Then it's the checkmark on divorce papers "irreconcilable differences". You have a child together so you have to interact with her. Then just do what you are doing, talk about what's relevent to your child together and don't discuss any other issues with her. You've told her how you feel and that you are sorry. It was good for you to do that as well. If she's a brick wall there's not a whole lot you can do to try to reconcile with her, she's made her choice at least for now and there will be consequences to her choice as well. Of course you don't want to hurt anymore but there's no quick fix to that. However limiting interactions with her and not setting yourself up for continued emotional disappointment is what you want here. Do you enjoy your child? Are you getting enough time with him/her? There's a little life here for you to think about and spend time with. Just because it didn't work with her, don't divorce the child too. This child and this woman will be a part of your life. I hope you get to share at least with your little boy/girl.

I have a daughter with her she just turned six....

Try to spend some quality time with her, it's such a cute age. How about making her a Thanksgiving gift or something special to show her how much you care despite this?

We went to ma dad's house for Thanksgiving and had a great time. The kids enjoyed grandma and grandpa's companay. I just about forgot about all of the trouble I have going on.

Glad you are feeling better, my boy and I had a wonderful Thanksgiving, we went to a buffet - we are spending 3 weeks during Christmas with family so this one it was just him and I. Somehow I forgot about my problems too, even today I feel better. A few books on peace and happiness always seem to do the trick for me - anything to take the focus off poor me. I don't like getting in that mode. But it's part of this when dealing with separation and divorce.

Just hopped in to say that you are not alone A. My WW did something very similar. I caught her in an A, we talked it out, she refused any form of reconciliation. I tried to convince her otherwise, but I just had to accept the fact that you really can't work it out if she just doesn't want to. I have 2 kids, 5 and 2, and I get through each day knowing that I have to be their father, and make sure they are well cared for, because the children need parents, and I have questions about how well of a parent she is going to be.
You know, she said she was sorry about what she did... yeah, so sorry she had a different boyfriend a week later. I filed for divorce, and have started moving on. Sometimes that is just what you need to do.

She called me to talk yesterday and I thought we worked things out to a point. But when I called her today she was back with him. I hate these mixed signals.

Same things have happened to me as well. I had to have some sense slapped into me by some close friends to see what her real character was like. You have to ask yourself just how happy you would be if you did work things out and get back together... how long could you go before you thought you started smelling another man on her. My hunches are if she knows you know about her OM, she'd do it again the next chance she got, just to drive you crazy.

Just my opinion. I couldn't navigate a plan A, I tried, but she just wasn't at all interested in working with me. She wants a D, I'll give her a D. I have no room in my life for someone who thinks that little of me.

That was the attitude I developed. It's painful I know, but the sooner you can see her for what she is, the sooner you will start to heal.

I don't know what to do now. I wish I could just move on.

This is sooo true! When I finally said heck with it, you got your D, I changed inside. I accepted things and became comfortable with myself and the lonliness began to subside.

Now.......A few months later, that attitude apparently is showing on the outside and my FWW has asked me about giving things a try again. She is thinking and seeing me as the strong guy I used to be.......Do I want her? I don't know anymore. I'm starting to enjoy being alone.

I don't think it's that she's trying to make you crazy. A shrink once said it's about "self protection" a lot of this fighting, separating stuff. It's easy to think someone's out to get us, but here it seems like a young woman has something like the seven year itch, isn't your daughter 6 or so? Seems like the point when people get restless, especially if they married and had kids young, she's testing her wings but looking back now and then wondering if she's messing up. Of course you want to stop hurting but if she's open to reconcilation - which she is at times - it looks like you'll have to let her figure this out some on her own. So they say, if someone loves you let them go, if they come back they are yours... she just might come back, she's having an absurd little instant gratification affair, these types of things don't create long term happiness typically. I've knowns several women leave their husbands for flights just to regret it years down the road. Seems exciting to have some quick romance after there's been fighting at home, school, a child, the works... These things don't last typically in my humble opinion. My friend's who left their husbands for "flings" have regrets to this day. Their ex's typically moved on quickly as men tend to do to keep from "hurting." But if you can hang in there and not go out doing this yourself you might have hope that she'll wind down from her rediculous escapade.