|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
Yes, my friends.... I have two yrs ahead of WS in dealing with the loss...the side B of not being in a relationship.... and am actually slowly moving into appreciating the side A.....the good stuff about being on my own!
...but don't think the future is going to get any brighter for WS!
...as I was telling SIL... I guess the reality of our choices is that they have a side A and a side B.... we like the side A, and learn to deal with the side B....
...now wouldn't life be just great if we could only choose side A of things....
...a WS that wants to cake eat.....basically would like only sides A in his life.....side A of family life....side A of affair..... the good stuff.....the easy stuff... no effort!
...unfortunately.....like my SIL told me.... reality does not work that way.... and basically WS gets caught with having to face the 'loss' and side A of family life..... and have face side B of affair.....OUCH!
....and out of the whole mess....WS comes up a looser.....he still is only left with a side A and side B of anything..... and now has to start all over...and no matter what, will never get close to what he HAD.....an intact family!
...yes...my WS is a dreamer...has done things on impulse.... he is being hit with the day after a big fun party: the consequences... a big hangover.... and a lot of 'cleaning' up to do!
....I may repeat myself....given the choice, I would rather be a BS than a WS.... yes, the A may be fun for a while.... but at the end of the day.....as a BS I still have my respect and dignity....which may not be the case for a WS!
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
Luna said this... I may repeat myself....given the choice, I would rather be a BS than a WS.... yes, the A may be fun for a while.... but at the end of the day.....as a BS I still have my respect and dignity....which may not be the case for a WS! Silent said this Dec 20th.'06 I don't care how painful this is, I would rather be on the BS's side than the WS's side. I have gained clarity that I never had during all of this, and am grateful that I will have tools for a better me, a true me, for the rest of my life. I can't explain what I mean very well right now, but you get the jist... It's amazing how we think alike... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
It certainly is..SL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
Update.
...a quick reminder...no legal separation in place right now between WS and myself...so..no changes in 'financial' status/benefits/wills et al......and so far...WS has shown no sign of wanting to either go the legal separation route...nor, take the D route....and so financial arrangements remain, more or less, status quo....
...in fact a while back, in one of WS's attempts to get me to break PLAN B was that we needed to talk about our 'mutual life insurances': mine was permanent ('til death)....and for cost reasons.....we opted 'temporarily' to make WS's only a finite term....and that his intention now was to make his 'permanent' as well....
My reply to his request: to consider using an 'intermediary', if need be.... which basically meant.... I was serious about my PLAN B (OW out of the picture first)..... and was even prepared to forego a possible future 'monetary' benefit if breaking my PLAN B was a condition....
Message from WS today: informed me that his 'life insurance' had been converted to permanent... and considering that he is still a WS....I suppose he is trying to do the only thing he can do: be as financially 'responsible' as he possibly can be, and at the same time I guess alleviate some of the guilt..... but definitely not taking steps towards D path....
I also know of 'another angle' where this action might be coming from.... that's where 20 yrs of history together comes into play....WS grew up with an 'absent' dad....whose drug of choice was alcohol...who finally did sober up....but who also died without life insurance...to leave WS's mom with a mortgage which took about 15 yrs to pay off... it was painful for S to admit that he lost 'respect' for his dad....but sees no parallel now between his actions and that of his dad....with his drug of choice being the OW....and in order to distance himself from his dad.... should he die...HE will have life insurance to alleviate his family's financial hardships! ...never mind the emotional and psychological damage caused by A!....but I guess that's how a WS mind works!
...so...that pretty well means that it will be left up to me to take the D path....if and when I have had enough of PLAN B.... meaning....not necessarily wanting to have a R of any kind with WS....but wanting to set myself 'free' from the committment of M....and be legally and financially independent of WS....
...but as for the time being I am into 'personal recovery' and am not interested in another R..... I can see myself waiting it out...long enough to change 'beneficiaries'.... and leave what's mine directly to boys somehow! .... unbelievable how fast the boys are growing!
...anyway.... WS so far seems to take his 'responsibility' of looking after the boys one week out of two...as seriously as a WS can be expected to.....
...the A has passed the 2-yr mark...both still work together at the same school...but have also heard that WS is now working at 'another school' as well...meaning less 'fusional' work relationship between WS and OW .... no sign that WS and OW plan to 'officially' live together as of yet... but OW has been 'officially' introduced to friends as well as WS's family....
... on occasion....I do catch myself wondering how things are in lalaland....although some of WS's 'comments' lead me to believe that WS is still very much in fogland.... refusing to 'see' impact of his choices... while at the same time....showing signs, not to me of course, that lalaland is not all he thought it would be!
