Well i havent been here for awhile and i needed to take a break. just reading about other situations really get me "Down" at times.

WW wont agree to NC and told me that it was addictive.that she realizes it and needs to deal with it.

WW says that her life has been open and dont care about what anyone want to say.(actually she does, or she wouldnt be asking me for details)

The OM she said told her that he has always been in love with her and that he cannot get out of his marriage to OM.

this my WW has been harping on from the beginning.Now she says that her world is falling apart and she is getting constant headaches. I am there hand and foot taking care of her until she is better.

She starts telling me details about her days and where she has been.

This morning she said to me as the days get closer she will feel more pain and aches....over the OM (yes she tells me this!)

to sit there and take it..!

continuing....WW asks me if i ever had sex w/ anyone else.

told her no and that i was her gift. not to be for anyone else.

then she ask about what our DS said (wanting to live with me) if i told him to say it.

I was shocked. I told her if i wanted my family why would i want to split it apart with DS?

Then the battle broke out about the OM words against mine.

What he said vs. my words.

So i told her as it is.

"He said he swore on a stack of bibles and his mothers grave that he told ME he loved her. a man will cry, mourn , become the greatest actor to claim his objective. the proof is in who is he going to marry. and he is not choosing you."


Now saying that WW was mad was an understatement.

i really dont care at this point.

just glad to say what i saw. i know that i LB, just didnt at that moment cared. I told her sorry that this is the situation and that i will always be here.

she still mad.

dont know how to proceed.

So has she admitted then that contact continues?

If so...have you continued to make it clear to her how much that hurts you? (as much as what he's doing to her hurts her?)

Is there value in exposing further, since contact continues?

Again, make it CLEAR that you are not willing to sit around while she's keeping in touch with him. It's a balancing act...plan A'ing and showing your love vs. not accepting blame/not accepting continued contact.

Make it clear you're willing to do whatever it takes to end contact between them. And when she gets angry with you over all of this...don't accept it, but QUIETLY challenge it. "Why are you mad at ME? Did I do this to you, or did OM/yourself do this?"

Just my thoughts. I really think you need to determine if there is continued contact, and work the exposure angle more since you know it's something that will put pressure on them both to end the affair.

Again, what does OM's fiance know on all of this? Does SHE know the extent of the affair, and that they're still in contact with each other?

nc007

Of course your WW is mad. OM's actions show exactly what kind of a scumbag he really is and if she gets made at him, she'd have to realize she had an A with a scumbag. Not a pretty picture.

Her fantasy is crumbling around her and she's mad at YOU for what the OM is doing-because seeing the truth would mean facing all those lies she told herself to justify her A.

I agree with Owl about the OM's fiance. Does she know what a slime she's planning on marrying? Does she know he was having an A with a married woman while engaged to her?

Kind of a deal breaker in my book. But that's just me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />