Go get a snack and turn on a good movie then. You know your plan. Yes, you can take it a little longer. Things are going just fine here, so don't start with the mental masturbation, ok? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I've never heard it worded quite that way before, but OK...

I just HATE this roller coaster ride. I'm ready to get off.

I don't know my next step. I just want Plan A to work RIGHT NOW. It just kills me that it's not.

How could he do this to me? I know I was part of the reason, but still...He promised to love and cherish me(and only me) forever. How could he break his vows this way and not even care??

What's my plan and why is this so hard tonight? I was fine yesterday and even today. This just started tonight while I was at work.

You already know your plan. You are in Plan A. As we discussed Friday, you give him a call tomorrow and have a pleasant chat. Get used to the roller coaster ride and try not to feel sorry for yourself, ok?

I wish some of our more chatty members would come over here and keep you occupied because I am not the chatty type. Do you exercise? I was thinking a good vigorous workout might help you work off some of that anxiety.

hey stph20,

Why don't you post on TKO? We have some chatty people there and we are (mostly) harmless.

Well, I appreciate you keeping me occupied. Everyone else has left me for bigger and better posts.

As far as excersize goes, I walk my dog almost everyday. That seems to help keep me occupied, it organizes my thoughts and makes me feel better.

One good thing about all of this is I've lost about 15 pounds already! So that makes me feel better about myself.

I'll be OK (deep breath).

No such thing so don't DJ yourself like that.

Steph, they are MAJORLY chatty over on TKO!! And friendly and funny to boot! [still laughing about some of the comments about the French, hahahaa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />]

Walking is cute and all, but you need a [censored] kicking, drenching wet, aerobic workout! Why not check into some good aerobic workout tapes? Weight lifting is also very beneficial. I started when my H left me in 1999 and I still do it! It really changes the shape of your body.

I was just kidding...trying to make light of a bad night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I was thinking of joining a gym with a friend of mine, but since WH moved out, my finances are extremely tight, but I'll see what I can do about other work-outs.

(how is walking "cute"...??? my dog loves it!!)

wait a minute, Steph, on second thought maybe you shouldn't go hang with those bad boys over on TKO. I fear they could be a BAD INFLUENCE. I just read some where Pio actually said that "pedicures are not an emotional need!" ummmmmmmmmm YES THEY ARE! Just know that is a blasphemous lie and don't let those boys lead you astray! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Go get a good cardio and a weight lifting tape and do them at home! I think you can buy them almost anywhere. Try Target.

You don't walk with little pink dumbbells, do ya?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I was just over there and read that too, and I have to disagree with them as well! Plan A is all about me and pedicures make me feel better!

Exactamundo!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Told ya I'd get the hang of it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for making me feel better tonight. I really do appreciate it. It's nice to know someone has been through the exact same thing and can guide me, even though I can be frustrating! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Night, hon. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You don't walk with little pink dumbbells, do ya?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> [/quote]

NO, I do NOT walk with little pink dumbbells, thank you very much!!

goodnight.

I called WH this morning about giving me some $$ today. He seemed to be crabby and he kept saying nothing was wrong, he didn't want to come give me the $$ and he didn't want me to come get the $$ from him because he didn't trust himself alone with me. He wants a divorce, but can't keep his hands off me...huh?? He told me he didn't want to have sex with me anymore, because it isn't "just sex" (I told him it was). I asked him what it was then, and he said he didn't know. So, does he really not know, or does he know and not want to admit it?

So we started flirting on the phone and I went to his place and of course, he couldn't keep his hands off me. I think we made an arrangement to get together a couple times a week for sex. I'm not quite sure how we left things. He's coming over on Tuesday for dinner again. As I was leaving, we started talking about our divorce. He thinks I have an appointment with my lawyer on Oct. 4, but it's actually on Sept. 27 (I moved it up after I was called the C-word, but I haven't told him). I told him I didn't know what I was going to do at my appointment yet. And I don't know.

We also sat on the couch this afternoon and snuggled while watching TV. He wouldn't do that if it were "just sex" or if he really did want a divorce, right? He told me the other night that he did still love me. If you still love someone, why would you divorce them? I hate this.

Anyway, as I was driving home, I got to thinking about his living arrangements. He'll be 27 in 2 weeks, he's living back at his mom's house, sleeping on an air mattress, having to buy his own groceries, having to give me $$ for our household bills, since he stuck me with a house I can't afford, as well as paying his own bills and this is better to him than living here with me and working on our marriage...how?

Boy, WS's are stupid. He is impressed with my newfound confidence though. I kept telling him today that I'm hot. He still thinks so too, but still talked about divorce. (???)

And as much as I've learned by being here, I'm still confused by him. Again, there was no mention of OW at all. I have no idea where things stand with her and I'm scared to death to ask.

Am I handling any of this right? I'm trying to keep him confused, but maybe this isn't the right way to go about it, because it confuses me too. But, it's the only way I get to spend any time with him and show him my Plan A, because we usually spend all afternoon or evening together.

Why? The WS is already confused. What they need is consistency. In what way are you trying to confuse him and what is your goal in doing that? Maybe I just misunderstand.

Hmm. Lemme get this straight OK? You and WH are going to screw a few times a week, and he can go screw OW when he is not with you? Have I summed that up accurately? I haven't read your thread but what plan are you following here because I see a lot of cake eating going on with WH. What is his incentive for change? He's got free regular sex with 2 woman. Um am I missing something here? I freely admit I haven't been following this thread....

OK, let me try to explain myself a little better...he seems deadset on D. So, I guess in some stupid fashion, if I keep seeing him and showing him my Plan A, it does confuse him and what he wants. He sees me and maybe isn't so deadset on the divorce. He's confused about what he wants even though he knows what I want, but he doesn't know he's confused...I don't know, I think I'm creating a mess in his head. We're actually spending time together, not just having sex and going home.

bigkahuna-
I know you haven't followed my thread, so I will tell you that WH's A is more of an EA than a PA. WH and OW have only had sex twice, in the beginning of their R, which started in June, and he told me today that he's not having sex with anyone else but me. And I do believe him because he's past the point of lying about it anymore. I know this may go against everything we've learned about WS's, but I know my H and I know he's not having sex with her.