WS is 'respecting' my PLAN B.... has pretty well stopped 'offering' to help around the house since I was not interested in 'working' together with him....and is no longer attempting to talk to me directly...seeing that I am serious about OW needed to be 'out of the picture', and as WS can't see himself doing without OW...time marches on!
But for now....life in PLAN B is good... and in retrospect, I don't know how I managed the six months living with a WS (between D-day and the time WS moved out)... the difference between WS and S were....HUGE!
...I am OK with NOT planning too far ahead....seeing how quickly one's life can be turned....upside down!...and so learning more and more to focus on the.... present.... appreciating what's around me... my boys....my family (even at a distance)... my friends...my home....my work...my health...I have soooo much to be thankful for...and so....just learning to....soak it in!
....and no...I have not forgotten....leaving the best to last.....
...having all of you guys to turn to when I just feel like....chatting it up!
((((((((((((MB BOARD)))))))))))
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
Chat away, Luna!
I can say this, if WH chooses to be with OW, I did get a chance to see my H again, and it was nice; just not enough.
He said that he didn't think separating from the OW was going to be this hard, because he CHOSE it. I told him to consider how difficult it is for his family, how we must feel with 15 years of loving him, as opposed to a few months, knowing how he feels right now. He was defintely in the fog, because he just began to cry.
One thing that I did yesterday, that I think hurt him deeply, but was very true. While he was feeling torn, and crying, He asked me, "you do know that I love you, right?" I felt the answer right away but paused to make a more coherent thought. Then I responded, "No, I don't, no one who loves me would hurt me so; what you have shown me is opposite to your thought process, it's disrespect, cloaked in justification, and you hurt me" I then asked him if he thought it was love. No response. I think I hurt him deeply by saying that, but it is THE TRUTH. Not my TRUTH, not his TRUTH. THE TRUTH.
Anyway, I ramble, but I'm really just in the mood to chat; home with my DS today, recovering from rotavirus. YEUCHK!
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
Hi SL, Got caught up with your thread....and was sorry to see the false R....but what I also did see was SL standing up for herself....speaking the truth...'fear the fear and do it anyways'...and not buy into WS's justifications and excuses....I think the comparaison to smoking makes it clear... its a choice.....a continual CHOICE...not to smoke.... and once you have smoked...there is no way of getting around it...it's a life battle! One thing that I did yesterday, that I think hurt him deeply, but was very true. While he was feeling torn, and crying, He asked me, "you do know that I love you, right?" I felt the answer right away but paused to make a more coherent thought. Then I responded, "No, I don't, no one who loves me would hurt me so; what you have shown me is opposite to your thought process, it's disrespect, cloaked in justification, and you hurt me" I then asked him if he thought it was love. No response. I think I hurt him deeply by saying that, but it is THE TRUTH. Not my TRUTH, not his TRUTH. THE TRUTH. SL....WS's are living under an 'illusion'... LYING to themselves about the consequences of their actions....when faced with reality... faced with someone STATING the real impact of their choices....YES.... it will hurt and it will be hard to hear...your WS was basically asking you to LIE ALONG WITH HIM to help him AVOID the PAIN that he is responsible for .... and you were not playing his game...by NOT wanting to deny your own suffering and that of your family.... that is one of many reasons WS's choose OP... OP's help MAINTAIN the illusion... anything to postpone or avoid having to FACE reality... the FEAR factor here is immense.....because working with a BS...means facing the damage...and getting to work to repair the damage... and A is like any other 'dependency' that will help in avoiding reality....like alcohol...like drugs... when one does not want to DEAL with reality...bu that doesn't mean it's not there! ....it's like any problem... you can find ways to AVOID facing the problem....to avoid having to THINK of solutions to a problem.....and then make the EFFORT..... but that does NOT mean the problem goes away..... as some WS would like to think... but by neglecting it..... the damage continues to INCREASE.... I know in my case.... my WS is in DENIAL big time! ....claims that he is taking FULL responsibility as a dad... and well....uhmmmm.....sorry BS....for having lost a partner in life.... ...what about our FAMILY, our boys and everything we have worked for so hard for over 20 yrs??!!... reference to it is non-existent..... otherwise...I think he would have a hard time facing himself in the mirror each morning! ...I see a WS's judgement as 'distorted' as that of any alcoholic who lies about being drunk...and worse, is convinced being capable of DRIVING and wants the wheel..... yeah...right....over my dead body! or...uhmmm.....no thanks, not with me in the CAR!....not until WS is able to admit being DRUNK and the danger of driving drunk....(end A).... and pass me the keys please!..... or until....(WS) drunk gets SOBER (A fizzles)....which BTW may or may not happen! ....as a BS....we can only control one thing..... to stop being ENABLERS.... by not buying into their lying....their denial..... their excuses.... by removing oneself from the triangle...PLAN B! ...and if need be....move on....ALONE! but I'm really just in the mood to chat; ...please do....because...sometimes...it can lead to some very INSIGHTFUL thoughts! (((((((((((((((SL)))))))))))))))
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
Luna,
I pointed out the enabling thing to, um, gosh, I posted so much today, I can't remember. It may have been to fightingback. But I basically said that answering the calls and listening to the crying meandering thoughts of a wayward is ENABLING them to continue their behavior. I told her that when she really decides to 'quit' her own habit of receiving crumbs in search of cake, from her WS, she will feel better, be better and DO better. She will also recognize sincerity when in a good Plan B.
