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Her friend is in your home looking for software in order to help your W conduct her affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well she just told me this is the last straw and she will be filing for divorce tomorrow. I guess I pushed it too far. Not sure where to turn now.
Ron
Married 12 years, BS 43(me), FWW 44
Kids 9 and 11
Recovering
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesian4
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Yes and now the friend is staying another day. I guess to help her file the papers to get me out of the house. Not sure what direction I should take now. I need to be strong but I think that the paper work is coming
Ron
Married 12 years, BS 43(me), FWW 44
Kids 9 and 11
Recovering
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesian4
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Well she just told me this is the last straw and she will be filing for divorce tomorrow. I guess I pushed it too far. Not sure where to turn now.
Ron You don't need anywhere to "turn," Ron. She is reacting as expected and it will blow over. They all threaten divorce when you interfere in their affair so you will stop interfering. Don't let her scare you and don't let her bait you into a fight. If she has an affair supporting "friend" in your home, I would politely ask her to leave. She is an enemy of your marriage and your children's family and should not be in your house.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes and now the friend is staying another day. I guess to help her file the papers to get me out of the house. Not sure what direction I should take now. I need to be strong but I think that the paper work is coming
Ron Why is this enemy of your marriage staying under your roof?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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STAY FOCUSED, Ron! The goal here is to end the affair and SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE, not to avoid angering your wife at all costs. If your fogged out wife does not get mad at you while she is in an affair, then YOU ARE NOT DOING YOUR JOB!!
So, calm down and remember the GOAL: END THE AFFAIR!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am too polite to ask her to leave. Beside she is from out of town and doesn't have a hotel room.
I guess that I should put my lawyer under a retainer tomorrow just incase.
She is outside right now talking to another marriage buster friend on the phone. So they are grouping together outside and making plans.
Hopefully I can make it through the night. I have controller my anger with her.
WW told me that the problem is not with her online friends the problem is me. She is tired of me and not sure that it will ever work out because we have nothing in common. I think that we have children in common so that is something.
Staying strong with the threats
Ron
Married 12 years, BS 43(me), FWW 44
Kids 9 and 11
Recovering
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesian4
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Your wife is saying all the exact same things that ALL WS's say when someone interferes with their affair. Do NOT LET IT SCARE YOU. It was an expectation.
Again, Ron, this woman is not your wife's "friend" and is the enemy of your marriage and your children's family. You are responsible for protecting your family from her. Why is she allowed to connive to destroy your family inside the walls of your HOME?
Ron, this woman has crossed the line and needs to leave. She is showing gross disrespect to you and your children with her affair promoting actions.
First thing in the morning, I would move your money to a safe place so she cannot plunder it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have already moved all the money out into a separate account. Cancelled all joint credit cards.
Staying strong thanks for bringing me back to the objective here. Stop the affair. I also think that I have his cell phone number. Will call tomorrow to find out.
Married 12 years, BS 43(me), FWW 44
Kids 9 and 11
Recovering
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesian4
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Stay strong and do not allow her to bait you into a fight! You are doing just fine. If she doesn't get mad, then you are not doing your job!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melody,
You have been a great help tonight. Thank you for helpign me with this. I am not sure what to do with out you.
Ron
Married 12 years, BS 43(me), FWW 44
Kids 9 and 11
Recovering
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesian4
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You think it's polite to let someone aid and assist your wife in destroying your family. I can think of a lot of words to describe that enabling behaviour. Polite is not one of them.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Thanks about setting me straight with this. I will do what needs to be done and keep strong.
Married 12 years, BS 43(me), FWW 44
Kids 9 and 11
Recovering
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesian4
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I also think that I have his cell phone number. Will call tomorrow to find out. I betcha there is a REAL GOOD REASON she doesn't have his home phone # and only has his cell phone #. For some reason he does not want your W calling him at home. Can you guess why?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OK BetrayedinCal,
Here's a suggestion.
Go into your bedroom right now. Find that little jar by your wife's bedside table. You know - the one that contains your balls. Get them out and start using them.
You CANNOT save your marriage by enabling your wife's affair.
From ML's post above I presume you have not exposed her affair to OM'sW? That is your first rder of business.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Kahuna,
I have not told his W because I believe that he is not married. But I will try and find out more on him. Do you have a way to search for phone numbers in Canada? That is where he is located. WW is in California.
I have just exposed the affair in deeper detail tonight. I am going to do what ever I can to save this.
Ron
Married 12 years, BS 43(me), FWW 44
Kids 9 and 11
Recovering
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesian4
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I'll bet you that the reason your wife calls him on his cell is because he has a wife tucked in nice and safe at home.
Do not believe the words of a WS. You can tell they are lying when their lips are moving.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have three phone numbers from whitepages in Canada. I will try and call them tomorrow to see if they are him.
Married 12 years, BS 43(me), FWW 44
Kids 9 and 11
Recovering
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesian4
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