Like "huh? what's the ******?"

I'm working many hours this weekend.

I just want her gone at this point, with little resistance. I was also considering her boyfriend. I wouldn't be surprised if after its all over, the wife isn't as great a catch as he once thought. Commitmentless sex (I just made that word up I think!) is great... until its not. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh, and I don't see how I have to respect her. Respect is earned. I HAVE TO accept her as the mother of my children, work with her as the mother of my children... but until she's earned it, she will NOT get any of my respect.

...baby steps... big ones.

Had an open house today at the second home, even though we're under contract. Didn't produce any interested parties. Home inspection scheduled for Tuesday. Shouldn't be a problem

Inertia is a good thing right now...

Start a new health program next week to keep my tranformation moving forward. Will keep you posted. Pics to be provided sometime in mid-February.

Life is good. Really good.

The wife stayed at the OM's place last night. Called 1:00 AM to tell me "I'm tired and its foggy out and I don't think it's in my best interest to drive."

I hung up. She called back. In a nutshell, I told her to get out on April 1.

More progress. The lack of respect for our broken, yet still our family is pathetic.

On a positive note, started a great nutritional program today and feel good. Her spiraling out of control will not affect my forward momentum!

Okay, Walt, maybe respect was too generous a word <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />- I guess I meant be an example for your children of how to treat someone who is not doing the right thing.

I am assuming the offer on your second home was acceptable since you are under contract! Congrats.

Plan A really was for you, wasn't it? And even though it didn't save your marriage, would you say that you are the better for it?

And good for you setting the time for her to get out. Why do you have to wait clear til April???

The April date is a compromise. I've found that through this process, compromising leads me down the path of least resistence. It will allow us to EQUALLY save some money for her to establish a place and for me to replace the stuff she's taking with her. It's not that long, and with my kids in sports, the sale of the second home, etc. working a little bit together will be helpful for a couple months.

Yes, Plan A really was for me, even though some say it's not for the BS.

I feel very fantastic today. Better than just fantastic...

When she's out of sight, I realize how I really don't know or care to know the person she's evolved into.

It would be nice if she would just go away. Better for me and the kids in my opinion. I doubt that will happen, but time will tell.

It's about character. Character was once defined to me as doing the right thing even when nobody's watching.

Thanks for your time.

I think I'm in Plan B mode without trying. The wife has drained me of any and all respect, feelings, thoughts, emotions. Truly amazing. I've really never been brought to this point with another human being, where they actually completely bankrupt my "compassion bank".

She's trying to talk to me on the phone about places she's looking at. I first told her that its completely her business. She continued to tell me information to which I did not respond at all. Complete silence. I then said "Ok, I'm going to go now." We ended the conversation.

I know she's struggling with this because she's NEVER made a decision during our marriage. I know there's probably one or two, but most if not ALL final decisions had to be made by me, or they weren't going to be made. i don't mind being in that position, but it's NOT my job anymore.

Walt:

She called you from OM House? Cuz, she was afaid to drive? What, OM after the SF, couldn't be bothered? Sheesh. That makes me want to puke. Really.

I wouldn't even answer the phone. Get caller ID if you don't already have it and just ignore the calls.

And when she strays during the conversation away from the kids, or the subjects you deem necessary to discuss with her, say goodby and hang up.

You are amazing. Stay strong for the kids.

LG

Walt,

Good job on all fronts.

And this is totally off-topic, but you look incredible in your photos. The transformation from your Plan Aing is amazing...on the outside and the inside. You really are a better person for your efforts.

You made reference to starting a new nutritional program, what is it? I have a pretty good idea what it is and it's all about making changes and Plan A-ing yourself.

I started a program called Isagenix. It's my last push to reach my goal weight of 220 lb.

I lost 10 pounds in the last three days on the program. I'm on my fourth day of a thirty day program.

I feel good... really good.

I've released myself from taking any care or interest in her whatsoever. LG, that's my plan. Necessary conversation only. She's a true PIS in my book at this point.

Can't wait to post photos. Maybe I'll post the latest photos on the day we close on the sale of the second home kind of like a symbolic thing. We'll see.

The tranformation moves forward...

The wife decided that she was going to play house again with her new boyfriend. I'm taking care of the divorce, working overtime at one job, have a second job, taking care of the sale of our second home, coaching my son's basketball team, etc.

I talked to "at" her on the phone and said that this is unacceptable and if she can't put it aside, then she should just leave. I'll manage without her.

I've had it.

Stand tall Walt. She may not like it but she can damn sure respect your boundaries or go somewhere else!!!

Walt,

Do not kill yourself though. Make sure you are keeping up with your health.

Good luck.

Well, she started aggressively looking for a place to move to on March 1. I guess she can't find it in her to compromise, and I've given all i can.

Funny thing is, she's STILL asking for advice about where to live. I told her again, its up to her. She, again, tried to use the kids by saying "well, your children will be staying there too." Well, my wife is very high maintenance, so my response was that I don't doubt that she'll find someplace comfortable to live. She laughed because she knew what I did. Turned it right around. Is that double speak? Not sure.

On another positive note, I think I'm mentally ready to at least meet "other people". Not going to get into anything until the divorce is at least filed officially, and not interested in any heavy duty relationships. Just ready to have some quality, mature conversation. I was approached twice yesterday by friends asking if I would like to meet someone. If I'd be interested in going out as a small group and that they have someone they think i would enjoy meeting.

I take this as a HUGE compliment and a show of the respect that I've EARNED with my friends.

My general health is better than any other time of my adult life. I feel a great sense of balance, a presence of God that I haven't felt since I was a child, and just an overall positive feeling that will be hard to knock me down from.

Thanks again for reading... the transformation continues...

WaltW:

Careful! Do not date before the ink is dry on that Divorce. It's the kiss of death around here.

Just kidding.

Go out and socialize. And you can have conversations. With the opposite sex. But, keep your distance until the D is final. It just adds complications that you do not need until that is finalized.

Good job on the Reverse Babble with the Apt discussions.

And she will move quickly to move out by March 1. NOT!

She wants you to pull her back in and take care of her again and let her continue to cake-walk.

Stand your ground. You are doing great.

No one-on-one dating, but the conversation is healthy in my opinion. Thanks for the thoughts though.

I'm pushing the issue with March 1.

Thanks, LG.

Welp, she gave a deposit on the house she's going to rent. Funny thing... she doesn't know it, but its next to a guy I graduated high school with and his wife who works with my mother... yeah, small town. She's staying local which has its advantages and disadvantages.

However, she's still very much in denial about how this is all affecting her kids... or (my opinion) she just doesn't care. She approached our daughter, told her about the house she's renting and said "aren't you excited?!" My daughter looked at her like she was crazy and said "no, what's there to be excited about." Yes, the STBXW is out of touch with the impact of her behavior on those around her. At least she's consistent.

On the other hand, just spoke with my attorney and the settlement agreement will be final later today.

... more progress...

Walt:

How old is that daughter? And she already knows reverse babble?

Cool!

LG

She's 14.5 and SHARP!!! She's got her head on straight, but I still remember that its her mother, and this has got to hurt a little.

Just talked to the wife. She started asking questions about my schedule. i told her that I need to work and I'm not going to re-arrange my schedule so she can play house with her boyfriend. It's degrading to me and damaging to the kids. Put it on the shelf for five more weeks.

I've taken all I'm going to take.