I know now, that despite breaking my Plan B, it was good. I did well, better than I thought, and I will do it even better if need be. WH called from work, but wanted to talk about our DS. He said he will be returning tonight, and staying home with DS tomorrow. I'm not sure what that means, but he knows I'll be asking about my conditions...
I have already told him that I am prepared to go the whole nine yards (either in recovery or on my own in Plan B), and that I WILL file for a D when I am ready, if he doesn't sooner. I have thought a lot today, and realize that I would have lapped this up last year. I am healthier now, and happier, and want that to continue with or without him...
I also mentioned that his life will never be the same until he does right by me and his son. His life will circle back on him until he does right by HIM and ME. If he truly believes that he doesn't want to be here, that this is over, then he should file and leave me be. It's quite simple, work on your M, or leave me out of it...
I asked what harm it would do to work on his M, no real answer, except loss of this new life, less responsiblity, flashy OW. It sounds great, even to me, but reality is different, and he has had a taste of it. He knows what he really wants and is AFRAID to get it...
He's afraid to end up back where we were. I assured him that my intentions and my actions show that I have no intention of having the same R as before. I haven't faltered yet, and I don't plan to.
I have made a decision to be happy, he can come along, or jump off, but I'm moving forward no matter what.
I just peeked around the corner and my cutie pie son is laying on the couch sleeping. Man, he is beautiful (I'm not allowed to say that to him, I have to tell him he's HANDSOME--beautiful is for girls, apparently) Poor little poopie (literally) boy. It sounds horrible, but I like when he's a tiny bit illen, because he's soooo sweet and calm, he's angelic...
Now, when he feels better, he'll be rambunctious and full of energy, and FUNNY as all get out, and that's okay too. If he's that great, I must be doing something right!
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
Hi SL, I know now, that despite breaking my Plan B, it was good. I did well, better than I thought, and I will do it even better if need be.....I have already told him that I am prepared to go the whole nine yards (either in recovery or on my own in Plan B) ....well...if you didn't break PLAN B...how else would you know if your WS was ready or not to 'walk' the 'talk'? ....and I think it was helpful to you to see how much you have grown...and that if WS is waffling...not prepared to walk the talk.....you are back to PLAN B.... ....I hear Recovery is already hard when both partners are committment..... which is why it's not wise for BS to even consider it with a waffling WS.... I think this has given an opportunity for YOU and WS to see that you are dead serious about your boundaries being respected....as it is simply a pre-requisite to even consider Recovery....given the degree of difficulty and effort IT would require... trying to do it with a waffling WS is no more no less 'setting' oneself up for failure!
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520 |
Lunamare,
I've been told your are the best with plan B letters. Could you check out mine on my thread and critique it?
Thanks in advance. If I knew how to attach it here I would.
Still
BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
SH01,
I will go and check out your thread.
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,520 |
BW me 46
WH 46
Together 28 years married 23
3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14
DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker
DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW
WH left job 4/02
MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up)
Separated 7/04 to 10/04
Retrouvaille 9/04
Red Flags 11/05
DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss.
Moved out (him) weekend after labor day
23rd anniversary 10/7/07
Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW
Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
Update. Well...well....accidental 'sighting' of WS... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> ...and can confirm...with time....it has become much much less painful.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> ...where before it might have 'destabilized' me for the WHOLE day.... today...I just said 'hello WS'.....and just went about....doing my 'own business'...without skipping a beat! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I just love PLAN B! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,871 |
OH, WoW Luna,
What a great chance you got to show how WELL you are doing, how well you look and how you are STRONG!
You really show all of us how the MB plans and principles help EVERY situation.
My son is coming out of his funk, so it's been a chore to keep up with him today. It's almost like he's making up for lost time; his behavior has been less than today, he's decided that listening is for the birds. Otherwise, one day at a time, chugging uphill, the little engine that could...
