Well....it's just been a quiet weekend around here for me, guess time will heal me, but I've really just slept a bunch and did'nt do a thing....thats the 1st time I've just relaxed for a long time.

She seens t/b attempting to conjure up pity to fuel her WSishness. Hm..... very interesting.

Of course if you choose NOT to fuel the needs of a WS, then this may be a good time to inflict a blow to the WS character.

How? Well what I did was something like:

xWS: I don't know why I feel I need you after all the hurt I caused you.

BS: Don't know the answer to that one. Just need to let you know that you have taught up how to live without you. We know life can go on without you. Whether you can live without us or not, is something you are gonna have to figure out.

xWS: Yea, I guess so.

Bs; Yep, we certainly have had to learn how to live w/o u the hard way. We are slow learners but you've been at this A for soooo long, we caught on. Gotta go....got lots of things to do today.

Xws: Wanna go do something?

BS: Nope. Why not call all those 'friends' you claimed to have had....or howz about the one you called your 'best friend'?

Xws: I don't have any friends.

BS: We do. Have a nice day.

Xws: I can't.

BS: Well....try. Bye.

Our convo went something like that a few times. Most times it was over the phone. So I didn't get to see his facial recation but his tone was one of dispair.

Bringing down the WS is a good thing. It can give hope to the real good person being held captive. Yea.....even after the D. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

wow...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Tell me something....how do I let my love stop? and why do I still love her and want her in my life? I'm most likely as much fault as her as to why I've never had a good plan B.

Yep, after my divorce my EX tried to hang on too.....

(celly call)

EX: Hey, do you remember how to work the surround sound on the home theater (which she ended up with)

Me: Pull out the instructions from the kitchen drawer....I have to go bye.


............another time

EX: Hey, Im at Home Depot.....what kind of fertilizer should I get for the yard.

Me: Ask your B/F....doesnt he know anything about yards??

EX: Thanks alot!

Me: We are no longer married....I have a home to take care of.....you are going to have to learn to do these things on your own.

I don't know, WB. I wish I did.

I so wish I did.

Plan B is hard. Even after D, I see.

I think the feelings fade with time (as long as there is no contact.)

And activity.

Get out and do new good things for yourself.

Better yet, volunteer and do good things for others.

When you fall, get up and do it again.

I will say a prayer for you.

Thanks for the prayer. I in the beginning of the A went to a church that has a "celebrate recovery" program for people recovering from anything like drugs, drinking or divorce. I think I need to perhaps head back there. Thanks folks.

if I tell you you won't like it

Pep

Give it to me...if that's what I need!!

Ok, well go out the toolbox and pull out the long nose plier and a small jack. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Put your mouth around the jack and slide those pliers deep down until you reach your guts, then back up and search for your kidneys..... yank.....go up to your heart and double yank.

Did that hurt? Is it too graphic?

Ok, another plan: Get your mind and heart in sync. Leave all organs in tack and go out to have some fun!!! Know that u r worth a good life free from a WS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Bet that was less painful than the 1st rememdy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

So thats it???

love is action as well as feeling

when your love is restricted to feelings (ie; memory and longing, etc) and is absent of actions ... it will fade

after awhile, action-less love resembles obsession more than it does love ... after awhile it needs fuel to stay alive

so, every 4 weeks, or so, assess how many actions you have taken to keep this feeling alive in yourself

and
question yourself
to see if
you are possibly afraid

that without this love
there is emptiness

that without this crazy sort of love, you feel dull, and shadow-like

if you do ... it's time to become a real person

not a man content with a shadow of love

a man with a lust for life

just for awhile sit alone and contemplate ... "Where did I put my lust for life?"

lust for life

get that

when you do
this pale "love" will fade fade fade as you become in sharp focus as a main character in your own LUST for YOUR life

basically, I see you as a man who has not enjoyed a delicious lusty meal in a long long time ... set your place at the table ... and enjoy!

Pep

That was truly nice....thanks pep...I was thinking you had something nasty tp say....I should of known better.