was just reading this, and thinking to myself that when you admit that you are struggling with lonliness, your willingness to openly admit that here, will certainly bless someone. Someone will read your words and think "I am not alone in that."
I remember struggling at times, even though my boys still lived with me. But they had their own lives, their own activities.

I would just encourage you to keep doing what you are doing. Keep reading, keep hosting bible studies, and having folks over for dinner.

This is a lonely time of your life, but also a good time for you. You were married for many years, and will be married for many years again. this is a short chapter of your life, and even though it doesn't feel like a lot of fun, try to relish each day. there will come a time later, after you are married again, when you will wish for a little bit of alone time, so try to store up your alone time now.

Try to think of any other activites you would want to participate in still, while you can. Even simple little things - I am reading a book right now (the last of the At Home in Mitford series) where the wife has set a goal to "make the very best oven fries". a simple little goal - but one that would be difficult to carry out when you are busy setting up home in SFO, visiting with family-to-be, finding a new church, etc.
you get the idea.....

WOF....

Your words "I remember that..." are encouraging. Yes, this too shall pass.

I try to remind myself of how impatient I have been, and continue to be. Yes, I know this is a short chapter of my life, and it is a good one even fraught with the loneliness. I read of the plight of many others here and I feel guilty about even THINKING of my heartache...but that doesn't remove the feelings.

Tonight I will be going out to dinner with a couple who recently joined our church but will be transferred (he's in the military) this Friday. They have been such a blessing to me...and I will (not meaning to be a broken record) really miss them, too. (I just finished the homemade brownies she made me to thank me for the dinner I took last month when they had their baby girl).

There is a lot of things going on between Ann and I, all good, but we are really getting to do a lot of the "work" of marriage quickly. I am amazed to watch her patience and grace as she deals with issues that I want to attack with the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, yet she remains calm and faithful and all works out to her good. I am learning a lot from her....she tells me she's learning a lot from me. I think I've got the best end of the deal!

I am considering taking tennis lessons (don't laugh). Ann loves to play, and I've not played since H.S., so that may happen (depending on this trip out west).

And...I've pitched a few new ideas to my boss (this morning) which he likes and will allow me to do some traveling. So...I may hit the road for a bit and see some different parts of the country for a while. I'm going to try to drive so Jeb can go with me and I can enjoy the fall foilage.

Thanks for your encouragement...

Georgia

"to every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven."

I trust you to be OK. I can't believe someone could go through so much, learn so much, come so far, and then bomb out. I think you'll make it through this, and find happiness.

If you drive very close by Zion National Park in your travels, you should come see me. I'll take you to lunch, or more, depending on what's going on.

Like Carol King said, "you got a friend."

SS

SS -

LOL...I had to google Zion to see where it is. I don't think I'll be near there, unless I drive to the Bay area and pass nearby. Possibly Ohio, North Carolina, and Texas.

My diabolical mind is working a plan to drive to Texas, which will have me almost 1/2 to CA. Then, I could go on from there and have my car in CA (along with Jeb).

But..I'll keep your invitation in mind.

TAPESTRY...I wore that 8-track out!

Georgia

Good Morning all -

I must say that I am feeling so much better now that I was when I posted my "blue" post earlier.

I had a wonderful dinner with my friends last night. I really enjoy their company and will miss them a lot. He is a test pilot (for the Army) so we get to talk shop a little too.

I discovered last night that I have a leak around one of my chimneys. #1S has my long ladder, so I called and asked if they would like to come over Thursday night for dinner and bring my ladder back so I can get up on the roof. Much to my surprise, they are coming over tomorrow night. This is the first time in a long, long time that I will have had dinner with both #1S/DIL and #2S/DIL in the same week. Very good.

I have a meeting in San Antonio next Friday (Oct. 20). I'm still trying to work all of this into a master plan somehow.

Georgia

Good Morning all -

Things are just going so awesome right now...I'm sure I can't adequately tell everything.

#1S/DIL came over for dinner last night and it was just so nice! His demeanor / attitude has changed so dramatically in the last month or so...it is such a blessing. It's almost like he's back to the person he was "before". We had a wonderful time, he showed me photos of their recent vacation to D.C. (Grilled T-Bones last night, by the way!).

And...my church has been having revival this week. It started out being a series of services beginning Sunday and "offically" ending Wednesday. However...it has turned into REAL revival and is still going strong...amazing the things that are happening there. Last night (before #1S/DIL came to dinner), the visiting music leader asked if anyone would like to join in leading the singing. One of my High School S.S. students went up on the platform and sang PERFECTLY "Amazing Grace" a cappella. It was the most incredible thing. Of course, this kids comes from the "hood"...I have no idea of his family situation...he just walks to church.

And.... things have just fallen into place for my trip. I am leaving here next Wednesday and driving to San Antonio (stopping in Baton Rouge). I plan to spend Thursday and Friday in S/A, then head west. I can move into the apartment on Monday (Oct. 23) and have it reserved until Thanksgiving weekend.

I continue to be amazed at Ann. There is no doubt that I am so blessed to have found her..and our relationship is just blossoming in so many ways. It is our continued fervent prayer that this time will allow her kids to get to know me and, hopefully, feel comfortable with me.

