Yet again you make a great point. I do try to find ways to "bust her". Going though emails, her cell phone etc. I just want her to be honest but like you said, they wont.

The cruise is for us. I am not going to bring it up unless she does since she is the one having the EA. I want to take this time for us.

Any ideas on romantic things to do while on the cruise? I know cruises themselves are romantic, but I want to do something from the heart and that has thought behind it. She longs for things like that.

Russ, I hope you didn't misunderstand what I said.

There is nothing wrong with busting them on their lies and deceit. If you catch them in a whopper, just let them know in a non threatening way, free of anger and emotion.

I thought it would work to your advantage on the trip, though to not do that, so you could ring up the maximum love points.

Hi everyone. Here is an update. The cruise went awesome. We didn't talk about anything, we just enjoyed ourselves. It was a fairy tale, nice and romantic. However reality set in as we were driving home. That Monday I had to go to work. Before I left she told me that she went on the cruise with her mind made up about breaking it off. But she said she saw a change in me and was thinking of staying and working it out. I kept checking her emails without her knowing and read things I wish that I didn't. I read that they have already met and were meeting again. That killed me, especially since she made things sound positive. She explained to me that she was going to meet him to tell him how she felt about me. That was today. They met for a few hours, yes that tore me up inside. But she said she ended it and they were going to stop talking. I asked if they kissed and she said yes. The rest of today went good but couldn't get the kissing out of my mind. Tonight I read her emails again and he emailed her and said he loved her. Nowhere did it sound like he wasn't suppose to be not talking to her. She called on her way home and she sounds so much better then she has in the last few weeks. I am confused? I don't know if she really told him they should stop talking or not now?
She is open with getting help. I have something setup from a friend of mine who I really respect. Him and his wife have a great marraige. I keep telling myself to stop snooping and trust her but I so bad want to check. So far im doing good but man it's killing me to know what she said back to him tonight. Should I look to see?

I am not an experienced member, but I say, Yes, snoop. I have never read anything on this site from experienced builders that would recommend do not snoop.

You need to know where you stand. She is still in a fog. You cannot trust that her words to you match her actions. Therefore, you should be snooping.

Very glad to hear the cruise went well. Congratulations.
Lake

Russ:

Its time to fight for your wife.

Expose, Expose, Expose.

You may win, you may lose.

But your W is hanging in the balance.

You have to end her A.

Of course she told you that she met with him to end it. But she didn't

Of course OM sent her an email telling her he loved her. He wants more of her.

Remember, you need a new shirt. The one with the great big S on it. For Super Spouse.

And the fight is going to get ugly. Remember that.

Your W enjoyed the cruise because she is a cake eating wayward spouse.

Until you make the taste of the cake bitter, she will not stop.

DO you want proof? Read Heartsore's thread. From the beginning. And you will know what you are up against.

Russ,

It appears that you are like a lot of BS's that come here. You exhibit selective reading skills that permit you to read but not process advice that would require YOU to perform tasks that are psychologically and emotionally difficult.

Pep, a very senior poster here, gave you excellent advice on what you could have done in one fell swoop to improve your situation. BTW all of these are based on MB principles.
You took the greatest opportunity(your cruise) and it went completely for naught.


You are appeasing your WW. Appeasement NEVER works.

I recieved alot of great advise. Of course I haven't had a chance to do every one of them. Our cruise went great? Guess im lost on why you think otherwise?

We have counseling setup for this weekend. I can't wait! Things have been much better around the house but she is so busy running 2 buisness's. She seems to be more open, showing little more affection. She has told me that she is trying to find on why she loved me once before. Only issue still ongoing is them talking but no where near as much. I know this weekend will change all of that.