God brought these tools into my life in this order:
*Mentors
*Autonomy from my parents when I moved to college
*Prayer, conversion
*A great husband - who had weaknesses - but his heart and spirit are good to the core
*A job in a psychiatric hospital
*A boss at that hospital who was developing an adult children of alcoholics recovery program
*Participation in that recovery program
*Kasey's hospitalization (not recommended for the faint of heart)
*The Training - something similar at
This Link *A great church leader who told me I was tolerating abuse and disrespect from my husband
*Willard Harley's books His Needs Her Needs, Love Busters, and Give & Take
*Losing our business
*SA - husband discovered 2 months after he bought the first Harley book
*Separation from my husband - abstinence is not sobriety!
*Women's shelter Counselors and an attorney blunt enough to wake me up about my financial situation if I divorced my husband
*My S-anon sponsor - and her story - and her plan, a version of which became MY plan (which included the ability to address the issues raised by the attorney)
*Counseling with Willard Harley
*Sandler Sales Training (You'll never know how that impacts your relationship unless you study it!)
*A ton of books - including 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R Covey (The Divine Center by Covey is also good), "Excuse Me: Your Life Is Waiting" by Lynn Grabhorn, "You Were Born Rich" by Bob Proctor, "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, "What Matters Most" by Hyrum Smith
*A great job with a great company
*and again - a great husband who has weaknesses - but at his core, is a good man and wants to do the right thing. He's the one who found Dr. Harley's books in the first place because he wanted a fabulous marriage!
There were probably other tools delivered to me - but these are the ones I am aware of that I used, and still use.
