Please pray for my wife. She has been involved in a A for nearly 3 mts now and showing no sign of letting up. I ordered the book Surviving an Affair today but I really have a burden for her salvation and heart. I pray a hedge of Thorns around her hourly almost. God has given me a forgiving heart right now and My 7 yr old daughter and myself so want to put our family back together. Please pray for her

Prayers going up for her. One thing I recommend -- start thanking God for answering your prayer. WHat I found was that God was working even though I physically couldn't see the results yet.

Thanks. Already thanking him daily for all he has done and going to do. Its hard sometimes because this hurts soooooo much.

How long did it take you to see results?

H was home within 4 months. Now, that's not saying it's a magical # that will happen for you. I'm not sure what has to happen in order for God to complete His plan. What helped me get through it was listing what I'm thankful for each day & keeping it posted visibly where I could see it to be reminded. I added a new thing each day.

The prayer of hedgethorns worked wonderfully. I never even saw what the OW looked like. God really protected me. And after he came home, we only had one instance when he tried to contact her. Since then though, 2 years later, the OW has been history.

I took notice on GQ that it's a situation of in-laws going on. My brother had the exact same thing happen to him. My H & I also survived a ONS w/his sister in-law (his brother's wife). That was about 12 years ago. Was not something H was proud of & he doesn't like to talk about it. So I can relate somewhat, but not fully to this type of situation.

Does the OM's W know why OM left? Does she know about the A?

Yes she knows but I don't think she cares because she has already filed papers for child support and alimony and is preparing to file for AOA against my wife.

How do you know this? Have you talked to her?

I talked to her twice and my wife has told me the rest. "You know he doesn't love her". "I didn't break that home up." "he ain't going back to her regardless of us." It is amazing how open she has been with me about this. If she only new how bad it hurts. Maybe she does know but just don't care.

HB,

Your W is looking for excuses & things to say to hurt you so you will push her away & walk away so she can be "guilt-free". WS thinking, "See, he hates me anyway...No point in trying to work on this M." It's babble.

I wouldn't trust too much of what your W says at this point. She is getting second-hand information from the OM. The only way to absolutely know the truth is to talk to the OM's W.

What I found was that my H was more truthful during our seperation than he was our entire M. The reason for that being, he knew that he could say anything he wanted to regardless how it hurt me b/c he could just get up & walk out. He didn't have to live w/an argument or a discussion or anything like that.

I really don't want to talk to OM's W because I think she pushed him on my W. She found out about his affair 2 yrs ago and was looking for a chance to get rid of him. But I will say that the OM did ask his W a few weeks ago if he could come back and she told him if he was completly rid of my wife and ready to build a marriage and go to consuling. He said he could not promise that. My W found out about this and flipped on him. I think he used that as a trump card against my W to get her to do things she don't normally do.

Don't underestimate the power of the OM's W in your journey. She could be an instrumental part of it. I would talk to her again. Tell her that you're trying to save your M. That you would like her help in ending this A. I only say this b/c:



Maybe she'd be interested in working w/you to end the A. You never know until you ask. Please don't assume.

I'm not sure I understand your last comment about the trump card. Could you explain a bit more?

Trump card meaning she wasn't giving in to sex with him as of yet. Just a guess

My daugther was talking to her last night and my W asked her to spend a night with her Sat. night. My daughter said if you take me to church Sunday I will. She said ok so I am praying that the Holy Spirit will come over her.

You never know HB. God plants seeds everywhere. And don't get discouraged if things continue on like this for a little while despite her going to church. God is more than capable of planting a seed in your W's heart in any way He chooses.

Thanks for the encouragement Standing. I am reading Surviving An Affair right now and it has shown me a few things I can do. But it seems that the OM is possibly wanting to go back to his W. So right now I think I will just continue what I am doing and trust in the things I can't see. That is true Faith

If this is the case, then you can hurry it along by praying for this couple that they have reconciliation.

Have you spoken w/the OM's W yet?


What is it that you're doing, HB? What active steps are you taking besides praying?


I agree! Continue to praise & thank Him for accomplishing this deed even though you can't physically see the results right now.

{{{HB}}}

No I haven't talked with OM W.

The active steps are pretty much nothing. NC clause as much as possible. I do however reaasure her of my love for her and my desire to rebuild a stronger marriage. Other than that I can't do much more because she will not let me in. She shut the door on me and her family.

Well she didn't go to church this morning after promising my daughter she would. I am really at a loss.

Got bad news a few minutes ago.My WW took my daughter to see OM last night with his daughter(who is my niece). Then went to his dad's house and stayed late last night, drove his vehicle home, then switched cars back today at her shop and let the kids play all day. My life as I know it is ending!

{{{HB}}}

Please contact the OM's W. She could be a very big ally in all this. If what was said is true & the OM's W wants to reconcile w/him, she can be a big help in squashing this A.

I'm praying w/you. Do you have a lawyer? If your W does not honor your requests to keep your DD away from the OM, then maybe a seperation agreement w/a visitation schedule needs to be in order. I don't know what the laws in your state say, but this might be an avenue you want to explore.