Well, my DS was the BH in his first marriage, and was not sure until 2 years ago if his daughter was his. I was sure, based on several reasons, and she looks like my son did as a child; but, he did not do a DNA test because he was afraid to find out that she WASN'T his.
DGD was born 8-1/2 months after her mother returned to the marriage after running off with OM and staying gone for a month. I know for a fact that DGD was about 3 weeks premature, which put her probable conception date AFTER her mother came back to our DS. Anyway, as soon as we learned of the pregnancy, we (DS, H and I) decided that we would love this baby, regardless of whose child she was. She would be OURS (as in part of OUR family).
Her mother started cheating again, and DS ended up getting a divorce when DGD was 2 years old. DS FULLY supported ihs children, although the amount he was required to pay in cash to their mother was negligible. By this, I mean that he provided a car for her to use for the kids' transportation, gave her $75/week cash money, paid directly for everything else...doctor bills, medicine, school fees, clothes, and Christmas. He later even bought a mobile home for the children and their mother to live in (hoping to stop the constant moving to avoid being evicted). Problem with that was that she managed to move her boyfriend in, and there wasn't anything he could do about it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
The did try to reconcile a few years later, but since they hadn't remarried, she figured it was still OK to date other men. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
They split up again. A little over 2 years ago, when DGD was not quite 8 yo, she informed DS that she and the kids were moving to Texas with her current boyfriend. Since DS had joint custody, he said, "No way are you taking my kids off to where I can't see them." He was already considering going for primary residential custody, due to the living conditions she was providing. As it turned out, one of her neighbors turned her into DHS, who came and questioned the children at school. That night, she brought the children to our DS and moved out of DS's mobile home (DHS was planning to come inspect the living conditions, and she couldn't get it cleaned up fast enough). The next week, she moved to Texas, leaving the children with DS.
DS filed for custody. She claimed that he should not have custody of DGD because he was not her bio-dad (but she still wanted him to pay child support). DS refused to take a paternity test prior to court.
Because of a quirk in our state law, the judge could not declare DS to be DGD's bio-father. He said that DS would always be her LEGAL and de facto father, with all legal rights. He did not rule on custody, because this hearing was only to establish paternity. He did order DS to take the paternity test, and he ordered exDiL to pay for it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> He also told our son that if it was up to him, personally, he would give DS everything he wanted. He advised DS to appeal to our State Supreme Court to have the law amended. He would rehear the case if the paternity text was positive.
(Basically, this is what the law said: (paraphrased)
If, in a paternity issue, one party shall refuse the paternity test, the court SHALL rule in favor of the other party. )
The law was apparently written as a means of dealing with men who wanted to get out of child support, and did not take into consideration the man/husband who WANTED the responsibility of parenthood.
Anyway, DS quickly did a private paternity test and stalled on taking the court-ordered test (not hard, 'cuz exDil had trouble getting the money together), while his lawyer immediately appealed to the Supreme Court. If the paternity test had been negative, they would push the appeal. If the paternity test was positive, DS would go ahead with the court-ordered one.
It was POSITIVE, with a 99.99257% chance of our DS being her father. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
A couple of weeks later, exDiL agreed to give DS custody. She was already in trouble, due to having lied on the witness stand about her conviction for forgery...and knew she had committed perjury again by stating that there was no way DS could be DGD's father. Judge had made it very clear that he didn't like her...told her that WHEN it was proved that she had committed perjury in his court, he would throw the book at her. He also called her "trashy".
Anyway, although DGD turned out to be our DS's biological child, for 8 years, he believed that she probably wasn't.
He adores that child (and always did, from the day she was born), and she is crazy about her daddy. It never bothered him one bit to pay child support for her. As far as he was concerned, she was HIS baby.
The OM? Well, he THOUGHT he was her bio-dad, but knew what DS would do to him if he turned up on their doorstep. The OM's father lived next door to DS, and the OM once tried to get the babysitter to bring the baby down to his father's house so he could "take a look at her". Babysitter told DS, and DS sent word to OM that he'd best leave "MY family alone." Naturally, the OM was not interested in having to pay any child support. He didn't want to REALLY be her daddy.
DGD knows about the paternity issue, because her mothere told her 2 days before the hearing that DS was not her daddy. It broke her heart. Now, however, she is even crazier about her daddy, and part of it is because, as she said, "My daddy loved me even when he thought some other man was my real father. He didn't care...he loved ME."
When she gets old enough to understand the significance of her mother's actions, I figure that there will be some major issues to deal with, but I am confident that DS will help her work through that. DGD has a lot of spunk and speaks her mind. ExDiL will have quite a lot on her plate when DGD figures things out.
So, our DS's exWW tried to use non-paternity to keep DGD from DS. Even if he hadn't been her bio-dad, the filthy house/lack of care & supervision, etc., would probably have been enough for our DS to win custody. As it was, the judge did say that while this wasn't a custody hearing, DS's status as LEGAL father meant that he would not be denied access to DGD.
