Yes Pep, I can understand that... You know, I'm still painfully aware of the huge disappointed I caused last year on these boards with my confession about the relapse and fears (amongst other things) to expose... Sometimes I still feel "undeserving" of posting here and I'm afraid I might appear like a hypocrite myself since I don't follow MB principles to the script (this is why I stopped posting regularly for a long while especially after another poster described me as still being wayward…). I knew you specifically felt that I betrayed our “sisterhood” when I refused to expose, and sometimes that issue still bothers me as well…

I just wanted to let you know.

I was very disappointed last year when the info came forward about 2oak....after all he posted I found it hard to believe...I was curious who it was also...but not enough to bother going back and trying to figure it out.

It was still enjoyable to read his posts and he did make some good points.

Are you prejudiced against HYPOCRITES??? I can think of many worse things than that! Even so, I thought his posts were a HOOT!

Hmmmm. Was that there a clue ML?

I wish I had a clue! lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Darn... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'm don't relish the role of class snitch, but I hate to watch speculation and misinformation go round.

This is what happened.

On the reunion board, there was a chat facility (exactly what Dr. Harley doesn't allow here, for good reason). A number of posters (emphatically not including me, but often involving one female BS and two male fWSs) apparently got into the habit of chatting to each other privately. The female BS poster, very articulate, very honest, suddenly realised that she was getting into the habit of sexually-explicit chats with 2OAKS, and confessed this to the reunion board. She felt that she had allowed herself to be seduced into this behaviour, and that it was primarily her own fault for allowing it to happen.

Shortly after this, there was a furore on the Ladies MB Board (a completely independent spin-off from here). 2OAKS' fiancee Jill had joined this board and become an intermittent poster. The female BS poster, with others, had legitimate access to admin information, and she noticed that often there were 'coupled' posts - 2OAKS would post on the reunion board, and within minutes Jill would post on the ladies' board, often when Jill and 2OAKS were separated on business travel. She further noticed that both posters came from the same IP address, despite being apparently far apart. So there arose a suspicion - strongly voiced on the ladies' board - that 'Jill' was really 2OAKS, posting as his own fiancee in order to see what the ladies were saying about him.

For anyone who remembers 2OAKS, this certainly wasn't beyond the realms of possibility. However, he and 'Jill' challenged the technical evidence, and it was all ended inconclusively.

The female poster has, I think, posted on the subject on 'In recovery', although it may perhaps be in the archives by now.

It was as good a reason as I've seen to ban chat facilities on sites like this, and a depressing insight into how easy it is for boundaries to be breached.

2OAKS did not come out of it very well. It left me, for one, wondering if any of what he said was for real at all. I'd really like to believe that it was, but there was something unsavoury about the whole episode that left me...doubtful.

TA

Yes Mel, I AM prejudiced against hypocrites and this is why:

It’s one thing for a person to steal, rape, murder, kill or commit adultery (that’s worse enough!), but it’s another thing to preach to others about it and dish out “pearls of wisdom” against it while secretly engage oneself in the EXACT SAME BEHAVIOUR! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I'd like to buy a vowel <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

didn't you do that same thing, Suzet??

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Oh...I knew that was coming.

~*~*~* popcorn ready~*~*~*

committed

Er, no Mel, she didn't. Neither did I. We both came to MB and IMMEDIATELY admitted what we'd done.

Hypocrisy would have been carrying on dishing out our FWW "pearls" while knowing what we were really doing. It's a message board - we both could have just shut up and carried on. Hypocrisy would have been me trying to avoid the 2x4s and telling everyone (untruthfully) that I'd told my H all about it and everything was hunky dory again.

No, Jen, she was posting advice to others here while she was having her affair. She had a RELAPSE after she came here.

This is not true. During my two day relapse I did not post here because that would have been HYPOCRYTICAL and DISHONEST to do that while I KNEW what I was doing AND witholding it from the board (as was the case with 2OfAKind). No, I FIRST confessed to my H immediately after the relapse, send another NC letter to OM and then came clean with these boards BEFORE I started posting here again. So you don't have any grounds for your silly argument Mel...and I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here...

Why I feel so strongly about 2OfAKind's hypocricy & dishonesty is that he had the arrogance to dished out those "pearls", critize and attack ME and PRETENDING to be a recovered FWS while he was engaged in an EA with a BOARD MEMBER (with sexually explicit content)! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> So, other than his hypocricy he was also a SERIAL CHEATER because he was involved with DIFFERENT OP's! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> He also had several PHYSICAL AFFAIRS (if I remember correctly) before he came to these boards... Heck, at least I had the integrity, decency & morals to STOP my EA before it progressed any further. (I know many here will view this as irrelevant but to ME it's a BIG DEAL!)

Therefore, taken everything I've said above into account, I REALLY take offence in being compared to 2OfAKind Mel... In fact, it makes me ANGRY...and I get the feeling that this was your INTENT. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Please correct me if I'm wrong...

Suzet, I am just speechless that you would condemn 2Oak after your own history here. You differentiate yourself by saying you didn't post for those "2 days" you were in contact so you are, therefore, somehow different. WOW. Using that standard, are you prepared to prove that 2oak was actually IN CONTACT on the VERY DAY he made that post?

See how ridiculous and legalistic this could get? Better not to look down your nose at someone when you have been doing the same thing, IMO.

I do give you alot of credit for coming here and coming clean, Suzet.

I stand on what I’ve said Mel… I never (like 2OfAKind) behaved hypocritical or dishonest with these boards regarding my history and sitch…NEVER. I’m shocked that you suggested such a thing and I’m very disappointed. And I did not post advise to others "only" during that “2 days” resumption. Actually, I stopped posting advise for a very long time after that BECAUSE I felt so shameful about the resumption. For a long time I felt “undeserving” of posting here for that very same reason (and sometimes I still does as I've pointed out to Pep).

Anyway, I think 2OfAKind never planned to get clean with these boards or his W regarding his EA with the board member as a supposedly “recovered FWS”… He got CAUGHT. So yes, I can’t think how I or my history can be compared with that of a dishonest serial cheater.

Thanks for giving me some credit though for coming clean with these boards… I do appreciate that.

My memory is that Suzet_'s account is accurate - she did stop posting to the board for a long time, then came back with her admission of NC failure.

2OAK, on the other hand, although challenged on Recovery by many posters, did not respond and did not confess to anything on this, or other boards. In fact,he made an attempt to return to this board several years after The Big Fuss; I assumed he was testing to see if the new board population would welcome him, unaware of his history. When he was challenged by Suzet_ and several others, he disappeared, and hasn't been seen around these parts for a long while.

TA

My memory is that Suzet_'s account is accurate - she did stop posting to the board for a long time, then came back with her admission of NC failure.

It is according to what is considered a "long time". It clearly shows that she posted on June 14 2006 and the next one was on June 20 2006 confessing to breaking no contact.

You can follow the dates and the very longest period of time that she didnt post was 11 [color:"red"] DAYS [/color]

Now, that isn't a long time...unless you are measuring it in dog years.

People cannot make that type of argument when there are easy ways to refute it...especially with the 'search' area provided on MB.

committed

As I recall, many of her early posts upon her "return" where more "in your face" to BigK than anything else. Not that it matters...