I'll be going to visit my CASA kids this weekend, as well as their Mom. I think Mom & Dad are trying to get their act together...which would be wonderful! These kids being raised in a SAFE home by their real mom and dad...now that would be an answered prayer that is hard to top.

It is just incredible all that is going on...the blues seem so far away right now!

Georgia

I am glad things are looking up for you and that the momentum will be sustained and built on while out in CA. You will keep us updated while you are out there. I grew up in the SF Bay Area...about 18 miles south of SF. There's lots to do and see out there..I am sure you will enjoy your stay.

Thanks, Trix -

Yes, other than just getting to enjoy the time with Ann, I am looking forward to a month in the Bay area.

The cross-country drive is something that I had actually thought of earlier this year as something I would enjoy doing. When I look at the amount of miles to cover, I must admit it is a bit daunting, but I know that I'll have a lot of memories from this trip.

I will post how things are going as they proceed.

Georgia

FGG,

If you are going to be in the Bay Area about the 2nd week of Dec. there is a good chance that some of us will get together. 2Long and I have a meeting there that we attend annually and at least one time Redhat and others joined us.

So if you plan on being around about then, keep this in mind. We will do our best to make it work.

Enjoy the drive. Oh! by the way, Texas is NOT half the way to CA especially the Bay Area. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I know I have driven that road many many times, and then all the way to the east coast quite a few times. Enjoy the drive, I love the trip myself.

God Bless,

JL

I have driven cross county many times...but the last time was in 1986. Most times were marathon drives. The last time I drove with my 3 kids when they were young and we camped most of the way. I have never driven through Texas....but I have heard it isn't the most enjoyable drive....except for a little part of it, my H said it is very boring.

Maybe you should bring some books on Tape...I bet there are long stretches without much on the radio. I tend to listen to more talk radio than music when I drive.

Trix,

Texas is fun to drive through. Go through the "Piney woods and swamps of east Texas, then into the plans near San Antonio, then up into the platau country in west Texas, through some neat geological areas and yes big wineries out near Ozona (sp), then mountains and such on the way into El Paso (which is NOT very scenic <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />). Heck you can even see really BIG birds flying around in West Tx. B52's and B1's buzzing along at low altitudes as you get near El Paso and such. Can always stop on a Fri night and take in a good football game as well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Of course if the town is small it is 6 man, but the WHOLE town will be there. Friday Night lights you know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And the sunsets...they can be just magnificent.

Further, he could turn off 10 down toward Marfa and look for the "Marfa lights" reputed to be UFO's. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Its fun.

JL

Hi Trix & JL...

JL, according to Mapquest, San Antonio is 40.0% of the way from my town to San Jose...not quite 1/2....

I am tentatively planning on heading back to Georgia the weekend of Thanksgiving, but we'll see how that goes. If I do end up staying longer, I'll definitely keep that in mind.

Trix...cross country with 3 kids...now THAT is a brave woman! The final 1700 miles from San Antonio to San Jose I can break up over 2 1/2 days...so that shouldn't be too much of a marathon. I must admit that I was the one who always liked to let xW drive while I read / slept, and she liked to drive so that worked out well.

#1S and I were discussing this afternoon the book ideas. I'm actually on a Christian web-site (recommended by #1S) downloading some sermons to CD right now. Also, I'm going to visit the local library to see what they have, and #1S recommended the Cracker Barrel thing where you can go in and buy books on tape, then return them for a partial refund.

Probably my biggest concern is hoping that my trusty Saab will make it. In the past month, I've bought a water pump, an oxygen sensor, and a motor mount. My mechanic has declared it "road ready"...but we'll see.

I just hope I can call the AAA from anywhere along that route...

Georgia

JL, What you described sounded like weaving your way through Texas..but I am unfamiliar with the state. Aside from airports transfers, I've only been there once. Port Aransas, outside of Corpus Christi. I didn't find that area very attractive.

FGG,
At least you'll have a cell phone. Years ago, we didn't.

I've driven the central route, the northern route, and the Canadian route. I moved to Vermont at 18. I hitchhiked from Vermont to CA 2x to visit my Dad and a sister. Then I moved to Maine and drove from there a couple of times. My sister lives north of Santa Rosa now. My Grandmother, great Aunt and Uncle used to live in San Jose when I was young. We spent a couple of months out there settling a cousin's estate in 2001.

Not that long ago you drove up north and survived the trip...this will just be about twice as far. It is good you will get a break with your stop in San Antonio.

I didn't know Cracker Barrel did that with books on tape. Interesting.

A stop by the library today and I now have the Truman biography on tape, as well as 2 Louis Lamour (sp?) books.

You can only check out 2 titles at a time.

Boy oh boy...time is drawing near. So much to do.

I had to get on the roof today and do some patch work. There is a leak around the chimey in my kitchen. And...I have OFFICIALLY finished my French door project as of today with the installation of the door knob. (Whew..that was quite a chore!).

Ann and I talked a long time today. She asked if we could go to the Reagan library while I'm there. Now that will be fun...I've been wanting to do that a long time!!

