You MESMORIZED the guy!
You must be something else Believer.

In those days (long, long, ago), there weren't any stalker laws. In fact a person could threaten you, and the police couldn't do anything.

As I said, I had to quit school, move, and I was terrified. He said he would commit suicide if I refused to talk to him.

Stalking is all about CONTROL. He made the mistake of coming to my job (ER) and destroying patient records. The police were called and he went to jail. When he got out, there was a restraining order, and I never saw him again.

The only thing these people understand is POWER. If she knows she will go to jail, she will stop.

Believer,
OW did play the suicide card early on. You all kept me straight on that one. She was just trying to manipulate my H to stay with her. It was a power play. Didn't work though.

I think this OW thinks that no real harm can be done to her. Early on she told H that if I went to her CO, he would laugh at me. And that she was too valuable in her work place so nothing would happen to her...in her dreams.

I now have the name and number of the CG investigator too. I'll check with him to see how "valuable" she really is.

She is slowly going to realize she holds no power. This woman is going to need some major IC. She could lose EVERYTHING!!!!

When we go to the magistrate this time, we'll check on that RO. H mentioned that we should do that too. I agree. Hit her with everything.

Sounds like a good plan. It is amazing how fast they stop bothering you when they are confronted with consequences.

Re: citizen's arrest.

Got a gaff on your boat, Michelle?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
WAT

Get a military restraining order against her as well. In some ways, that has more teeth.

WAT,
Yes we do have a gaff! A rather large one too! LOL

Dobie,
I didn't know there was such a thing. When I call the CG investigator I will ask about that. Thanks.

And thanks again Believer.

Wires? We don't need no stinking wires....

http://www.smarthome.com/76002.html

That took me about 8 seconds to find. I'm not recommending that brand or seller. Just showing how simple you can handle this. That is a 4 pack. It sounds like she is trying to be sneaky so you may need to cover all angles with the camera. Plus, it would be nice just for general security purposes, for your boat.

Press the charges. This isn't about threats or scaring. This is about you demonstrating to her (AND YOUR HUSBAND) that you will follow through on your word. If you told him you won't tolerate his crap anymore (cheating) and you tell her you won't let her intimidate you ... you demonstrate to your husband you are dead serious about things by not giving her an INCH. You may do more for your recovery by pressing forwards on her like you are, than you realize...by indirectly demonstrating to your husband you are a strong committed woman.

-hang in there

Military Protective Order

Not sure how it works for Coast Guard, though. They're slightly different.

Ok, here's an update for anyone that's interested. To me this is crazy and NC will go out the window.

We went to magistrate and swore out warrant for the trespassing. She was arrested. Court date is this Mon. Talked to a lawyer (man they are expensive!) for 3 hours...$$$$$ We have hired him. We wanted him to act as prosecuting attorney. Well that's not happening. He talked to the Commonwealth's Att who felt it was not his place to appoint a special attorney so he said the presiding judge had the authority to do so. So my attorney went before the judge who disagreed with the Comm. Att. and said that he did not have the authority to do so, so he denied my attorney to act as prosecutor.

So who's going to prosecute?...FWH! So if he has to call OW onto the stand it's just getting beyond the scope of my imagination.

Now don't you all think this is NUTS!!?

And as far as the vandalism charges go...my att says we should ge with what we can prove. The rest is circumstantial evidence. So we're going to swear out another warrant for the vandalism of 1 tire. And again if the same judge is presiding, then FWH will have to act as prosecutor again.

One other thing..the att doesn't know for sure if the warrant for the trespassing was put under the correct statute. So he wants to amend the warrant and continue the proceedings until we can further investigate.

It is just not cut and dry. A boat doesn't fall under premises or real estate.

Any body have a comment about this? Has anybody ever come across having the WS prosecute the OP?

My comment is XXX-rated

muzzled ~~~> Pep

Pep,
You muzzled? No way.

way

Well last night someone posted the arrest info of OW on a local fishing forum. The thread was deleted, but not before OW replied. She siad she won't be in court due to a death in her family. I'm glad, but I guess it will be continued... or not.

????

someone died of the embarrassment of being related to OW

????



Pep <~~~ REmuzzled <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Michele:

Gotta be honest here girl, something seems amiss here.....I have a very snealing suscpicion that this isn't 100% completely because of a Spurned obsessed OW. I'll leave it at that. I doubt you will find the resolution you are seeking through legal channels.

Goodluck

LM

Come on Lemon, you're gonna have to elaborate. I remember you have felt that my FWH was not completely honest. Is that what you are thinking now?

He is on board.

So please elaborate. I'm a big girl. All advice is appreciatd.

Pep,
You are onto something there.LOL.

Michelle:

I have always felt that your WH has never been 100% completley honest with you. Some things have never added up to me. It is my feeling that MOST OW do NOT continue to wantonly engage in pursuit of the MM (married man) without at least some provocation or "encourgament" ( whatever that may be).

There is in my opinion a fostered delusion here that Wayward spouses are all coerced into cheating ala 'fog" and BS alien theories, and that it is the crazy OTHER women and men who continue the pursuit and manipulation of the wayward spouse. I think that is what we all would like to believe, BUT in my opinion, it is far from the truth.

Am I jaded....? perhaps......but as my main man Chris Rock says "A cheater is ONLY as faithful as his options".....I am not saying your husband is doing any of the sort....but I think an other woman/man continuinally pursuing the married spouse who is maintaining straight NC and is on the "up and up" is very rare. It is usually because the Wayward Spouse has willingly (or subconconsciously) allowed continued interaction to occur (even perhaps secretly on a fishing message forum). CONTACT IS CONTACT....any way you slice it.

Goodluck. I would love to be 100% wrong about your case.

Lem

Lemon,
I know you have felt that way, but this COULD be that rare case.

The detective told me that he and his partner spoke to OW in the back of his car for 4 hours(my lawyer thought that was odd to spend so much time with her). The detective said that he is trained to understand people, more so than the average joe, and he believes that she is crazy.

He said that he trashed my H during that conversation on purpose and OW defended him. Also, he said the reason she punctured the tire is that she heard on the radio that we were fishing on what she referred to as "our" boat (as in her and my H's).

He said that she is narcissistic(sp?) and has other strange psychopathology. Her XH was verbally abusive, etc and her childhood had it also. Her father was a cheater.

Anyway, I could go on and on about her. I know too much about her now.

I think the fact that my H is about to prosecute her in a court of law says something about him and his committment to our M.

Lemon, your advice and opinions mean alot and I really respect them. At this time I know every breath H takes and he is as transparent as possible. We spend most of our time together. Some might even think it's too much.

I welcome your opinions and advice. I do not ever want to be blindsided again. So if ever you think I'm missing something,please do not hesitate to throw a 2x4 my way. My eyes are WIDE open.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. And it's good to hear from you. I haven't seen you around lately.

And I also hope that you are 100% wrong. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Just one other note Lemon...I hold my H 100% accountable for his A. I don't blame OW for his bad decision.

But if she can STILL defend him even after he sent the police to her house, had her strip searched and then thrown in the pen with all the other "ladies" then to me, she is sick. Dontcha think?