I was the one who originally outed 2oak's less than openness and honesty for one reason and one reason only.

Too many times I see people take the all-wise-all-knowing posture from the seat of experience and "recovery" as a way of grooming their next targets - which it seemed as though he had done with his target who left this board immediately after 2oak returned last time. She recognized the need for no contact, but I don't think to this day she recognized she was being groomed for an on-line EA when this whole thing originally started up.

I felt he might be back for a new "conquest" and it only fair that his cover be blown - you know - exposure style? since he kept his duality with this last victim very hush hush on this board and left instantly at the first sign that anyone remembered him from his last sudden departure. His lack of courage to state his "defense" certainly validates my hypothesis...

To be fair to Suzet - she's not here to groom anyone. 2oak is in his own class that way.

KA, Somehow, I didn't read 2oak as a groomer of targets; I missed all that. I even have a hard time believing those were his intentions when he returned. I am sure he read a bit before posting and saw many familiar names.

It was a mistake for both 2oak and the woman to chat privately...or email each other or whatever their contact off the boards. At the very least the female involved should not have allowed any contact to begin with. Both were in error. But I didn't see the contents of their contacts.

Since most people (especially newbies) didn't know about what transpired and aren't familiar with 2oak, IMO having a few 'notable' posts reposted does no harm...the post that I have reused are still valid for their humor and message.

.

I saw it when he got caught posting as his fiance on a women-only board and got caught with the same IP Address on both posts while fiance was out of town...

Until he comes forward with a full confession of his motives that fully explains the identical IP address and why he violated his own credo, then I will continue to watch out for him as a predator.

As I’ve said before, you are entitled to your own opinion. I’m not here to convince you of anything because you’ve already made up you mind about me.

Sigh... Committed, I don’t see any similarities in me and 2OfAKinds histories and behaviors on this board (I never acted hypocritical or dishonest on this board regarding my sitch), so IMO your question is not relevant.

If Mel and Pep still value 2OfAKind that’s okay and of no concern to me. Actually it’s none of my business, BUT if anyone starts to COMPARE me with him, I WILL stand up and defend myself and point out how ridiculous that is. And that was all I was trying to do with my posts on this thread. If Mel wouldn’t have started to compare my behavior on this board with that of 2OfAKind, these arguments wouldn’t have taken place. I know she thinks differently, but I simply don’t agree with her and she don’t need to agree with me. We can agree to disagree. That’s okay.

I don’t expect Mel and Pep’s approval of me and my posts…especially not after my relapse last year. If they would have chosen to totally ignore me and if they could not see value in my posts anymore because of my history, I would have TOTALLY understood that. It would have been painful, yes, but I would understand… As I’ve said to Pep earlier on this thread, I'm still painfully aware of the huge disappointed I caused last year on these boards. Therefore, the fact that Mel and Pep still DO value me and some of my posts is a blessing and mercy and it does mean a lot to me.

Oh please. Call a Waaaaaaambulance and pass the tissues....

BigK, I think both of us must ignore each other in future. I don’t need your sarcasm and hostility. Please don’t respond to my posts anymore.

Thanks.

You can only control yourself Suzet. Nice try though.

Very astute observation. One that hard for many here to swallow because they have invested parts of themselves and their credibiility in those posters.

Actually from where I sit, you could have left off the "bolded" phrase from the above and it would still be true.

There are too many people here, past and present, who seem to actually be seeking the "all-wise-all-knowing posture" and to have that generally recognized within the MB community. They seem to bask in the glow of being known as a "sage".

There are many occurrences of some of these "sages" not being able to keep their own marriages afloat and making critical, MB-rookie mistakes after achieving "wise-one" status. But, rather than pull back from the stage, they elicit sympathy, rightfully, but no matter what happens, their "sage" status seems to remain intact.

The only "sages" in the MB-world are the Harleys. All others who accept or covet that mantle are pretenders.

The problem seems to be that nearly everyone who comes here comes here in extreme pain. Anyone who helps relieve that pain is looked up to, understandably so. Rather than just feeling thankfulness, there seems to be some need to elevate the "helper" to some deified status. Just human nature, I guess...

But the alarming thing is how many here "covet" that status. I've seen a lot of fake humility and it's easy to spot.

All in all, this problem seems to be much worse on EN than it is in GQII, but it *is* on this forum also and when you can look impartially, it's easy to find.

The bottom line is that for some here, no revelation in the world, no matter how dark, will decrease their admiration for 2oak, or anyone else. Once a disciple, always a disciple, I guess...

I think the only person whom I hold to "sage" status... is probably Dr Harley himself.

The second tier of people I turn to would be the MB posters who generally post Harley-based advice.

The third tier consists of posters who have caught my interest by virtue of some quality they possess, be it excellent writing skills, logical thinking, or detailed knowledge on a subject because of personal life experience.

and somewhere near the bottom of my admirable poster list ...

posters who are not here to get help, who are here to give anti-Harley advice

I don't "get" them at all ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

but in the end .... we are all, every last one of us

a work in progress

I am afraid I can never buy-in to this view. While I greatly respect the Harleys they are NOT the only ones that can dole out helpful advice. The beauty of the Harley principles is that they are primarily grounded in the tenants of “logic and reason”, i.e. they flat out make great sense. The real truth is that many marriages and relationships are saved by the folks participating right here in these forums without husband and wife ever needing to fund the expense of having a personal consultation with the Harleys.



I might suggest that we cannot know what is in the heart of someone who might offer advice or support to the needy. Is it not enough to judge such actions based solely on the merit of the advice itself? Although your hypothesis may be correct I have to wonder if your observation has any meaningful relevance. I would suggest to you the even the Harleys and Marriage Builders are first and foremost a “business” that MUST create profit and that all their actions are designed to foster and grow their business. I suspect that they have acquired significant wealth because of it, yet I would never fault them for this nor would I ever fault them for basking in the glow of admiration from folks from all over this country and beyond.

Good advice is good advice is good advice and will always be so.

Mr. G