Okay, off to bed and ready for an exciting day at church tomorrow.

Georgia

Well....everything is packed and I'm leaving early, early tomorrow morning.

I am really looking forward to this time with Ann. She and her D's have had such major breakthroughs in their conversation this week and things are looking really, really good in that area, which seemed to be so rocky.

Those of you who pray, pray for a safe journey. I will be covering 2800 miles by next Monday and am looking forward to the trip and the time we'll have together, as well as the time I'll get to spend with the rest of her family.

Georgia

FGG,

Did you make it?

-AD

oops!

Hello everyone....

yes, AD, I did indeed make it here. Slightly over 3,000 miles and my trusty Saab performed flawlessly (please knock on the nearest wooden structure if you are superstituous). I saw amazing scenery that I had never seen before. The windmill farms of north Texas and eastern California are quite spectacular.

I spent one or more nights in Baton Rouge, San Antonio, Tucson, and my car when I got lost in L.A. and couldn't find my hotel. That was really the only major problem along the way, and that wasn't so bad really.

The apartment here is wonderful and the complex is very nice. Jeb is having a good time and he and Ann's dog get along quite well.

I am being careful to maintain a fairly constant work schedule, working 6:00 - about 2:00 each day. I, unfortunately, have to go to Iowa for a one day meeting the middle of next week. I will only be gone 1 night (assuming all is well with air travel that day).

Things relationship wise are progressing along well. I say "well" because I am learning first hand a whole lot of what WOF was talking about, but it is (I think) a very fruitful learning experience. I am learning A LOT about her how she "thinks" and "reacts" differently than what I'm accustomed to. But...this is a good thing, and there is nothing "troubling" there, just getting to really know each other.

And...I have been truly surprised at how kind her D's have been to me. I've not been around them a lot, but we did all go to lunch after church yesterday and her SIL picked up my check. Both of her D's have seemed genuinely kind, not faking it, but really kind. That has been a blessing to me.

Her gk's are great and I've already enjoyed a little interaction with them. Very sweet kids and well behaved (for 4 year olds that is!).

Well, I feel a little guilty posting here knowing that my "sitch" is outside what constitutes the purpose of this forum, and I hope none are offended by that.

I will say that I continue to believe the MB principles are indeed valid going into M #2 and I encourage others to use these principles. I also am reading Love & Respect (recommended to me at one time) and am finding it to be a very good book, lot's of very practical insights.

To summarize, it is obvious that this M is going to be no picnic, but it is equally obvious that it is going to be a tremendous blessing. We are both willing to put the work into it, and there is no doubt she is a wonderful and godly woman. I am very, very fortunate to have her in my life.

Thank you all for your continued interest and encourgement....

Georgi.....er....California Guy (dude!)

Hey CA DUDE !!

Nice to see you are happy, and well.

Are any of the adjustments difficult for you?

What's the latest update?

You got a hot date tonight?

Or date? Maybe I shouldn't use the word HOT yet.

What are your son's saying?

How are you feeling about being so far from "home."

SS

Hi SS....

Wow, a whole litany of questions....

Maybe I can hit a number of them at once....

Her D's have turned out to be very, very kind. We were all at her #1D's house for dinner Tuesday night and they have been overly nice to me. Again, Wednesday night at church it was almost like I was an old friend or something. I have found this to be amazing, and something for which I am thankful.

Yesterday I bought another smoker at Home Depot and we're all eating dinner at her #1D's house tomorrow night. I'm smoking ribs (bring a little culture to the Bay area!!). That will be lots of fun....

Last night Ann came here and I fixed us dinner, then we worked out in the fitness center (she is in incredible shape) and played billiards. Yes, it was a lot of fun and we've enjoyed our time together.

Issues I would raise is that we have discussed and agreed that we need to take this slowly and, as she put it, she needs to "courted" for a while. So....my overdrive has been throttled back to first gear, and we are both having a wonderful time "dating".

I have been spending some of the afternoons while she's still at work at her townhouse working off her "honey-do" list, and that's been something she's really appreciated.

I have been talking to #1S quite frequently, but we've not been discussing my R with Ann. He seems to be doing quite well and I'm very pleased. It seems like when he met her in person his whole attitude seemed to change. However, I've not talked to #2S since I've been here.

Adjustments?

Well, I do indeed miss being at home and was homesick for a few days. But, I really am enjoying this area...absolutely beautiful. I avoid rush hour if I'm going anywhere. I do think about what it living here will be like. First, if we live in her townhouse, I am going to really, really miss having a yard where I can stick my hands in the dirt. But...the community she lives in is just beautiful, you can walk to the little "village" area for restaurants, bookstores, grocery market, etc. Very, very nice.

All in all.....I know she needs time and patience, we're both getting to know each other, and we're adapting to each other very well. She is, indeed, a fine lady.

My trip to Iowa next week got canceled, which I am glad of as I didn't want to go.

We have discussed me living out here for a more extended period of time and that is something I may look into as the end of my stay draws nearer.

So...that's a short summary for now.

Thanks for checking in on me....

Geor...well, you know.