Do you know the HOTEL in DENVER where he is staying?

What do you mean by HOCKEY CLINIC?

BTW, if you read up on PLAN A, it also includes NEGOTIATING AN END to the A. You haven't done that part.

Plus, I don't think that Pep's idea is opposed to MB STRATEGY. It would be part of PLAN A.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! As Mortarman would say, time to go into BATTLE!!!

I don't believe in handing your H over without first putting up a FIGHT!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Some nerve of her showing up with him at a PUBLIC FUNCTION.

Wonder if she knows about you? Wonder if she knows that you are still married? There's a good possibility that he lying to her about you or the status of his marriage.

ETA: I tried that packing up the clothes routine. The clothes stayed in the garage in plastic bags until I moved out of the house and my H bought new clothes to wear when he moved in with the OW. So much for that....didn't phase him one bit. It's a good thought, though....

Yes, I know the hotel where he is staying. He is speaking at the USA Hockey coaches clinic.

Negotiating an end to the affair, how? Such as telling him what I want to happen in order for us to work on our marriage? I'm fuzzy on this if you would like to explain further.

I'm sure he must be lying to her, but I did send her an email today so she now knows that he is MARRIED, not SEPARATED or DIVORCED.

I don't believe in handing him over to her either, but I think now is the time for ACTION. I have confronted him so he knows that I know about the affair. I have emailed her so she knows he is married.

I don't want to live in a house with a cheating lying jerk any more. I have tried a lot of things. I have told him that I will not give up on our marriage but I will also not be disrespected any more.

So is Plan B out for me? I just don't know what to do or say when he comes back Sunday. He will more than likely come home like everything is fine. IT"S NOT FINE! He is having an AFFAIR!

How did you get her E-Mail address? I thought someone else E-Mailed him about her.

So do you know her name now and where she lives?

I'm thinking.....

I only know her first name and what I think is her email address. I do not know where she lives or works or even a last name. I know her email address because I found it a year ago and saved it and I assume it is the same one.

I appreciate you thinking!

I get the impression that you have been shutting your eyes to obvious signs that he has been having an affair. I hope I'm not hurting your feelings in saying it this way. I did this myself FOR YEARS. My H has said to me that this made him feel like "I DIDN'T CARE". Any of this fit for you?

I think you need more INFORMATION before going into PLAN B.

Start watching his EVERY MOVE. Be OBSERVANT and NOT REACTIONARY when he returns on Sunday.

You need to do the EXPOSURE.

Lay low and catch them if necessary.

Find as much about her as you can. Who she is, etc....

He's used to your passivity and will assume that you will remain the same way.

Mimi - that doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I think I have always known he was having an affair, I could just never catch him so I would sound like a lunatic if I said anything about a OW because I would always get the standard, there is no OW.

I feel like I have finally caught them. This email that I read is plain evidence that he is having an affair and is taking her out in PUBLIC. I am not sure why I need more information?

I don't see how I can find out anything about her. I do not personally know anyone that knows her.

Exposure is supposed to be to KEY people, right? Well, I don't know her boss or anything about her. I don't know the people WH is working with right now. I understand this is essential, but I'm having a hard time trying to figure out WHO to expose to.

I think you're getting great advice from the pros, so I'm just following along .... but the one thing I would say is DON'T try to go to Plan B if you don't think you can get him out of the house. That was a HUGE mistake that I made, and it set me back in a killer way, and has been very hard on me emotionally .... as if this stuff isn't hard enough as it is.

Make sure you will have some teeth to enforce Plan B (separate residences!) before you try to go there.

(And listen to the other people around here on when you should go there or not....)

-AmI.

You really need to know the ENEMY in order to win the WAR.

My H gave me that line about "there is no OW", too, Lost.

You know anybody whose going to be at the HOCKEY EVENT?

"I found out my H is having an A. Let me know if you see him there with anybody"

Might need to call the hotel staff/convention registration... trying to get in touch with "Mrs. Lost"...

AmI - thank you! I understand what you are saying. I just am going to have a VERY hard time living in the same house with him now that I KNOW he is having an affair. I suspected before but now I KNOW. I do not think my WH will ever move out so I don't know if I will ever be able to do Plan B.

Right now I am shattered but holding up ok.

I'm going to go back and re-read your thread and see what advice you have been given about how to handle your WH while still in the home.

Thank you again for responding. I appreciate it!

I understand Mimi, I just don't know how to find out about the enemy.

She has an AOL address so I have been trying to figure out how to search for members on AOL. I was hoping I could find something by using the email address but no luck so far.

I don't know anyone going to the hockey clinic but I will call the hotel tomorrow morning when I know that WH is giving his speech and see if she answers the phone.

Please don't give up on me guys!

I have to go fix dinner for the kids and take my son to a soccer game at school. I will be online later. I know it's Friday night and many of you won't but I hope you check in on me.

Thanks!!!

(((lost)))
I am so glad you found out. Limbo is done. Now you know. No more self-doubt. I'm so mad! How dare he do this....and for so long. Do you know the person that sent the email saying it was nice to meet OW? copy everything before he has a chance to get rid of it? Can you do a member search for profile on aol? If you call the hotel and she doesn't pick up...can you call the hotel desk and ask how many people are registared to the room? While he is gone...INSTALL a keylogger!

It really burns me up that he has left you home to care for harth and home while he is partying it up in NYC w/ OW. My FWH use to have lots of legimate meetings scheduled they always last so long...oh yeah he was meeting her right after.

Keep posting. I'll check in over the weekend.

Try looking her up on AOL and see if she has a profile. The OW in my case was dumb enough to have a profile .... she also used her first initial and last name as her screen name .... that's how I tracked her down.

You never know, you might get lucky!

-AmI.

ChaCha - Thanks for stopping in! I am mad too!!! Thanks for being mad for me! I do not know who the person is that sent the email. It is someone that he met at the dinner and INTRODUCED HER to these people. I still can't believe they have been acting like a couple IN PUBLIC...yuck.

I'm still floundering as to what to do next.

My WH meetings ALWAYS go long...wonder why. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I will call the hotel tomorrow.

Any ideas on keyloggers?

Thanks again!

AmI - Thanks! I will try to look her up. I know her first name and her email address. Not sure how far those will get me but I'm going to check it out!

Thanks again!!!

So sorry to lurk here, but this irks me to hear of WS's continuing their stupidity...

So I hope to help by mentioning the "spybuddy" keylogger. It will track internet, chats, keystrokes, you name it...and it fairly reasonably priced (compared to some others) Just "google" "spybuddy" to find...

But be careful, you'll need to use your credit card, perhaps you might want to "borrow" someone else's so this isn't tracked to you.

And aware that this is can be illegal (invasion of privacy).

However, it seems that he uses the computer a lot? This might really get some useful things...

CJ

Can you install a GPS on his car while he is gone ? That way you will know exactly where it is he is going.. might tell you where she lives or works.... Just an idea

You have checked cell phone records, right ?

So sorry you are dealing with this..

((( Lost )))

Sincerely, Carnation

So what about the idea of going to Denver if she answers the phone?

What do others think?

I guess that might be too far-fetched.

Might be Lost's only chance at catching him since he's so elusive in the city.

At least she would know where they are....

I know a site where there are cheap weekend airfares...

Just a thought...