Of course you do...that's your style...



Don't even pretend that you know me or know what I was like before and during my affair...there are people here who've watch my progression from day one...you aren't one of them.

This kind of thinking wasn't remotely involved in my decision to have an affair.

I have met many men who have met a woman and decided that she seems like someone they would want to get to know better...they were strongly attracted to them. These men decide early on that a more mature love and relationship with this woman would be a strong possibility.

If they decided to pursue an unmarried woman...more power to them.

Again, you fail to distinguish between people who are married and people who aren't. That line is VERY clear to me.

So stop trying to turn this into fodder for justification of affairs...it's not. Affairs do not occur between people who aren't married...

LO...typical response.

Ahhh, allow me to retort.

So, it is true; I believe that such objective thoughts exist. So that you don’t think I make this stuff up there is a body of philosophy that is grounded in such beliefs, it is appropriately called, you guessed it, “objectivism”. In this body of philosophical thought, “right” and “wrong” are clearly distinguishable. Lean more about “Objectivism by reading the famous author Ayn Rand.

In this particular instance I made a statement that it is “wrong” for a person to be the cause of hurt and pain (I called it the “horror show”) that follows when that person intentionally breaks an existing love relationship. I made no distinction if the relationship was one of marriage or not. It is the pain and hurt that matter, not the marriage. It is through logical thought and reason that I KNOW that such behavior is abhorrent. I know this because I lived it firsthand, my enemy and constant companion.

So, I would say to you that the difference between right and wrong is independent of the relative “feelings” of the offender. I would say that there exists an objective reality that does not depend on how you or I might “feel” about it. It is the end result that is the telling tale, i.e. what did your actions cause? In this instance to knowingly hurt another human being speaks for itself outside of all rationalizations. A thing is what it is. Even more basically, one person's happiness should not come at the expense of another's.

Spoken like a true objectivist. I hope I answered your question and I hope you read more about objectivism. I might suggest that many here would benefit greatly from reading a bit on this philosophical position and then re-examining their condition in the face of some of these ideas. The heart and soul of objectivism is the free pursuit of happiness and its attainment. Sound familiar?

Mr. G

Mr. G... well said. Frankly, I am getting tired of this attitude that we cannot say something is wrong or evil... it is just plain "wrong."
Sadly, I think that LO is in a very tough place right now because he ran into someone that doesn't respect that a marriage in seperation is still indeed a marriage. There are many people out there that would think his W was fair game because they were seperated. As a matter of fact the worlds largest dating site... Match.com allows for seperated people to meet others on their site. There is no category for engaged or otherwise involved. It shows no respect for the relationship that exists between the couple. It's a shame that this is happening to LO....it shows that people should be mindful of others relationships until such a time as they are truly over.
MEDC

LO has always been a friend to these boards, at least to my observations. Although I’ve gathered that the condition of his marriage is all but over, I would make the comment that if EITHER his wife or him hold some corner of hope then I think that no stone should remain unturned to help him, if he asks.

On the other hand, if neither desires to reconcile and neither would be hurt by the other dating then their love relationship is truly at an end. No one would be hurt from both pursing their own happiness and I would advise them to do so, i.e. there are NO victims. Without victims there can NEVER be a crime.

I’m not sure that is the case, I just don’t know.

I think that most will agree that “marriage” is much, much more then just a legal document. In fact, for me, the legal aspect of marriage is the least important of all.

Mr. G