I thought being a christian and being involved in the church would help one understand the sanctity of marriage more than the average unbelieving person on the streets. I now see this is totally untrue. Im totally blown away by the amount of SO CALLED christians who have affairs right in the church and then preach to everyone about being saved. Its completely ridiculas.....and I think those people should be held more accountable for their actions than anyone.

*sorry for the rant*

This just really irritates me to no end. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Startinover,

Christianity is not defined by the abscence of sin.

True....but dont you become a christian to be more christ like? Dont most christians know about infidelity and the concequences of it. Why stay in the church and lie to the creater, who knows all? Why preach and serve and still carry on the affair?? Shouldnt those who serve REALLY strive to do what christ desires?? I understand that those in church sin also, but they are the ones that SHOULD know better.

One example that hits close to home for me......besides my EXs sitch.

A buddy of mine had multiple affairs on his wife. She forgave him and they started going to church, he became a member.....straighted out his life and basically started preaching to everyone in sight that he knew about god. I thought that was great, but sure enough......a few years after supposedly finding the truth, he had another affair on his wife. She moved out with the kids.....came back 3wks later, and now he is back to acting like a saint that never did anything wrong. To listen to him, makes me want to vomit. If you KNEW about the lord and KNEW what made you turn to god in the first place, why preach to everyone about wrong doing and then you fall right back into what you did before you came to god???? To me, that is worse than someone on the streets that doesnt know any better.

Sorry yall...........just *RANTING*

This sounds more like a church government problem.

If a leader in a church is found to be in gross sin, he should lose his leadership position and unless he repents, his membership as well.


~ Marsh

StartIn,

Rant away. That is one of MB's most important functions.

Yup, church government problem.

The Bible speaks to the qualities that elders ought to possess. If the church leaders would have held to those guidelines, they would have rejected him from any position of leadership.

The EXs sitch is that she has been dating a married guy in our former church for at least 4yrs. I did expose it to the Pastor of the church, but he basically asked them if they were having an affair.....they LIED and said no. He believed them. Anyhow, my EXs still married OM just baptized someone a couple of weeks back (both he and my EX) are actively involved in their church.

My buddy isnt a preacher......he just preaches to everyone about the bible and quotes scriptures to people about different things.....YET! he couldnt even follow what he was preaching to everyone.

Thats the things I will never understand.

This is not a church problem. People have free will. That is one of the most important aspects of the human condition.

I do not beleive that just because some one goes to church and goes through the motions they are a good christian.

It is somewhat like being here. I can come here and say I am trying to save my M. I can ignore all of the advice, I can chose not to read the books, I can not do the work.

How many of these people that are actually good christians go home and read the bible. Who understand the words that are being spoken. Or do the just regurgitate(sp) the words that are being out there.

IMVHO people think if they sin, they go to church and are forgiven if they confess, repent, or whatever their religion tells them is necessary.

Are they true Christians? Depends on your definition. I would say cracking open a bible once a week might be a good start for someone that claims to be a christian.

The other thing is some people hide behind their religion. It is a mask. Look I am a great person, I am a christian, I am a..... but behind it all they don't have high morals. Behind it all they have an outward persona and the real persona.

How many times have they interviewed a neighbor of someone that commited a horrible crime and the person said well they were such a nice person I can't believe it.

Ted Bundy was one of those guys. HMM

Yeah, that sucks.

Serious problems in that 'church'.



This is a different problem.

If your buddy in committing As than he has a serious heart problem.

It is if the church is placing men in leadership positions who don't meet the qualitifications for elders.

~ Marsh

startinover..

YOU should cut ALL ties with this man...
YOU should lead by example...

ARK

I didn't mean in this type of sitch. I meant overall it is not a church problem. It is the people going to church that do not live within the context of the learnings and teachings.

One thing to remember: A married Christian does not just have an affair. They commit adultery.

There will be a lot more to answer to, in the long run.

With prayers,

I'll give you my perspective as a non-Christian, FWIW.

I have to take full responsibility for my behavior. I have nothing or no one to blame for my weaknesses, whereas, I've seen many Christians blame Satan for influencing them towards sin.

I also have no one to give me forgiveness if I do something wrong. I have to live with myself and I find that keeps me in line. I also tend to analyze human behavior. I was raised in a fundamentalist household and many of the people in our congregation had seriously deviant behavior. When I stopped believing when I was a teenager, I was pretty lost and I had to come up with my own system of morals from scratch. I gave that a lot of thought and I'm sure that my Christian upbringing contributed to what I found important. I've always been honest, never cheated, and have done my best to be a good person who makes some contribution back to society. I've stuck with the moral code I came up with as a teenager all my life and I'm middle-aged now.

I got called for saying I'd never have an affair on another thread, but I feel almost certain that I never would. My husband was raised in an atheist family (his mother's family). He has a similar way of dealing with his system of morality as I do. He had a bit of an EA (partly why I'm here) and our marriage was in a very bad spot from other problems at that point. But, he never acted on the EA and he never said anything inappropriate to her and I think he wouldn't do anything unless we had already split up. He takes full responsibility for his actions and now that we've dealt with our issues in our marriage, we've got a very strong relationship.

Our situation may not be typical, but among my friends, I find the nonbelievers very responsible in all their relationships. This may not be the popular perception among Christians about non-believers, but it's been my personal experience. I also know plenty of Christians who walk the walk live good and moral lives. So, you certainly can't stereotype Christians based on the shoddy behavior of some. I'm just sharing my thoughts on why you see so many having affairs.

Wow.......that is so funny. Thats exactly what I did. He sometimes calls and asks where Ive been. Im not a mean person, so I do answer.....but I do NOT seek him out at all. I havent seen him in peron in over a year.

Insightful to say the least.....thanks.

"Pride goeth before the fall"

Some Christians think their faith protects them from affairs.

Just an observation; The sitch already mentioned aside, I don't think more Christians are having As than non-Christians, but I do think that more Christians, when A is exposed, attempt to recover the M.

According to Barna, the DV rate for Christians is at the national average. Considering the "biblical" grounds for DV, that speaks not well at all of the job the church is doing. Either, DV is occurring in the church for unbiblical reasons, or the rate of As in the church is above 50%!

As for the sitch described, the leaders will be held to a higher standard one day than the rest of the flock. I would not want to be them on that day.

I think that adultery should be preached on about once every couple of months, or at least mentioned from the pulpit. Make it as uncomfortable as possible for the culprits. On the other hand, if the leaders are actively committing adultery, then maybe the congregation should revolt (at least call the offenders onto the carpet to account for what they have done.)