Well, she has made a huge mistake allowing you back in the house this weekend. She can't very well get a RO saying she is "afraid" of you after she allowed you to come back. If she is intent on using the law to harrass you, I would suggest you contact your atty first thing Monday and get back in your house.

Staying out of your house harms your position in every way possible. It makes it impossible for you to work on your marriage, diminishes your legal position and emboldens her in bullying you.

GET BACK IN THAT GD HOUSE!

Marshmallow, read above.. I CAN NOT stay. The friends she is staying with are cops, they will have her in front of the right people at 8 AM Monday morning and I will have a RO served and 15 minutes to grab what I can, if that

MAdwyn, why not get a RO against her? Tell the judge you are afraid of her?

I have a consultation Wed morning with a new attorney....... but I keep getting the same answers.... DO NOT get a RO against you....... I am the proverbial side of the barn right now and she can take the house, kids, everything and make me pay for it all.......

I asked...... I would be in front of a judge in a matter of days and it would be thrown out..... she is the parent of record and this is the childrens home, and I have to work, including leaving Mon for 3 days

Do what you have to do to get back in the house. We have another guy who got back in his house after his W filed a frivolous RO against him in your state. But you can't let her keep you out of your own home with jsut the THREAT of RO. She doesn't have that kind of power unless you give it to her.

GEt back in that home!

There's got to be a lawyer somewhere in your state that can beat a phoney restraining order.

All the lawyers you're talking to are telling you that it is impossible to get a phoney restraining order over turned? Is that what you're saying? If that's the case, every man in your state ought to move out of it.

Does your last lawyer know that you are back in the house w/ your kids AFTER she called the police the first time?

How about this... do you have any separation agreement?

let her have the house and you take the kids and go somewhere's a mini vacation, or just take them to where you can stay with them and let your wife know that you want to spend time with the kids so they are not again adversely effected by you moving out our her affair.

You can not kidnap your own kids and if there is no custody order your not breaking any law.

You then put together your plan to file for custody and that you and the kids are to remain in the house and the WW moves out.

BUT YOU BETTER HAVE YOUR ACT TOGETHER

Loke I said , I have a consultation on WEd wuth a highly recomended attorney. I will try to get the info from him. If I can beat a RO, I will move back in. Problem is, they seem to give them out at will here in WA and then set court dates weeks out.........

I am not even back in Seattle till Wed morning, so I cant do too much from the airplane/hotel room. This is my last rip for a while.......

Madwyn, tell him to get you back in that house. That is your main hope in saving your marriage. Many attorneys strive to achieve an amicable divorce and this is what they want. YOU DO NOT WANT THIS. There is still hope for your marriage if you can get back in your house. So, make very sure that he understands your goals and helps you acheive them in the most legally protected way.

And please consider what I told you about consulting with a QUALIFIED marriage counselor who can help you SAVE your marriage. He charges about $185 a session but is well worth it.

Madwyn, your situation makes me sick to my stomach. It's all so incredibly unjust - I really can't believe you are not entitled to walk back into your own house. Your WW is a witch at the moment.

Whilst you should never have left the house in the first place, when we are newly betrayed and unaware of the dynamics of affairs, we all make mistakes.

So now that lawyers and police are involved, I am truly out of my depth. I don't know enough about US law to begin to advise you. But you have great support here from people who know what they are talking about.

The crying has got to stop. My gut feeling is that at the moment your WW finds you unattractive and needy. I urge you to TRY and get your emotions under control. It will make a difference to how she perceives you.

Take care Madwyn and look after yourself. TT

I live in the city where that occured, and that parking lot where Crystal was murdered by her husband is my regular shopping spot. It was a very very sad thing. He (Crystal's husband and CoP which is right across the bridge) murdered his wife and took his life right in front of their two small children. She had left him mos earlier because he was physically and emotionally abusing her, which fell on deaf ears of the court.

Read here: The Crystal Brame Story

And here: More

This, along with several like incidents of other battered wives & women, resulted in the fact a RO can and will be placed on a husband in the State by his wife even if she states she fears him.

If ya'll recall, a restraining order was placed on Good Father under similar circumstance as MadWyn's by his WW who misused the legal system by lying to further her affair. GF also lives in that same State.

Jo

MadWyn,

How are you doing?

Jo

MadWyn,

Any update to offer?

Jo

quick update, then gotta run out the door.....

Saw an attorney yesterday, he said move back in and he will deal with the RO if if one comes up. My 11 yo daughter knows now about divorce and is crushed, I am taking her ot my counselor today and will see what needs to happen from there.

I am doing better and standing up for myself in almost all things Told WW I am seriously considering moving home Saturday night, which is a night I was going to be staying at the house anyway while she was partying it up with her girlfriends.

I canceled all her credit cards and redirected my direct deposit to an account I control.

She wants me to be excited she just got a job. It a "mommy" job.... Mon to Thurs 9am to 1:30 PM so she can still be there for the kids. It was everything I could do not to laugh when she told me she was going to make $1200 a month.

She stated she would give me the house and not fight me on joint custody if I got this done quickly with her. I am almost tempted to take the offer....... but....

I am attending a DivorceCare class tomorow night to se what it is like. Anybody ever experience one? Any advice.

Thats all for now, I have to get out thedoor.

Have you made up your mind about moving back in, or are you still only 'considering' it?

Why are you doing this?? Do you really want a divorce? Are you just done, LIKE THAT? Most affairs NEVER end in divorce even though the majority of WW's babble about divorce. Your situation will probably NEVER GET that far unless you go along with this!

Are you DONE that easy, Madwyn? Do you not want to try and save this?

MadWyn..

A suggestion. Hopefully not too late.

Can you call the local police/judges/anyone/everyone involved in the RO process and ask them their advice?

Your question should be..."My wife has been involved in an affair and is attempting to remove me from my home. She has given me a deadline to vacate the property on threat of filing an RO. My attorney advises me to avoid an RO at all costs...and I am aware that a recent domestic violence has made it very easy to obtain an RO. What can I do to avoid being removed from my home with fraudulent charges?..would it be better to leave by her dealine in order to avoid the RO...and what can I do to protect myself and my case for custody if my actions look as though I have left voluntarily?"

Take those questions to ANYONE who will listen. Publish an editorial in the local paper..DO WHATEVER you can to get exposure prior to [if you still have that option] her filing an RO and to lend credibility should she go that route.

Make a big stink about the THREAT being used as a tool to remove you from your home. People have a sense of justice..and do not like to see protection orders manipulated by unfaithfull spouses to FURTHER victimize those they have betrayed.

Make a paper trail. Talk to your attorney about options of this sort... I am not familiar with the laws in your area...but it seems reasonable that the more people who are aware of this tactic..and the more documentation you can get that this was/is being used as a TOOL and not a legit reaction to your behavior [other than refusal to comply with an unreasonable and frankly illegal demand] the better..no?

I am moving home Saturday when I am home from a business trip.