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
[color:"red"]LUNA [/color] tell me ... [color:"blue"] you looked like a [/color] [color:"green"] million bucks... [/color] [color:"purple"] ... right? [/color] Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
Hi SL and Pep, Well...I don't know about a million bucks....we're in the dead of winter here....but I had a cute hat! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> ....so WS needed to use his imagination ... he did have a weak spot for my bod.... and I can still wear things from 20 years ago...when we met! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Was on my way back from doing my groceries....so...had my handsful..... ...but I know one of the things that WS would very much like me to do is....allow him to help me.... ...over my dead body as long as he is wayward! in our normal married life....he would have been doing the 'heavy' handling of grocery bags....visually confirming that he has not being much of a 'gentleman' to his wife lately! ...met the insurance broker this week to sign some papers....looks like WS is intent on making his life insurance from 'temporary' to 'permanent' (until his death!).....and the insurance broker felt the need to point out that WS is keeping me as the beneficiary (yeah...I suppose for now!)....was told that WS had to redo all the medical tests....and that he had found WS 'waffly'..... and told me: 'well...you know how it goes... you make you bed you lie in it!'.....LOL...he doesn't know how 'literally' that is! Now...isn't there something wrong with this picture? Isn't a WS supposed to want to D me and want to 'officially' live forever happily with OW? ....Is he waiting until the boys are 'adults' to cut the tie totally with me? ....the sighting DID cause me to think about WS...but was not painful! ....I have the boys this week...so WS after HIS sighting of his wife.... was, I suppose, going to meet OW.... I wonder if WS will mention it to OW...NOT! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I can't imagine a R affair-based.... and how can you 'trust' the other to be honest....when both have already proven they are NOT trustworthy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
....and if PLAN B is confusing to a WS.... wonder if OP can REALLY believe that there is N/C with BS! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> ....but WS IS telling the truth...THIS TIME...LOL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
....would love to be a fly in the wall....just of the kitchen, maybe....and see how R is these days between WS and OP! ....WS and OP have hit their 2 yr mark....bet there was a difference between VD two yrs, while WS was still at home and totally in fogland, and VD this past week....with a bit of reality thrown in! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> ....this BS had NO PROBLEMS this year with VD...just happy that I was no longer involved with a WS! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> (VD being Valentine's Day) ....in thinking about, Pep....if I didn't necessarily LOOK a million bucks.... I had a million-bucks attitude...and I think that came through loud and clear! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
he's decided that listening is for the birds SL...haha....just reread your post and this caught my eye....it brought back 'happy memories' of when my boys were little like yours... uhmmm....and I suppose by now....everybody here knows that ......I JUST LOOOOOOOOOVE MY BOYS!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Luna, I love your attitude. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Quite proud of u 2!!! The WS doesn't have a hold on you but those sporadic sightings are hard to process at times. It does get easier over time. I have been talking with Indy. Seems his WS (now D'd) kicked out the OM and tried to start an R with Indy. She won't commit or acknowledge what she was really up to so when Indy called me, we prepped him so that when it finally came out her real agenda, he was somewhat prepared. He wanted to believe so much that she had changed for the good but when he saw her waffle and then when the OM tried to come back....she took the OM back and dropped Indy like a hot potato.....Indy was more disappointed than hurt. We both knew it was going to happen....she is still very much a WS and now there is not doubt. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Like yourself, Indy has moved forward. One thing we noticed is how immature a WS is. In many cases to be a Ws, one must regress. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Sad but true. When the BS matures and moves forward, the gap widens even farther. So when the WS says..... there's now a big difference....that's a truthful statement but NOT the way the WS means it. When my WS told me I had changed and that may be we were too far apart to consider reconciling....to his surprise...I agreed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> That rocked his WS world a bit. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> It also put the onis on him to make himself worth taking back. It made it easier for me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> This is your time to sit back and watch....the A crumble. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> take care, L.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873 |
Hi Orchid, I love your attitude. Quite proud of u 2! Me 2. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> ...we prepped him so that when it finally came out her real agenda, he was somewhat prepared.... He wanted to believe so much that she had changed for the good but when he saw her waffle...... took the OM back and dropped Indy like a hot potato.....Indy was more disappointed than hurt. We both knew it was going to happen....she is still very much a WS and now there is not doubt. ....and you should be proud of u 2... ((((((((((((((ORCHID))))))))))) Like yourself, Indy has moved forward. One thing we noticed is how immature a WS is. In many cases to be a Ws, one must regress. Sad but true. When the BS matures and moves forward, the gap widens even farther. So when the WS says..... there's now a big difference....that's a truthful statement but NOT the way the WS means it. When my WS told me I had changed and that may be we were too far apart to consider reconciling....to his surprise...I agreed. That rocked his WS world a bit. It also put the onis on him to make himself worth taking back. It made it easier for me. ...and so...how's your 'gap' doing now? ...and how long has it been since your WS turned back to a S? ....and how long did it take? This is your time to sit back and watch....the A crumble. ...pass the popcorn, please! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
659
guests, and
104
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
