Everyone has some good ideas. But I vote for SILENCE.

I went through the same thing with friends, workmates, and sadly even the daughters that I raised. My step-daughter let her dad and OW conduct there sleazy rutting in her home.

When I was raising her, I tried to instill good values in her. I loved her like my own, and still do. But at 25, she is past the point of being educated.

I lost a lot of "friends" after WH's affair. I went on with my life without them. Friends take a lot of effort and time. I decided I would spend that on more worthwhile things.

For about 2 years, I had very few friends. It was lonely, but I got through. And more importantly, I had the self respect of knowing that I held out for the real thing.

Wow! I had no idea till someone sent me a private email that this thread had come back alive!

As you probably guessed, I did nothing ... the default decision. I guess I can always send a letter if I need to -- today, or a month from now.

Piojitos was right about me spending too much time on this. And Bob, it's not so much worrying what people thinking -- it's thinking about how to be effective. And I just don't see it happening. When you oppose groupthink, you are always going to be playing defense, and Janet can get her opinion ratified by twenty others. I don't mind standing alone, but I do mind wasting my time by trying to get someone to "see" something he or she doesn't want to see.

Just to show you how bad things are getting... over the weekend, I had my stepsons to dinner. They found out that a friend of theirs who is suicidal, bipolar, and lesbian is now living with XH & OW. OW fantasizes that she is a "healer" -- remember, they took on an Alzheimer's acquaintance as if she were a puppy. Now, the girl's mother apparently pressured her daughter to get "healed" by crazy OW.

I am concerned about the suicidal daughter -- she already lost one eye to a self-administered pistol shot to the head. But on the other hand, she may be the best out of the four in the household. She told my SS: "All three of them are crazy!"

She wasn't being figurative. A young woman can figure it out faster than a whole community.

The Alzheimer's person is still there. After sending out a round of emails to the community about how she was curing Alzheimer's, HX & OW are now looking for 40-hour-a-week help -- presumably for free -- for this elderly person. XH calls it a "wonderful opportunity." Can't anyone figure out that real "caring" people don't send out PR bulletins on themselves???

Other stepson and I were talking about how people imagine themselves. Since the subject of XH had come up several times in the evening (not by me), I mentioned that OW seemed to be someone who has a huge imaginary picture of herself. Stepson said cheerfully, "Oh, I think that's normal for her." I told him it is never normal to be that deeply in imagination -- that the more you are divorced from reality, the crazier you are. If I imagine I am a brain surgeon -- and I am not -- someone is likely to get hurt!